Ladies You Were Not Ghosted by Your Guy Because He Was in Another Relationship

ACCOUNTABILITY SCARE

Are you trying to figure out what happened? Do you think the date went great but saw a different result? Are you insecure because your text exchange is 10:1 in his favor?

A certain subset of men are not playing games — they’re busy.

THE REALITY OF PRODUCTIVITY

In a world where everything is instantaneous it’s easy to forget real life requires effort. In a world where anyone can send any message, at any time, it’s easy to forget there are still people who work hard. Men are expected to have stability.

That’s what women are looking for. Stability.

In order to have the resources to afford stability men must earn it. Earning anything takes solid work.

Solid work requires concentration. Concentration requires real effort. Concentration requires undivided attention. People get tired and need rest after prolonged periods of concentration. That’s why these people have schedules.

It’s easy to live by the mantra, “People make time for what they want.”

I agree with it. What we forget is a tangible life requires accountability, effort and time commitment. We want what we cannot have but crucially forget what others have came only through laser focus, sacrifice and focus.

A REAL LIFE SITUATION

My cousin visited me the other day. He showed me a very beautiful woman he previously talked to. She was excited to talk to him. She was responsive. They agreed to an agreed upon date, time and place for their first date. My cousin confirmed the date twice prior to the date but informed her he would need to confirm the day of. Initially, she responded positively and said confirmation the day of was fine.

Throughout their exchange, he was very communicative. He informed her 1) he typically works 10–12 hour days, 2) during work he does not pick up his phone, 3) his work requires both hands (he is a professional barber), and 4) his clients require social interaction — which tends to drain him mentally throughout the day.

I can attest to the fact that after a long day of 14–16 different conversations (about everyone’s daily drama) he doesn’t have bandwidth for another one around 10PM. He still works out at the gym after work (typically from 6 -8PM). Than there is his dinner (typically after a shower) which occurs by 9PM.

So, he is the type to set time for those he wants to have in his life. For me, he will visit me once a week. Typically, on a Sunday or Monday (his off days). If he’s into a girl he will make two date night times available weekly. He will have set times to call and speak.

He’s communicative. Very up front about his life schedule. He believes in setting boundaries. He is still in a building phase (he is not over 40 with amassed wealth and free time) — so any woman who engages with him must recognize his time constraints.

WHAT HER RESPONSES TO HIS BOUNDARIES WERE

This woman didn’t understand what boundaries were. She continuously called him during work hours. She texted him arbitrarily throughout the week. Became upset when he would not get back to her within a few hours. She constantly pushed for reconfirmations of the date throughout the week. The messages where a 10:1 ratio. She would message him ten times a day. He would respond at the end very courteous, explain why he didn’t get back to her sooner and reaffirm he was still looking forward to their date but could only confirm it the day of (in case of client bookings).

Inevitably, they went out. He was a gentleman. She asked to continue the date back at his apartment. He was very up front that she did not have to do anything she didn’t want to. He was perfectly happy to go back home. She insisted. So, he went. They had a good time.

After the date he thanked her for a great night. He told her if he felt like doing this again he would reach out. Five days went by and than…

WHAT A REAL-LIFE FALSE FEMALE NARRATIVE LOOKS LIKE

She messaged him five days later under a complete melt down. She accused him of leading her on. Playing with her heart. Hurting her feelings. Mind you. This all occurred after simply one date. He didn’t say he would never call her back. He told her when he had time he would reach back out.

According to her, he played games by waiting over eight hours to respond to text. He kept her anxious and uncertain through forcing her to wait until the day of to confirm their date. When the date was going well — he apparently just played his role to get what he wanted. The icing on the cake…not reaching out for five days. That non response was the ultimate confirmation.

Once he obtained what he wanted — he discarded her.

THE TRUTH OF ACCOUNTABILITY

That morning he made plans for date number 2. He had a booked dinner reservation. She messaged him prior to his lunch. He was going to send her the reservation during his lunch break.

Instead, he just texted back:

“Sorry you feel that way. I will respect your feelings. Have a great rest of your day.”

Readers. If you do not gain anything from this story, recognize one reality. It is not the job of any person to idolize a person. No one should make another human the center of their universe. No one owes anyone instant responses. People owe each other consideration, respect and empathy.

The only exception to this rule is parents to children (and vice versa). Romantic relationships are not supposed to look like parent child relationships. Her response was both childish and immature.

She chose to pursue the date. She chose to accept his responses. She chose to go out on the date. She chose to have a good time. She chose to invite him back. Not seeing the result you would like after a choice you voluntarily make is no one’s fault but the person who made the choice.

Remember, a person you date is not a boyfriend. A boyfriend is not your fiance. Your fiance is not your husband. There is a difference between your husband telling you I will see you only on Saturdays and a guy you went out on a single date with. If you want better treatment when you offer your body demand more of a commitment before you offer your body.

Accountability hurts.

True irony? Her narrative was completely false. She could have just wrote him an adult message instead of a childish berating. Adult messages look like:

“Hi! I’d love to go out on another date. Haven’t heard from you? Your non response after a good evening has made me feel a little anxious. I know we are still learning each other. If the answer is yes I hope you can address my feelings of unease as I will need some considerations of my feelings if we are going to continue this. Can you please confirm if you’re interested in taking this further? Thank you.”

IN CLOSING

Sign up for free to listen free of charge to my chapter in “Many Paths To Profit” to read about how I look at things. My dynamic form of observing and reframing will help you to accomplish things like what we have discussed in today’s article. I have a free podcast called Hustle Kick as well which teaches you how to hustle for free.

You can pick up a copy of my international best-selling and award winning book, “I Made It Then I Didn’t” as well for a deeper insight on some of the psychology I use to take me through difficult circumstances.

Accountability for our choices is the basic cornerstone to a solid structure as a person. We cannot be anything to anyone if we cannot be something to ourselves. Hold yourself accountable for your own choices. Don’t create narratives to pacify your emotions. Feelings are real but they might not be reality.

To Your Knowledge Success!

Sources

1) The life of Christopher Knight Lopez a Professional Hustler turned International Best Seller and Published Author of “I Made It Then I Didn’t”.

2) As Hyperlinked throughout the article.

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Not a form of investment advice. Please consult a professional registered to give you advice about your individual circumstance. This is not formal counseling or a form of psychology. Please consult a licensed therapist or psychiatrist for psychological concerns. Please do not email the author about advice on investing or strategies on making investments. This article is for educational purposes and entertainment purposes only.

About Christopher: Christopher Knight Lopez is a Professional Hustler turned International Best Seller, Award Winner of the December 2024 prestigious International Impact Book Awards — a premier award program dedicated to celebrating and recognizing the exceptional work of authors around the globe and Published Author of “I Made It Then I Didn’t”. He is also a Co-Author with Kevin “The Shark” Harrington “Many Paths To Profit”. See more at www.christopherklopez.com.