GOLDFISH SYNDROME
How long is the average attention span of an American? Men and women are guilty. This isn’t one sided. Unfortunately, equality applies. Sorry ladies. Turns out it is shorter than a goldfish. Americans clock an average of 8 seconds compared to the Goldfish 9. Makes sense. I had an Instagram Girlfriend who reinforced short attention spans.
The night of our breakup was memorable. A Girlfriend who professed to love me instantly had Instagram memories to make. Turns out mourning our relationship lasted less than 24 hours.
IG Stories knock shots back like a 12-gauge shot gun.
IG posting backs up a lack of self-awareness on optics.
She was too busy following her heart because women follow their hearts.
A great bible verse on the heart is as follows, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9)
Interesting what the bible says about the human heart.
CONSCIOUS VERSUS HEART
It made me think. Did our breakup matter to her conscious?
What keeps humans in line is our conscious. Another may move your heart, but your conscious is moved only by your mind. The inner voice. The one who speaks to you quietly. None can affect your conscious except you.
She was (and still is) a very beautiful woman. The most beautiful woman I’ve ever been with. She’s the type to scare a man. Studies reveal attention from social media releases dopamine. This is a feel-good chemical. God, forbid you check my ex-girlfriend’s DM. Only a man secure in himself could do that. Maybe that was my problem. I was with a woman who got dopamine hits off her IG posts and DMs…
SELF ASSURING SELF ESTEEM
I am an international best-selling author in six countries of “I Made It Then I Didn’t”. I am not easily intimidated. Most men find me intimidating. I see it when I walk around. Most men will avert their gaze. Some look at the ground if I look in their direction. Men of my caliber exhibit mutual respect when see each other. None try to intimidate the other.
My ex-girlfriend told me many guys were intimidated by her. Extremely beautiful women can have that effect on incomplete guys. Not me.
Any woman who is around me feels my presence. A woman once harassed by thirsty stares finds herself suddenly invisible.
In most cases a man measured up to me is half a man at best. I’m not tooting my own horn. I’m not made for everyone. I made mistakes. Just review my legal situation. There are better men than me. There are not a lot though.
The top 1% means there are millions of others like me. I’m not claiming to lead the top 1%. I’m just part of it.
WHAT FAILURE ACTUALLY IS
Conquering failure is a form of triumph not shame. What we endure defines our ability to transcend reality. A man not tested with failure is a man who knows zero success.
My personal development, financial milestones, fatherhood, faith, and physicality are not perfect for every woman. Most men can’t compete with me in a masculine setting. My masculinity doesn’t have anything to do with relationship application. I’m just explaining why no man registers any form of insecurity in me.
I am confident. I move this way. I speak this way. I act this way. I am not aggressive…I am progressive. This aura deters aggressive males away without insulting them. You would have to be a man to understand.
I’m peer recognized, award issued, and third party verified as an exceptional man. I’m not delusional. I’m not saying what I think about myself. I’m emphasizing what I’ve done. Read my book. You will get it.
I feel sad this woman left me. I am far from depressed. This article is my response. Not partying or getting another woman. This is distracting behavior. Behavior like that reveals immaturity and lack of character.
Rejection is the path to happiness.
WHY THEN THE BREAKUP MR. EXCEPTIONAL?
My breakup trigger was lack of sufficient response. During time with my daughter, I devote undivided attention to her. This means I will marginalize time with important people. If you are accustomed to continual access to me, it abruptly changes.
Often drastically.
I have several reasons for this. The reasons stem from self-esteem building to emotional development. The first man to accept or reject a woman is her father. I take this duty incredibly serious. I make my daughter the center stage of life while she is with me. My daughter must know what it feels like to have a man completely and utterly devoted to her. Otherwise, my daughter will misjudge a future man who intends to marry for her for a future guy who lusts for her.
I offer no apologies for my behavior. None are due.
I explain to everyone my relationship with my daughter. It is easy to nod in agreement. It is difficult to experience firsthand. Especially during summer and holiday breaks.
During these breaks thoughts can wander. They say an idle mind is the devil’s workshop.
GIVE ME SOME MORE CLARITY MR. EXCEPTIONAL I’M NOT BUYING IT
A man must reconcile a beautiful woman will be constantly approached, solicited, and gawked at. A woman cannot remove her beauty which compels her attraction.
