Love is a massive part of my being and, I am grateful to my mom, who taught me what it is to love another person unconditionally.
Sometimes this is tongue in cheek, and other times it is their fallacy to change another person.
I have lost friendships because of something I did or did not do for another person. That one change in dynamic can end a relationship solely. Additionally, I have friendships that have lasted for more than 40 years, free of conditions and expectations.
We have a model for unconditional love when we have pets in our homes. Dogs and even some cats are good examples of loving us despite our faults. They accept us as we are and, in turn, love us unconditionally.
LOVE is a set of actions that we share with another person.
LOVE is:
Listening-Being present with another person and listening to understand and empathize versus responding to them.
Observing-Paying attention to other people and looking for the things that make them uniquely themselves.
Vulnerability-Opening up about things that are deep and meaningful with people who are there to accept us.
Enthusiasm-Finding joy in our life experiences with others and expressing it freely.
My mom showed me from an early age what it was to love someone unconditionally. I remember numerous ways MOM modeled unconditional love for me, and these are only three of the most memorable ones.
1. My parents were divorced when I was 11-years old; my whole world crashed around me as I experienced them falling out of love. As a young boy, it shook me at my core to see them remove each other from their lives. My mom was intentional about making sure that I knew that she still loved me and that nothing would change that; I can’t say the same thing about my experience with my dad then or now. My mom knew the importance of loving someone through a traumatic life experience, and I benefited from her compassion.
2. My mom was there for me when I came out as a gay man when I was 20-years old. She was accepting and made sure that I knew that nothing changed in her love for me because I told her that I was gay. She was my first and fiercest ally for more than 42 years. My dad contrasted her unconditional love with his rejecting behaviors that have kept us distant for most of my adult life. I did not meet the expectations he had of me as his son, and as a result, I have lived with the consequences.
3. My second relationship ended abruptly and in some ways cruelly when I was 49-years old. I experienced symptoms of depression like never before as a result of the ending of that relationship. It was a painful process to live through, and I am convinced that my frequent pep talks with my mom supported me in safely coming out on the other side. My mom was always willing to go to the deep places in our conversations, and it seemed to be precisely what I needed to hear at the moment. She loved me through it without judgment.
Now that my mom is no longer a phone call away or at the end of a flight for a visit, I have a more profound realization of the unique gifts she shared with me for the 62.5 years we lived with each other.
How mindful are you of the gifts that your loved ones have shared with you?
How have those gifts impacted how you live and love those in your life?
How can you share those gifts with others making your impact on those you love?
I invite you to live in the moment and realize that when you are nudged to do something for someone, it might just be a chance for you to share your unconditional love with them.
Your world and the world around you are changed by expressing unconditional love.
With much gratitude.
—
This post is republished on Medium.
—
Images courtesy of author
