Just because you are single doesn’t mean “something is wrong with you”. It means that you won’t settle!
It means you do not have to have someone with you in order to live your life well.
I’m so very tired of coaches and love experts boasting about their relationships, as if that means something special about them and more importantly the covert message about why you do not have one.
Secure attachment styles do not need to be in relationships! They can and often do take breaks from dating or getting deeply involved because they are focusing on other areas of their lives. They do not need to prove anything.
We can be happy and content outside a romantic encounter.
The best person to focus on is ourselves and our own happiness and not “wait” around for the perfect mate to show up. Emotional mature people do not jump into another relationship just for the sake of company and sex. We vet our prospects. We wait and pay attention and we leave when we notice it isn’t good or healthy.
The last thing we need is to NEED a relationship! I see people and work with people that settle all the time. I hear it from women mostly.
Well, that is what men do! That’s men for you! He’s changing little by little men tend to grow slowly, it will get better! and those tiny little excuses are the very things that cause us to believe we need someone.
It is just that, an excuse! It keeps us bound to that person by way of the little chains we ourselves just connected.
If we actually look at those tiny chains we’ll see larger issues inside of us. The ones that hold the big decisions. I’m not lovable, I need companionship, I don’t want to be alone.
Secure people attract lots of possible prospects for dating. That is because people are drawn to that sense of security they hold. That doesn’t mean because many are drawn to it, that we can have “our pick”. The reality is many of those “picks” are never going to work with us. They are wanting us to fill that need for healthiness, security and self-love because they do not have it themselves.
Working on a love relationship must start with YOU! Always! The most important love relationship you’ll ever have is the one with yourself!
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