We live in a time when attention is cheap.
A single photo can get a hundred likes. A casual text can bring endless compliments. For many women, getting attention isn’t the challenge — it’s finding someone real among all the noise.
Traditionally, society told us that men should chase. Be the pursuers. Prove their worth. But is this still fair — or even realistic — in a world where connections are more complex than ever?
Some argue that when everyone gets validation easily — through social media, dating apps, or casual DMs — the people who stand out are the ones who don’t chase the same way. They focus on their lives, they’re selective, and they don’t hand out attention cheaply.
When a man like that appears, should a woman just wait — or is it time to make a move?
A real moment:
There’s a restaurant owner — beautiful, magnetic, and everyone sees it. Every day, she hears the same lines. Men compliment her, try to get her attention, always flirting. Over time, she’s grown numb to it. It doesn’t feel like she’s earning anything real anymore — every man starts to look the same, too predictable, too easy. It makes them feel… less valuable.
One day, a man comes in and talks to her in a different way. No forced charm, no orbiting. He praises the restaurant, talks about the food, asks questions — he connects, but he’s not flirting. It’s genuine.
She notices. She feels it.
And for the first time in a long time, she makes a move. She gives him her number — not because he asked, but because it feels worth it. “In case you want to book a table,” she says with a smile. A small move, but it matters.
Twenty days pass. He reaches out — but not with a cheap compliment or late-night message. He talks about business ideas, ways he could help. It’s still a move — but subtle, layered.
And under the business tone, they both sense: this is more. Two people not chasing desperately — but choosing to meet each other halfway.
Maybe “chasing” isn’t the right word anymore. Maybe real connection today needs both sides to be brave enough to show effort — to choose each other without losing self-respect.
So here’s the question:
Do you think in today’s world, women should make the first move when they truly value someone? Or is the idea of “chasing” outdated altogether?
What do you think? Share your experience and perspective — let’s see how modern attraction really works.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: GlassesShop On Unsplash
