Ladies,
I read this exchange of a new friend between her and a total stranger to her who wanted pictures from her. She’s a model so that’s kind of like walking into a Business and demanding a good or service gratis. She was polite and explained as much to him. He tried to be charming which failed miserably. It escalated and you can guess how it ended. With him calling her everything but a child of God. This was a Text book example EVERY SINGLE WOMAN can relate to a random CIS guy that starts charming, is rejected, acts out. This happens EVERYWHERE. To EVERY WOMAN on line & off. Yes guys, YOUR woman too. Your Mother, Your Sister, Your Nana, your Best friend, Maybe she tells you, maybe she doesn’t but it has happened, it happens currently and more likely than not it will happen again. And it shouldn’t. I’m never offended if women don’t trust me off the bat. Nor do I put women in awkward situations.
I know how fucked up we CIS Men can be when we are trying to impress the rest of The Pack. I was like this at one time as we all were #YesAllMen You too Man-Bun.
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I apologize for my gender ladies. It must make you so very weary and distrustful of men and rightfully so. Male Fragility is real. We all have fell victim to it or continue do it, #YesAllMen we benefit from the privilege of CIS Male Supremacist Society. Living this way, treating women like they aren’t whole human beings isn’t “manly” it’s weak man’s idea of strength. I don’t care how many pussies you grab. It makes you an abuser, not macho. Its not a virtue.I am ashamed of men who continue to act in this manner and I call out those out who I see engaging in this kind of behavior. But I’m not an Angel. I acted like random women I encountered owed me something because I found them attractive at one time myself. I know how fucked up we CIS Men can be when we are trying to impress the rest of The Pack. I was like this at one time as we all were #YesAllMen You too Man-Bun. We ALL have presumed upon a woman and made advances that were unwelcome, tiresome and unwanted. We all acted the fool at some time because we felt humiliated. It’s no excuse. We should do better. I feel you ladies. Sadly, I know one day my daughter will join you in being harassed on a daily basis. And at any time, anywhere, it can escalate past irksome, it can lead to violence. You can look up the shocking statistics of Violence against Women and Girls. Myself and other men perpetuate this climate whenever we engage in it or allow it within our sphere of influence.
I’m a Black Man in America. I’m part of an oppressed group but as a CIS Straight Male I share in unearned privileges in this society. Both things can be and are true. I acknowledge I have the CIS Male privilege to not be harassed in a way my Wife or one day sooner than I think, my Daughter will be. Ladies, It takes courage to deal with our Fragile Male Bullshit day in and day out. I applaud you for not giving up on us. You guys sitting there reading this smugly or nodding your head, whether you agree or not, imagine being in ANY woman’s shoes for just one typical day. Sure women are strong they have to be smarter and tougher than any man could to live and thrive in a Patriarchy. It’s not my intention to demean women nor am I assuming all women are victims. But daily harassment and unwanted advancement are serous micro aggressions that WE as CIS Straight Males don’t have to deal with.
Period.
Let’s not even get into pay inequity which impacts both men and women or Women’s Health Care decided by men. Imagine if you will, never knowing when some random will interrupt your flow for no reason other than he felt he had the right to speak to you. Think about putting earbuds in your ear or talking on your phone to no one so you can walk in a park or sit on a train undisturbed. Imagine because of the hour strategically thinking which way to walk home after a party. Not dozing on a train or pay particular attention what route the UBER guy is taking or he gets too friendly. Think about ditching any unattended drink. Think about walking down the street and eventually knowing no matter how polite you are the potential exists some random dude who wants to show off or thinks he’s cute will cat call then call you “Stuck Up Cunt” or a “Bitch” Or impede your path, threaten you, or worse.
So. I’m so sorry ladies. All I can do at this point is raise my awareness and learn more from you on practical ways I can be of help. Please assist me in doing so. I can stay woke to the real struggle women face daily so I can do better and raise my young son to be a better man than I was. Keep your heads up ladies. The struggle is real, I know you’re not crazy. I wish for all of you the day when you can wear whatever you want where ever you are without a fuck to give and Men will treat you with due respect. To BE whomever you are whatever your profession and no one presumes “you are asking for it”,. I promise I’ll do whatever I can to help that day come about.
Respectfully,
A Man Who Gets It
#stillnotaskingforit #shepersisted
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Photo Credit: Getty Images
I would just humbly beg to point out once again that any reasonable human being is right & justified to balk when someone is saying that they (individually or collectively) have (overtly or tacitly) endorsed something they didn’t endorse, fomented something they didn’t foment, or transgressed where they did not transgress.
Yup. That’s how it is. I wonder if men will listen more to another man saying all this than they do to the women who have been saying this for a very, very, very long time.
This is a follow up piece to
“CIS Male Supremacist Society: It Always Starts With Flowers”
I thought of many titles “The Caucasity of Dopes” was a favorite. But I might save it for a later date. Enjoy.
https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/male-privilege-white-privilege-and-the-social-equality-pie-xela/
I found another parody – I feel it might be parody, but am not sure…. http://thewellesleynews.com/2017/04/12/free-speech-is-not-violated-at-wellesley/ From the Wellesley College student newspaper. A snippet of the parody….. “We have all said problematic claims, the origins of which were ingrained in us by our discriminatory and biased society. Luckily, most of us have been taught by our peers and mentors at Wellesley in a productive way. It is vital that we encourage people to correct and learn from their mistakes rather than berate them for a lack of education they could not control. While it is expected that these lessons will… Read more »
So sick of these pandering, gynocentric, all encompassing posts. Take responsibility for your own actions. Apologizing for people you don’t know, doesn’t dismiss theirs and it makes room for admission of fault in cases where misrepresentation was taken out of context. These over corrections in response to reactions to generally normal human behavior of fumbling over each other is cancerous. It’s one thing for one person to behave this way it’s another when a mob does then we get repeats of the Salem witch trial mentalities.
