I’ve spent long periods of times with families in the throes of health issues taking major turns. Helping them steer best they can the new normal that life is presenting them. It has all of us involved standing in two worlds, the old normal routines of care and the new normal things care is now requiring. This can include anything from a slight change in status where some adjustments are made, to full drop in health and hiring of professionals. There’s no real way of knowing until I’m in the midst of someone’s life and begin to pinpoint what was working against what will no longer work.
I can spend endless amounts of time pouring through the paperwork, with equal amounts of time in discussion with other professionals all of us working toward a common goal. Yet at the end of the day it’s being immersed in the day to day dynamics that go on in a home that become so telling of a story.
All families have a rhythm they run on. When a care situation enters, this fact doesn’t end, so I’ve learned to pay attention even to the smallest of details. A behavior or communication style that once could easily be ignored, now in the midst of health issues can present a problem. It seems as if with all the stressors and changes continuously going on, the family issues often are exacerbate. This can lead to individuals suffering from frustration, anger and exasperation, as well as feeling overwhelmed.
When I encounter a person who uses walking away to decompress I know this will become a helpful tool as the days ahead become hectic with care. If the walking away is more for avoidance purposes, be it denial or avoidance of conflict, my red flag of experience goes up. If there is a person who is quick to anger who explodes, I will be teaching different tools to then the person who is quick to anger, yet knows how to count to ten, to self regulate.
As time goes on with a family, the “what will no longer work” aspect list is always full of past issues, behaviors and refusals to address something long before any health issue arrived.
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