Many, myself included, love watching true crime shows. They provide a fascinating insight into the human psyche. Pay close attention, and they can also offer some invaluable dating tips.
Don’t Let a Stranger Give You Your Drink
Spiking a drink isn’t always as obvious as someone opening a small vial and dumping powder into the liquid. Sometimes it involves a stranger with excellent sleight of hand and a desire to poison someone. Unless it’s coming directly from a bartender or waiter or you made it yourself, it’s better to forgo the drink.
Listen to Your Intuition
One major dating tip to learn from watching a true crime show is how important it is to listen to your intuition. It’s a powerful thing. If you’re getting a weird vibe from the person or a nagging feeling that something isn’t right, it’s likely your intuition giving you its version of a flashing neon sign you shouldn’t ignore.
Don’t Ignore Red Flags
Red flags are also something you shouldn’t ignore. How many times have you watched a true crime show and easily spotted a person’s major red flags but realized you often put blinders on in real life?
It doesn’t matter how attractive the person is, how much money they have, or how many nice things they do for you. There are certain red flags that should figuratively wave in front of your face like they were in the middle of a hurricane.
Gaslighting, physical abuse, emotional abuse, and not respecting your boundaries are only some of the red flags to watch for. They’re not necessarily going to happen in the early stage of dating. They can come up at any point, including while you’re married.
Know That You Can’t Save Them
There’s a huge difference between trying to save someone and helping someone because they’re actively trying to be and do better. It’s unfortunate, but many times when you try to save someone, they end up dragging you down in the process.
Do Thorough Research
Some people feel that researching someone before a first date is crossing boundaries and that it could inadvertently tarnish the impression you have of them. However, research can be an important tool for finding out if they’re lying, such as if they’re not really who they say they are.
Three of the most important things you want to check for are if they’re catfishing you, if they’re in a relationship with someone else, and if they have a criminal record.
Years ago, I didn’t do my research before going on a date with a guy, and a few dates later I found out he was previously in jail for almost a decade. When I asked him about it, he told me he figured I did my research and already knew. Should he have told me? Yes. Should I have done my own research? Also yes.
Meet in a Public Place
Many of us true crime show fans have watched at least one episode where it started with two people meeting in a private setting and one of them not making it out alive. Always meet in a public place.
Share Information with a Friend
Send information to a trusted friend before any date. If you’re meeting someone for the first time, you should also send your friend the name of the place you’re going, provide your date’s name, and — if applicable — send them a link or screenshot to their dating profile. When you return home, let your friend know you got back safely.
Don’t Give a Person Your Address Too Soon
They might seem like the nicest person in the world, but it’s ideal to wait to give them your address. Keep in mind it’s not about when your date wants to go to your place, it’s about when you feel comfortable sharing that information. Consider it a red flag if they try to push you before you’re ready.
Have Your Date Walk You to the Door
Once you get to a point where you feel comfortable telling your date where you live and they’re dropping you off, make sure they walk you to the door. At the very least, they should watch you walk inside your home. This is particularly important if you have a significant amount of shrubbery outside your home and/or you have a porch where someone could easily hide.
True crime shows make it obvious that you can unfortunately become a victim at any point of knowing someone, whether it’s while the two of you are dating, in a relationship, married, or after you’ve broken up. However, extra precautions are necessary when you’re first getting to know someone. Never think you’re doing too much to protect your peace and safety. If the other person values you, they’ll have no problem respecting your boundaries.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Ivan Torres on Unsplash