Rafael: So sick of these pandering, gynocentric, all encompassing posts. >>> That is precisely what this post – and so many others posted here – really are. >>> Rafael: Take responsibility for your own actions. Apologizing for people you don’t know, doesn’t dismiss theirs and it makes room for admission of fault in cases where misrepresentation was taken out of context. >>> Of course. This is just psychological and spiritual common sense. It is one thing to be an ally to a person or group that has gotten a raw deal in one way or another. It is quite another… Read more »
I don’t expect every woman to apologise on behalf of all the entitled women who came up to me (strangers btw) expecting a free drink and then shouted “f*k off then!” at me for not buying her a drink. I don’t expect every woman to apologise for all those entitled women who called my sexuality into question when I rejected her sexual advances, nor for every woman who told me I wasn’t “man enough” for her anyway. I don’t expect every woman to apologise for all those women who demanded I post a picture during the “cock in a sock”… Read more »
Hey, way to go in making something that was not about you in any way, ALL about you! I’m shocked! Shocked, I say, that a man would read this article about WOMEN’S EXPERIENCES and then immediately jump to prattle on and on about how hard it is to be him every day.
Congratulations for completely missing the point.
I’m a woman. I’ve experienced a great many of the things this guy mentions. So all you assholes whinning about “sjws” can f off. We deal with jerks like you and your harassment on a daily basis. I don’t accept the apology, I hold the lot of you responsible. Grow up and stop enabling each other to be such assholes.
Archerq: I don’t accept the apology,
>>>
Good for you.
>>>
Archerq: I hold the lot of you responsible.
>>>
Bad for you.
Damn near everything he’s posted about is commonly done by women to men also. Humans are annoying…..Some are Extra special, Some just believe they are…..Yet all are annoying to someone somewhere, This one enjoys being annoyed.
No, it really doesn’t. But great job making a writing about women’s experiences all about you!
I thought the article was about a man making a blanket apology to women, Wasn’t written by a woman or from a woman’s point of view? was it? So how was it honestly about women’s experiences? Seems more like a special snowflake looking for a cookie.
trey1963: Seems more like a special snowflake looking for a cookie.
>>>
Nailed it.
If men can’t discuss men’s issues on a site that is supposed to be about men’s issues, where can we? Try telling posters on Feministing that they should shut up and let men have supremacy on their site to talk about their issues. Let’s see how far you get, shall we?
Alex is a horrible person. I had the unfortunate experience of meeting him where he made fun of the fact that my mother used to sodomize me with objects. He thinks male victims are a punchline.
I’m sorry to hear about your childhood trauma. My best friend was sexually abused as a child by his mother, too.
As for this guy, what can I say? But with his lopsided misandric views, and his suck up attitude towards women, I wouldn’t be surprised if your account of meeting him was accurate.
I’d say his post adds up to the Idea that He is “willing to Work for his Cookie”?
The work being throwing all other men under the bus. This helps to eliminate competition for his “nookie” cookies. A regular Hugo Schwyzer type.
I’ve heard it mumbled that the 7th and final sign of the apocalypse is when the distinction between satire and truth can no longer be ascertained.
The End is Nigh!
It’s called Poe’s Law, Elissa (I bet you knew that already).
My take is that this “man who gets it” is as serious as a heart attack. No satire here – just addle-brained SJW babbling.
I apologize on behalf of all of the addle-brained SJW’s. :o)
“Imagine if you will, never knowing when some random will interrupt your flow for no reason other than he felt he had the right to speak to you.”
What’s wrong with politely approaching a woman who doesn’t happen to have earbuds in or be talking on the telephone? How is someone supposed to know that that person does or does not want to be approached?
How are men supposed to get into relationships if people keep acting like it’s a bad thing to politely approach women? Or are only supposed to approach women online?
It’s not a bad thing to politely approach a woman, generally. It’s the politely part that is typically lacking (in my experience) when the approach becomes problematic. I do think there are overt signs men and women give when they would prefer not to be approached. Sometimes we all ignore them. (I have nervously prattled on to a seatmate on an airplane despite the book in her hand and the desperate plea for release on her face, for example.) I don’t object to someone approaching me. I object to the type of approach or to the fact that he won’t… Read more »
“I apologize for my gender ladies.”
>>>
Nope.
I don’t apologize for my gender, nor do I expect you to apologize for yours.
I don’t apologize for my race, my creed, my color, my gender preference – nor do I expect you to apologize for yours.
I don’t apologize for being a member of my species – nor do I expect you to either.
The only sentient being I am responsible for is ME – so I will apologize for ME when I violate my own ethical and moral norms.
@Jack
Well said.
Holy crap, we are one seriously f’d up culture, ain’t we?
Agreed.
I’m with you on this one. Well, actually I’m with you on most everything you write/respond.