Conversely, a woman must reconcile an exceptional man in character, integrity, physicality, and finances will be constantly propositioned for marriage. A man cannot remove his energy which compels his attraction. Unfortunately, a beautiful woman magnifies our attraction.
Most men do not put in the work to be of our caliber.
Our caliber is filled with suffering, sacrifice, hard work and difficult living conditions. We earn everything we are. Our status is not fueled by ego or self-delusion. Men of our status are fueled by pain and suffering. You cannot tell me I am not good enough.
I know exactly what it took to get here. Walk in my shoes. Judge only after you walk my path. If no, you must remain quiet. Realize you are not qualified to judge me.
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US AND YOU LADIES
Women have a lower threshold for attention. A woman born beautiful is often gifted attention intrinsically. Men must work over a long period of time to earn attention. Often decades. We are forged in crucibles of fire. Therefore, when women encounter men of our type we create apprehension.
Men of our type are foreign. We are nothing like the attention showering guys most ladies are accustomed to. Those are weak guys who don’t suffer as we do. This is why guys stare at the ground when we walk by. Pay attention.
Men of my caliber are different. We do not attract a lot of attention from women. Men of my caliber attract desire. If a woman is into having fun, she will ignore us. If a woman is looking for a husband, she will attempt to build a relationship with us.
THE ACTION WHICH INSPIRES BREAKUP TRIGGERS
Ladies, reciprocity to women attention for men is different. Other women actively initiating true friendship with men is the comparable to men asking you out on dates constantly. I know this sounds funny. I’m not talking about “friendzone” stuff either. As a man who can access women easily, I know the difference. Do not insult me with juvenile comments. I am talking about a woman truly trying to add value to a man’s life.
Women do not share resources by nature. Women nature is to forage and collect. Dates often get paid for by the man not the woman.
Women who find exceptional men will offer personal resources to integrate themselves within an exceptional man’s life. This is often offered unsolicited. Wives share their resources with their husbands.
A woman sharing resources with an unmarried man means a lot.
When a woman decides to actively spend her resources on a man this is a huge compliment. This is 10x better than sexual access. The value of this behavior cannot be understated. Some females accept dinner and a movie for sex. The value of sex is quite low compared to this.
Other women know this too.
My breakup trigger stemmed from jealousy surrounding women I permitted in my life. They existed before her. These women continually add real value to my life in professional and social settings. They are nonsexual relationships. These women contribute actual improvement to my wellbeing.
COMPETITION SUCKS I GET IT
These female friends do things which my ex-girlfriend is incapable of doing. This is different than unwilling.
My ex-girlfriend met many of them. She could tell nothing romantically inappropriate was going on. Despite this reality she is no fool. She could tell which of these women would welcome being my wife. I am not a fool either. I wager all of them. Married men and married women should not have opposite sex friends for this reason.
Being a girl friend is different than a fiancé. Being a fiancé is different than a wife. A wife is nothing like a girl friend or a fiancé. Each get their unique privileges.
Don’t be the goldfish who lacks attention span. It was only 31 figurative seconds until you were proposed to (my birthday). A lot would have changed. It was a mere 3 figurative seconds until you were married. Being an avid Instagram User affected your brain’s ability to stay focused. Look it up! Social media is really causing more harm than good.
Being a girlfriend to a man like me is difficult. Until a man proposes to you the privilege of relational exclusivity eludes you. It sucks being in competition constantly. I get it. Just remember one thing. Men are accustomed to it too. I was constantly in competition while I was with you. Everyone from your ex-husband to your IG Followers. How do I know? You told me. I didn’t flip out.
Until you have a ring on your finger (with a couple picture on your main profile picture) you are available. Men are not idiots. Just check what type of messages are sitting in your DMs while we were together.
To Your Knowledge Success!
*
Sources
1) The life of Christopher Knight Lopez a Professional Hustler turned International Best Seller and Published Author of “I Made It Then I Didn’t”.
2) GIS German Institute for the Southwest. “Goldfish Have Longer Attention Spans Than Americans”. Ryssdal, Kai. Feb 11, 2014.
3) Sage Journals. “The Effects of Social Media Usage on Attention, Motivation, and Academic Performance”. Barton, A. Bianca, et al. Volume 22, Issue 1. June 20, 2018.
Enjoy the read? Reward the writer.Beta
Your tip will go to Christopher Lopez through a third-party platform of their choice, letting them know you appreciate their story.
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
—
Photo credit: Souvik Banerjee on Unspalsh