Just Been Dumped? The Top Mistakes You Need to Avoid Post-Split

Breaking up is never easy — for both parties.

The person who had to tell the other person it’s not working anymore and the person who had to hear the words.

You go from being united as a pair, to being alone as an individual.

And as daunting as that may sound before you started the relationship, you were by yourself.

A stand-alone individual.

What you need to do is go back to being in that mind space.

Doing for yourself.

Let’s go through some things you should and shouldn’t do.

Do Not Think About Them Moving On

Don’t come and kill yourself and drown yourself in sadness by thinking about how quickly the other party is moving on.

Although some say this is an indication of how they viewed the relationship, what you need to understand is that everybody is different and people deal with things differently.

Some do not know how to be alone, whereas some people can take time to work on themselves and enjoy their own company.

Do Not Think About the Bad Times

There’s no point sitting there thinking about the bad times in a relationship. You’re no longer in it and it’s not going to bring you any peace thinking about it.

Remembering the good times and understanding that the other party created some happy memories for you will bring you peace.

Do Not Think You Will Never Find Love

I guarantee you that every person who is in a healthy and happy relationship once thought that they would never find love. Look at them now!

Shit happens, people break up. It doesn’t mean that you won’t find a happy relationship.

It means that person was a part of your chapter you learnt from and you will start another chapter with someone else being better than the older version.

Do Focus On Your Feelings

You’re back to being an individual therefore you need to think about your feelings and how you’re going to deal with things.

Think about yourself, not them.

Give the love you had for them, back to yourself.

Do Take Time For Yourself

Breaking up is a process. You will learn how to deal with your feelings and accept the situation.

Give yourself time and space to feel the process, without falling into a pattern of needing someone to fill the void.

Be kind to yourself, especially during the hard days.

Do Things That Make You Happy
Surround yourself with people that you love and that make you happy.

The most stressful thing after a break-up is your brain constantly reminding you of it. You need to distract your brain to the point that you’re drowned by the happy moments that thinking about the breakup brings you a headache.

Make yourself feel good.

The Path to Happiness as an Individual

Breakups teach us how to be happy alone.

This is the best thing you can do for yourself. It will help you with self-development and be ready for a new relationship.

Don’t be that person who brings old traumas and wounds into their new relationship.

You’ll find yourself back at square one.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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From The Good Men Project on Medium

What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean?

My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me

The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence

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