Love Can Be Right If You Accept Another Being Wrong

NO AGREEMENT REQUIRED

I listened to her speak her mind. I watched her motions envigored throughout her body. I thought, ‘She can’t stand being interrupted’ & ‘She needs to get her words out.” I blinked softly as her words intensified. Her voice became more commanding. After she was done, she looked at me, “So do you agree with me or not?” I took a sip of my coffee. “No, I don’t. I know its important you get your point across, so I didn’t interrupt.” She looked at me. She smiled. She went on about her day and gave me a hug before she left.

LISTENING TO UNDERSTAND

Most people listen to respond. We all have our opinions. The majority cannot wait for their moment to interject their thoughts on a topic. It is always great to get dialogue. The difference in opinions shows us different perspectives, unique views and vantage points otherwise unseen.

Other views can be a great learning tool regardless of their eccentricity. Even a homeless person can offer you a tad bit of wisdom if you’re willing to listen.

We are all experts at something. Even if the expertise is a bad choice.

Unfortunately, relationship disagreements often take the form of argument. One person desires to show another their way is better. The other person desires to hold on to their ideas. The banter of disagreement turns to offense and escalates when there is clear error. In this time proven, historical cliché bound to repeat love gets extinguished.

To practice the virtue of patience all one needs to remember are these timeless words, “Constantly remind yourself that all that happens now has happened before, and will happen again…Same dramas, different actors.” (2)

RESPECT DOES NOT REQUIRE AGREEMENT

It’s hard to be objective during subjective emotional swings but if one has respect for another, it is easy to allow someone to finish their sentence. Respect is the foundation of all good relationships. When you respect anything — you treat the thing properly. Whether it be a car, a house, a dog or a person — all things require proper treatment.

If you mistreat any item it will break, erode or deteriorate. This is true no matter how you feel about it. No one should be so foolish to treat things better than people. For a thing can feel nothing for you but a person can feel something for you. Unfortunately, we see that often.

“When you wake up ask yourself if it really matters if someone else judges your actions to be good or right. You’ll find often it makes no difference.” (2)

It is possible for two people to disagree and live in complete harmony with each other. Developing patience to understand if a point requires agreement is an example of discernment. It is foolish to end a relationship over an issue which has no affect on your ability to love one another. We can always respect a spouse’s choice to maintain a point we disagree on if it has no effect on the relationship.

How It Illustrates:

Present Situation Inquiry — A spouse needs their space without interruption early in the morning. The spouse doesn’t like to be interrupted when they wake up and have private time. It made the negatively affected spouse sad because the negatively affected spouse doesn’t feel like a priority. The negatively affected spouse wants to start their day off by saying goodbye before they go to work — not being ignored. The negatively affected spouse informed me they feel like they are losing the relationship spark and romance is waning. The negatively affected spouse fears she is being taken for granted.

Present Recommendation — The negatively affected spouse had a fully functional life before their spouse in the AM. The negatively affected spouse rarely had any longing to wish someone good morning / love you prior to marriage. It was during the day the negatively affected spouse despaired about going home to no one, having no one to encourage them when they were down, and feeling scared at night when random sounds kept them up. Now the negatively affected spouse has someone for all their actual worries. I recommended to the negatively affected spouse they simply ask their spouse to leave a morning note saying some nice words of encouragement. The spouse did it and has done it every night for the past 2 weeks. Now both get along fine. It had nothing to do with imaginary fears nor was it them losing the spark.

What This Response Does:

· It increases your virtue. We can choose any virtue we want within the context of a situation. There will always be unique virtues to practice in situations. In this context, you develop patience. A patient person can develop a subsequent trait of discernment — an invaluable tool of knowing the difference between what things appear to be vs. what they actually are.

· It increases Cooperation. Learning to cooperate is an important element of a successful marriage. Uncooperative people often do not last in any team sport (marriage is a two-person team for those who don’t know that). Anything worth something requires effort, work and diligence. Cooperation requires these elements. Uncooperative people lack effort, work and diligence in a team environment. That’s typically why they get cut (or in this case divorced).

