Fam,
October was Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
It is very likely that someone you know is experiencing intimate partner violence (IPV) right now. Also referred to as domestic violence, IPV happens in every city, county, and state; in private homes and public spaces; in churches, hospitals, and educational institutions. It happens to people with disabilities, and people in same-sex relationships; to poor people and those with wealth; to children and the elderly; to people of faith and those without; to pregnant people and people of all genders and gender expressions. And it’s happening in our communities.
What is intimate partner violence?
Intimate Partner Violence (also referred to as domestic violence, dating abuse, or relationship abuse) is a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship. That includes behaviors that physically harm, intimidate, manipulate or control a partner, or otherwise force them to behave in ways they don’t want to, including through physical violence, threats, emotional abuse, or financial control. Multiple forms of abuse are usually present at the same time in abusive situations, and it’s essential to understand how these behaviors interact so you know what to look for.
On average nationally, 25% of women and 10% of men across all races have experienced intimate partner physical violence, intimate partner sexual violence, and/or intimate partner stalking in their lifetimes. But for Black people, those numbers jump to:
- 45% of Black women
- 40% of Black men
- 54% of Black trans folks
The pandemic has made IPV more common—and often, more severe. Isolation allows abusers to act with impunity, and COVID-19 regulations make it more challenging for survivors to find places to go for refuge. Globally, due to lockdowns and economic hardship, incidents of IPV increased 300%.
The criminal-legal system is not the answer.
The criminal-legal system does not stop, deter, or lower rates of IPV. Instead, it worsens them.
Black women, Black trans women, non-binary, intersex, and disabled survivors who defend themselves against their abusers must also often defend themselves against a criminal-legal system that punishes them for surviving gender violence.
In 2010, Marissa Alexander, a mother of three from Jacksonville, FL, was arrested and charged with three counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon for firing a warning shot while being violently attacked by her abusive estranged husband. She is just one of thousands criminalized for surviving gender violence.
What does the future look like?
Many in our communities are having a conversation about how we hold those who have committed acts of violence accountable. Accountability—the practice of taking responsibility for one’s choices and the consequences of those choices—is a central feature in movement-building and mirrors our demands for a morally just and dignified world. Accountability is one step, followed by restorative and then transformative justice—practices to repair harm without creating more harm. Ultimately, though, the goal is to abolish IPV entirely.
As we advocate for alternatives to policing and law enforcement toward an abolitionist society, we must center the problem of IPV when imagining our futures. So, the question we are exploring today and every day is: How do we both stop intimate partner violence and decriminalize it at the same time?
What do we do next?
We know raising awareness isn’t enough. We need people to make real, measurable change toward significantly reducing and ultimately abolishing IPV in our communities. Here are a few ways we can do that:
- Find resources about decriminalizing survival at Survived and Punished.
- Demand investment in community-based resources for assistance, support, and safe shelters, especially for women, transgender, and gender-nonconforming folks.
- Demand funding for the programs we need to avoid, escape, and heal from IPV. These include safe, accessible, and affirming housing; health care; child and elder care; income support; and living-wage employment.
- Call on your members of Congress and demand they pass the Violence Against Women Act. It’s imperfect, but it’s legislation that can help people now.
- Fight for abortion rights in every state. The ability for birthing people to get an abortion can mean the ability to leave an abusive partner for good. Abortion is basic health care.
- Start conversations in your community about non-carceral interventions to IPV that center survivors and create meaningful avenues for transformation for people who commit acts of violence.
If you or someone you know is experiencing any form of intimate partner violence, there is help available to you. Call 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788 for support. You can learn more at https://www.thehotline.org/.
In love and solidarity,
Movement for Black Lives
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