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Hey guys, if you haven’t heard about Marie Kondo then you’re
a) not married to someone who is obsessed with her
b) haven’t done any kind of a Google search about organizing or joy, so you’re not getting bombarded with suggestions about her in your Facebook or Instagram
or
c) you’ve been on a flight with the rest of the passengers from Manifest and suddenly you’re transported into the present where she’s a household name.
No worries. I’ve got you covered and here’s the short scoop on the short little Japanese powerhouse of a woman who’s causing a Tsunami across social media.
If it doesn’t spark joy, dump it.
Ok, that’s my version of what she’s all about, but it pretty much hits on all the right notes.
I have to confess, I’ve only watched one of her shows on Netflix, but the one that I did consume, scared the crap out of me. Scared me so bad and made me glad that my husband, newly empty nesters, dumped so much of our junk when we moved last year, that there is not a chance in hell that we’d never end up on her show like the couple from Episode 2.
After 50+ garbage bags of stuff, this couple finally could see their garage, their extra bedrooms, their dining room table, and the list goes on. I went to bed almost in hives from watching this episode, and also grateful that I don’t possess that gene to buy, buy, buy. Of course, I could also tell you about my dreams that night, but then that would strike more fear in you than the show, so I will leave that for another post.
Ironically it was because of my dream that night, a frightful one where I was being avalanched over by the couples 50+ garbage bags of stuff that I gained a different perspective than Marie Kondo about the stuff we allow into our life. My perspective was one that I’d had all along, yet it took me being introduced to this powerhouse of Zen, Minimalism, and Feng Shui to realize that…
If it sparks FEAR, dump it!
OMG! That kick in the pants was the BOMB. Why? If you’re sparked by fear then you begin to horde…
- Doubts
- Low self-worth
- Comparisons
- Despair
- Lack of motivation
- Others unrealistic expectations on yourself
- Loss of control
- Belief in self-created bullshit
- Shame and guilt
- Inability to dream
- Crippling effects of “I SUCK”
Before you know it, the house that is you is crammed full of junk, piled high in the recesses of your conscious and unconscious, kicking your ass and making it virtually impossible for you to even breathe a single breath of possibility.
But hey, we’re men. We do the CrossFit thing, never cry, act as if because we’ve got bros and wingmen that we aren’t in need of a Marie Kondo, or anyone else for that matter to clean up the poop in our life that is piling up. All is as it should be in our world until we realize we’re miserable, and FINE just ain’t cutting it anymore! Of course, God forbid we go find a Marie Kondo! We’re men with egos and principles. So what are we to do to when we’re invaded by “If it sparks FEAR, dump it!”
Just dump it. Pound our chests and dump those fears. Cool, I’ll just stand here why you try to do that. Trust me, man-to-man, I’ve tried that and it doesn’t work. Ok, maybe it partially worked, and maybe a couple of little fears got dumped before I realized I needed a little help from my friends not named Marie Kondo. Although, to be honest, there were a few instances in my life that having her would have been a blessing.
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So who are/were these friends I leaned into when I realized “It sparks fear, and I need to dump it!”? They were my Three Must-Do-Tiers, not to be confused with the Three Musketeers, but you can think of them that way.
Must-Do-Tier #1: Humility. I ate humble pie and admitted I couldn’t do it alone. At first, it tasted awful until I realized it was the medicine I needed to overcome my fears. I admitted I didn’t have answers. I asked for help. I quit letting my ego lead. I put my humble pie out on the table and served it up for all to see and asked others to join me so we could all share in the bounty of noshing on some downright, soul-satisfying humility. All it takes is a good helping of humility to dash the fears away.
Must-Do-Tier #2: Vulnerability. I started speaking my truth, not hiding anything, and taking the risk to say, “This is me. Take it or leave it.” I was naked as the day I was born – metaphorically speaking. I opened myself up, scars, imperfections, stretch marks and all. I allowed people to see me, the real me and the more I allowed the real me out, the less I feared. Hell, I had nothing to hide. When you’re not hiding, then you’re not worried about what people might discover that you didn’t want them to find. Sure, there are still some filters about my vulnerability, but who really needs to know how often I go commando? Truth is, I go commando every day – living my life as vulnerably as possible so that the FEARS of being found out, get dumped.
Must-Do-Tier #3: Reality. Ironically in this day-and-age of reality shows, we’ve become numb to a contrived sense of reality. Hello, just look at the circus in the White House.
However, the reality I’m referring to (even though there is a circus in the White House) is the reality of FEARS. Not all FEARS are real. In fact, most FEARS are bullshit. I’m not trying to diminish what you’re afraid of, so please don’t take it that way. Heck, I’m afraid of heights, and roller coasters. I get it. Those fears of mine, for the most part, aren’t something I should be afraid of unless I put myself in a place to step off a tall building without a parachute or a net to catch me, or if I stupidly get on a rollercoaster without being strapped in.
I’m referring to fears that we create. The ones that come from our past, or catapult us to the future with no real basis of truth. Because something happened in the past doesn’t give the fear power to happen again now. And, hypothesizing that you should be afraid of something in the future just because of the story you’re creating, doesn’t mean you should step out of a “let’s be sane and calm” treaty with yourself because of some future FEAR you think will happen. Live in reality and see how many fears suddenly go by your way-side when the fear isn’t’ grounded in the past or the future.
While my 3 Must-Do-Tiers help me stay sane in the face of FEAR and help me take a healthy fear dump, they may not work for you. That’s ok, you’ll find your own way, provided you focus on the simple formula that Marie Kondo and I have in common.
If it doesn’t spark joy, and it sparks fear, DUMP IT!
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