The question of whether they are staying in a relationship because of love or habit comes into most people’s mind at some point in time. Two people in a relationship become comfortable with each other, know each other’s habits, know each other’s guilty pleasures, know each other’s physical needs. They practically know each other inside out. Because of this bond, it becomes difficult to answer this question without a bias.
But what is the hidden truth? Are your feelings fooling you? Are you blinded by the habit of being with your partner? Are you with someone with whom love is a chapter of past life?
The answer to these questions is subjective and there is no right answer for these but truthfully answering the below questions can make things clearer for you.
1. Is your partner doing things for you or they take you for granted?
Every relationship should have a balance of give and take otherwise unbalanced relationship will eventually cause problems in your paradise. Your partner should take initiatives to keep the spark alive. Willingness to do small things such as getting you your favorite chocolate, arranging a date at your favorite place shows that they are not taking you for granted and there is still love between you two.
2. Are you really happy or you are pretending to be happy?
You become so comfortable with this person that you stop realizing whether you are happy or you are lying to yourself. The feelings that you have when you spend time with your partner are the most crucial to understand the difference between love and habit. Does your partner’s presence make you calmer/happier, or you can spend hours with them without even taking?
3. Are you doing all the compromises for your partner?
A compromise may sound not a big deal when you are in a relationship. The relationship works when people understand each other and make some adjustments. The moment you start doing all the compromises, it gives the sign that there is some problem in your relationship. You should truthfully answer to yourself whether you are compromising because you want to do it or you are scared that the moment you stop doing these doing for your partner, there is a possibility that he/she may leave you.
4. Is your partner supporting your dreams, passions, ambitions?
Are you pursuing whatever you wanted to do in your life? If not, then why? Is it because you are not taking any initiative towards your goal, or is it because you are prioritizing your partner over you. Is your partner able to see that you are sacrificing your dreams for him? Is your partner taking any initiative that will take you close to start working towards your goal? These answers will immediately give your clear picture of your current status of the relationship.
5. Who comes first for your partner? Is it you or someone/something else?
If your partner is prioritizing friends, other family members, work over you, then it’s a clear sign that there is some problem between you two. Your partner is trying to find an escape by being with these other people. If you have brought this to attention multiple times, and still there is no change in your partner’s behavior, then it means you are part of an already dead relation.
Whether you are married or in a relationship, it is always important to be happy and rational. Don’t be with someone because you have already spent 15 years together. Don’t be with someone because you have reached a certain age, and there is no point of separation now. Take a decision that is right for you no matter how hard it is because this hard decision today will decide how you are going to spend the rest of your life.
This post was previously published on Medium.com.
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