Three Ways To Strengthen Patience (Use Them)

1. Ask Yourself What Can You Learn. Look for tangible lessons during disagreements. Ask yourself if you are learning about your partner’s genuine differences. People are wildly different and despite these differences are expected to build a life together. Stop trying to teach someone how to be you. You are not marrying yourself — that is literally narcissistic. You must learn how differences complement one another successfully.

2. Become Curious Not Angry. When you are patient, it allows understanding. Understanding is a sign of curiosity. Shouldn’t you be curious about someone you love? If you are not curious about your person — you might not love the person if you have no curiosity. Just saying. I think if we are honest, everyone is curious about things they love.

3. Meditate. Meditation teaches you to focus on the present. Given nothing is really happening you must be patient. Meditation builds your patience meter. You can meditate with your eyes open if eyes closed is difficult. Stare at a flame and watch it. If possible close your eyes play no word music (instrumentals) and focus on the sound of music.

The Value of This Philosophy

· This allows you to challenge possible misconception and reinforces positive assumptions over negative assumptions. (3)

· Patience delays reaction which reduces stress and makes you feel more relaxed. (4)

· You will instantly reduce cortisol levels. Very important in destressing. (5)

IN CLOSING

I do not wish my personal circumstances on anyone. It is for this reason that now I am the ultimate authority on what not to do. My much-anticipated new book “Turning Indictments To Dollars” talks about how to avoid the pitfalls I suffered. If you are accused of something you know you didn’t do — this book will offer you the path which grants you success. Trust me you will want to Sign up for free during the pre-release period to take advantage of unique $0.99 pricing on launch.

Sign up for free to listen free of charge to my chapter in “Many Paths To Profit”. You can pick up a copy of my international best-selling and award winning book, “I Made It Then I Didn’t” as well for a deeper insight.

The concept I teach in this article is free. Some of my personal stories are not free of charge as everything costs something. The techniques I discuss in this article I use. The purpose of reading this is to help people with cooperation an essential ability to successful marriage.

If you are feeling the need to be right in an argument, it’s critical you read this. Read above to discover deep philosophical truths and tools you can apply today. One couple helped is enough for this article to be worth its time invested.

To Your Knowledge Success!

Sources

1) The life of Christopher Knight Lopez a Professional Hustler turned International Best Seller and Published Author of “I Made It Then I Didn’t”.

2) Marcus Aurelius. Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. The New Translation By Del Ray Kochon. Decameron Books. ISBN 978–1–936767–79–3

3) Work Learning Research. “The Learning Benefits of Questions”. Will Thalheimer PhD. 2003–2014. Somerville, MA USA.

4) Rosenfeld RS, Hellman L, Roffwarg H, Weitzman ED, Fukushima DK, Gallagher TF: Dehydroisoandrosterone is secreted episodically and synchronously with cortisol by normal man. J Clin Endocrinol Metab 1971; 33:87–92

5) Wanpen Turakitwanakan, et al. “Effects of mindfulness meditation on serum cortisol of medical students”. K Med Assoc Thai. 2013 Jan:96 Suppl 1:S90–5.

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Not a form of investment advice. Please consult a professional registered to give you advice about your individual circumstance. This article is for educational purposes and entertainment purposes only. Please do not email the author about advice on investing or strategies on making investments. Certain elements of this narrative may have been fictionalized to convey message points. This is a work of artistic expression not a narrative of fact. Strictly for entertainment and informational purposes only.

About Christopher: Christopher Knight Lopez is a Professional Hustler turned International Best Seller, Award Winner of the December 2024 prestigious International Impact Book Awards — a premier award program dedicated to celebrating and recognizing the exceptional work of authors around the globe and Published Author of “I Made It Then I Didn’t”. He is also a Co-Author with Kevin “The Shark” Harrington “Many Paths To Profit”. See more at www.christopherklopez.com.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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