I read this exchange of a new friend between her and a total stranger to her who wanted pictures from her. She’s a model so that’s kind of like walking into a Business and demanding a good or service gratis. She was polite and explained as much to him. He tried to be charming which failed miserably. It escalated and you can guess how it ended. With him calling her everything but a child of God. This was a Text book example EVERY SINGLE WOMAN can relate to a random CIS guy that starts charming, is rejected, acts out. This happens EVERYWHERE. To EVERY WOMAN on line & off. Yes guys, YOUR woman too. Your Mother, Your Sister, Your Nana, your Best friend, Maybe she tells you, maybe she doesn’t but it has happened, it happens currently and more likely than not it will happen again. And it shouldn’t. I’m never offended if women don’t trust me off the bat. Nor do I put women in awkward situations.
I apologize for my gender ladies. It must make you so very weary and distrustful of men and rightfully so. Male Fragility is real. We all have fell victim to it or continue do it, #YesAllMen we benefit from the privilege of CIS Male Supremacist Society. Living this way, treating women like they aren’t whole human beings isn’t “manly” it’s weak man’s idea of strength. I don’t care how many pussies you grab. It makes you an abuser, not macho. Its not a virtue.I am ashamed of men who continue to act in this manner and I call out those out who I see engaging in this kind of behavior. But I’m not an Angel. I acted like random women I encountered owed me something because I found them attractive at one time myself. I know how fucked up we CIS Men can be when we are trying to impress the rest of The Pack. I was like this at one time as we all were #YesAllMen You too Man-Bun. We ALL have presumed upon a woman and made advances that were unwelcome, tiresome and unwanted. We all acted the fool at some time because we felt humiliated. It’s no excuse. We should do better. I feel you ladies. Sadly, I know one day my daughter will join you in being harassed on a daily basis. And at any time, anywhere, it can escalate past irksome, it can lead to violence. You can look up the shocking statistics of Violence against Women and Girls. Myself and other men perpetuate this climate whenever we engage in it or allow it within our sphere of influence.
I’m a Black Man in America. I’m part of an oppressed group but as a CIS Straight Male I share in unearned privileges in this society. Both things can be and are true. I acknowledge I have the CIS Male privilege to not be harassed in a way my Wife or one day sooner than I think, my Daughter will be. Ladies, It takes courage to deal with our Fragile Male Bullshit day in and day out. I applaud you for not giving up on us. You guys sitting there reading this smugly or nodding your head, whether you agree or not, imagine being in ANY woman’s shoes for just one typical day. Sure women are strong they have to be smarter and tougher than any man could to live and thrive in a Patriarchy. It’s not my intention to demean women nor am I assuming all women are victims. But daily harassment and unwanted advancement are serous micro aggressions that WE as CIS Straight Males don’t have to deal with.
Let’s not even get into pay inequity which impacts both men and women or Women’s Health Care decided by men. Imagine if you will, never knowing when some random will interrupt your flow for no reason other than he felt he had the right to speak to you. Think about putting earbuds in your ear or talking on your phone to no one so you can walk in a park or sit on a train undisturbed. Imagine because of the hour strategically thinking which way to walk home after a party. Not dozing on a train or pay particular attention what route the UBER guy is taking or he gets too friendly. Think about ditching any unattended drink. Think about walking down the street and eventually knowing no matter how polite you are the potential exists some random dude who wants to show off or thinks he’s cute will cat call then call you “Stuck Up Cunt” or a “Bitch” Or impede your path, threaten you, or worse.
So. I’m so sorry ladies. All I can do at this point is raise my awareness and learn more from you on practical ways I can be of help. Please assist me in doing so. I can stay woke to the real struggle women face daily so I can do better and raise my young son to be a better man than I was. Keep your heads up ladies. The struggle is real, I know you’re not crazy. I wish for all of you the day when you can wear whatever you want where ever you are without a fuck to give and Men will treat you with due respect. To BE whomever you are whatever your profession and no one presumes “you are asking for it”,. I promise I’ll do whatever I can to help that day come about.
A Man Who Gets It
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