Anyone who knows me well knows that I am very much an introverted, in-my-own head kind of person. I’m one of those people who actually relishes the solitude of the recent COVID-19 quarantine. So if you told me I would one day be in front of thousands of football fans (and even more from the televised programming) conducting the marching band of a major college I would gawk and laugh.
It’s simply not something that I would do. Until, that is, when I did.
Sometimes life hands out change indiscriminately among the population. It life changing circumstances on unsuspecting individuals. And, for better or for worse, you emerge from that change and new person.
This story is really not about my achievements. It’s about being handed circumstances you never thought would happen to you, taking them by the reigns, and growing from them in the best way you can.
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My current non-online life (in May 2020) revolves around my study towards a degree in Music Education. I am a saxophonist and I love teaching others. I’ve been a band nerd since I was in middle school. But aside from when I’m in front of students, I tend to keep to myself. I have a close knit circle of friends, but am very much happiest when I get to keep to myself.
I am high achieving student, but never one who aims to be the center of attention. My first two years as a member of the band with my college reflected just that: happily doing good work and participating to fullest of my capabilities. I figured no one noticed or even cared, but apparently someone did.
The director (who is now my thesis advisor, close mentor, and good friend) had noticed me. He began hinting and pushing me towards auditioning for leadership. I thought to myself, “What the heck? There’s no reason not to try,” and within a month, found myself being declared the head drum major (the person who conducts, aka waves their arms around in front of, the band) of my college’s marching band.
I was flabbergasted. How did this happen? Did I actually deserve it? What if I messed up? Was I even qualified?
All of these questions, I soon learned, didn’t really matter. My director believed in me. He knew he could teach me. He saw something in me that I didn’t yet see in myself.
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Someone Believes In You, So Believe in Yourself
This is the first major lesson I learned through my experience. Life will do what it wants to and we can only go along for the ride. Sometimes, then, you may find yourself in circumstances that never thought possible. But often, you’re there because someone else wanted you there.
I may be young but if I know one thing, it is that change, while it may seem random, is usually coming from someone who sees the potential in us even when we do not see it ourselves.
So what does that mean? Well it means that we must trust the intuition of others. If someone is willing to go out on a limb for us, the kindest thing we can do in return is to be open to that change and be willing to learn.
As a music major, and the former drum major from my small-scale high school, you would think I would be generally qualified for the position I was put in. But I was terrified by the responsibility of having the trust of 250 college musicians and being the face in front of thousands of people every Saturday night. Our fear fools us into believing that we’re not prepared for the next chapter that life is about to bring. But by trusting those who believe in us, who have an outside perspective on who we are, allows us to beat back that fear and flow into that change as it comes.
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Failure is Average, Recovery is Extraordinary
Now I’m not so bold as to say that I was perfect in this position. I messed up. Both in rehearsal and in performance. It wasn’t often, thanks to the rigor of my mentor and my own drive for excellence, but it happened.
Failures happen to all of us. However, nobody remembers the shortcomings if they’re followed up by recovery. It can be easy to let these get us down but our legacy in whatever role we’re playing at the current time is defined not by a single moment, but by totality of our efforts.
This is to say that we are only defined by our failures for as long as we allow them to be the last word on the matter. Like I noted, failure is normal — by God, you’re doing something new and adapting to great changes in life, of course failure will happen! But what we do after is what matters.
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Give It Your All Because There Is No Reputation to Maintain
Whenever you step into a new role or accept some other great change into your life, you have the great gift of not being subject to past expectations. Certainly everyone has an idea of what the role should look like, but no one knows what you look like. And this is a benefit.
I like to use an elementary school analogy to demonstrate this point. Think about gym class or recess when everyone would be outside playing or running around. There was always that one child who was deemed by the whole class as the “the fastest.” No one could keep up. Perhaps you were this child? I most certainly was not. But day after day, this child would go outside and consistently prove that he was the best. Everyone expected this of him, this was the normal. Then, one day a new student arrives at school. He’s mildly athletic, enjoys playing outside, and knows that at this old he did well on the playground. Does anyone know what to expect from him? Absolutely not. So when he goes outside on his first day and participates in that day’s races, no is expecting him to win. He is not predicated by the reputation of being excellent at running. So, if he were to lose, no one would think anything of it. So tell me then, why would would this child do anything but try his best if he had nothing to lose?
This is what I mean by giving it your all. It is likely in this brand new situation that you are like the new student: you have no previous expectations and nothing to lose. So when change comes, go for it. If anything, people will be floored by your achievement.
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Be Open to New Roles, You Never Know What Will Happen
What I have learned about change is that you never know how it will affect your life. I emerge from the role more confident, trusting, and a harder worker. I gained two close friends and peers, a great mentor, and the respect of dozens of my peers.
All you have to do when life comes knocking is be welcoming to the change that it brings. It may be difficult, you may struggle — lord knows I did all the time — but you will emerge on the other side all the better for it.
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This post was previously published on Change Becomes You and is republished here with permission from the author.
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Photo credit: Jennifer Clary Jacobs of Colorado State University