“She’s too picky!”
If you’ve ever gotten rejected by a woman you thought was marriageable and said that line to yourself, then let me introduce you to a little thing called marriage readiness and how you can quickly and sensibly achieve it so that she says yes to you instead.
Truth is women who are ready to settle down look for specific switches in a man’s life. When these switches are turned on they make a strong case for the man as a potential husband and signal to her that he is a viable suitor and his advances are worth considering. Whether women are aware of these or not, these switches play a huge part in their accepting or rejecting men.
The problem with this, however, is that you are being rejected and you just don’t know why or you presume the wrong reason which invariably leads to the wrong behaviour, which does not improve your situation. If you have ever been curious about the psychology of acceptance, rejection, and eligibility, and have pondered this matter even for a measly existential second, then it must have occurred to you that, notwithstanding dashing physical appearance and visible signs of affluence, some guys always get the women they approach, leaving others sputtering and choking in their dust every time.
If you’ve ever pondered how to get the woman you desire or why she rejected you, then the simple answer is that maybe you’re just not marriageable. I say so because there are several constant, undeniable factors that lie at the core of eligibility that women say yes to regardless of good looks, money, and personality that you may not have considered. I call them switches. They are practical and sensible to the marriageability of a man, and work subconsciously to improve a man’s confidence and chances of attracting the marriageable woman he desires.
Truth is, every time I have said no to an otherwise nice guy, it was because he was missing one of five basic elements. I therefore designed this self-check to teach you how to become marriageable. That is, how to know if you are ready for marriage, the reason why you may have been rejected before, what to ask yourself before approaching a woman, and to equip you with the confidence to have the marriage conversation so you can achieve fulfillment in this area of your life. Here are my five (5) switches of marriage readiness that you may have been missing, and how to activate them.
1. Vision Switch
Your vision is your dream or aspiration of what you would like to achieve at a specified point in time. When your vision switch is on it signals to a woman that your life has a clear direction. To activate your vision switch ask yourself: What is my plan for the next 5 years? Can I articulate that plan to a woman?
2. Purpose Switch
Your purpose is the reason for which you were created. When your purpose switch is on it signals to a woman that you have a life and also that you are a responsible citizen and a magnanimous person. To activate your purpose switch ask yourself: Am I living a purposeful life? Do I volunteer time in social service or make a meaningful contribution to my community?
3. Means Switch
“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.” Jane Austen
Means describe financial security that you have acquired as a result of your industry. When your means switch is on it signals to a woman that you are able to provide for her and that she can trust you to do so. To activate your means switch ask yourself: Do I have financial security? If not, do I know how to acquire it?
4. Stability Switch
Stability refers to your state of mental and emotional readiness to make a lifelong commitment to marriage. When your stability switch is on it signals to a woman that you are mature and emotionally healthy and she can trust you with her heart and submit to your leading through the uncertainties of life. To activate your stability switch ask yourself: Am I ready to commit to marriage? How willing and open am I to lifelong growth and learning?
5. Mirror Switch
This works much like a mirror and is the most overlooked switch of all simply because we are usually our biggest blind spot. A mirror allows you to take an accurate reflection of yourself. When your mirror switch is on, it signals to a woman that you are present and self-aware enough to be what you desire to attract, and that you are not in fact over reaching for her. To activate your mirror switch ask yourself: Why should a marriageable woman choose me? From what I know of myself, would I marry me?
Together these five switches constitute the basic mindset a man should have if he has contemplated marriage. When all of these switches are activated, the collective result is increased self-confidence, increased overall attractiveness, and value, better bargaining power, less marketing and selling of yourself (less talk), and of course you will achieve the woman you desire with ease. Your confidence and lifestyle will speak for themselves.
Please note these do not imply a man must be perfect, neither does it delve into the nuances of God given purpose of men at creation or tells you how to find your ultimate purpose. It does not deal with the concept of masculinity, or what constitutes male headship in marriage. All these have been examined and exhausted from every possible angle by renowned relationship experts, prominent Christian ministers, bloggers, men who themselves have achieved such success, and some of my favourite people. Instead, the intent of this is to educate men on what they may be missing if they are being rejected by marriageable women in spite of all that has already been said, to give men a simple and very practical framework for a sound self-check to bring themselves up to par before anyone even notices they were gone; and because as a single woman, I have had to say no to too many otherwise nice guys, who were just lacking some factors that were so basic no wonder they missed them. Between the ‘so basic’ and what has been left unsaid about this topic, I considered that perhaps it must be said differently setting it in better context, and thus I knew this article had to be said.
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