Ladies, Most Guys Won’t Check All Your Boxes

Girls make lists, boys fly by the seat of their pants

I’ve been off the dating apps for over two years. It wasn’t too difficult, I had gone on around 60 dates, and because I’m an extroverted, blabbermouth, I learned something fascinating.

Many of the girls I dated had very strict checklists — from physical attributes, like height and weight, to personality traits, like being obnoxious or rude.

The girls admitted they’d never dated a man who had a list of their own. But if they did, they said, it would likely have only one question, “Are we having sex tonight?”

A list makes sense, conceptually

Making a list is understandable, nobody wants to waste their time investing in a futile relationship.

But here’s the problem. You’re judging us too harshly. Can’t you grade us on a curve, for crying out loud?

A typical woman’s checklist I encountered on numerous dates

The most common question was whether I wanted a relationship or just sex.

The honest answer was sex. But I learned by date number five, that is the incorrect answer. The correct answer must be clear and categorical, “I am looking for a relationship.”

For many of the women whom I dated, admitting all you want is sex, was tantamount to calling them a prostitute.

Yet, some of these “check all the boxes” tests questions were about things for which men have no control, our physical attributes.

Oh, so you only date men over 5′ 10’’, with six-pack abs, a thick head of hair, and the libido of an 18-year-old

For the love of God, stop being so picky.

There, I finally said it.

Forgive me for saying this, but it seems your list oftentimes ends right here at the physical. Since, if you like tall, ripped, golden-haired men, does it really matter if they want a long-term relationship or is rude to the waitress?

Summary

I can’t tell you how many times a date was going really well, then was derailed because I didn’t check all the boxes.

A list makes sense on some level, but ladies, do you think most men are answering honestly when they tell you sex is fun, but they’re really looking for a serious relationship?

I get it, in this day and age of political polarization, and fly-by-night swiping, we want to reduce the chance of too many unwelcome surprises.

But doesn’t true love conquer all?

Can a Trump lady lie down with Biden guy?

Can a Christian love an atheist?

Can a tall woman be attracted to a short man?

Can a cheapskate love a big spender?

I’m certainly not suggesting we fake attraction — it’s typically the threshold for romance.

I am suggesting checklists are largely foolish.

True love will always find a way — no matter how it looks on paper.

So, if you think I’m sexy….let me check your boxes…give me a chance.

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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.

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From The Good Men Project on Medium

What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean?

My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me

The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence

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