Love Made Me Do It

I have always been fascinated by horoscopes, tarot and astrology. Like most people, I like reading my horoscope every time I get a hold of a newspaper or a magazine.

I wouldn’t say I’m a die-hard spiritual person. However, when I go through a rough patch, I tend to turn to fortune tellers. Classic eh?!

For instance, when I was going through my first ever break up I turned to horoscopes. I was reading mine and HIS horoscope every day from multiple sources. It was bad. Like really, really bad.

I was desperate to find out what was next. Is he coming back? How compatible are we long-term? Should I forgive him? I was driving myself to insanity.

Luckily my addiction to horoscope died down. I’ve learned to cope with life without needing to know or predict what’s going to happen.

Or so I thought…

Fast forward to 2022. I had everything figured out. A career, a blossoming and loving relationship and a beautiful home. Then in a blink of an eye, it was all gone like a rug pulled from beneath you.

My addiction to wanting to know more and what the future holds resurfaced. This time, it was with psychic readings, tarot readings and any form of spiritual guidance. It became dangerous. Like a coke head needing the daily fix.

I spent a fortune (thousands!) on buying hours of reading with psychics that I was banned by one website from receiving any more services from them.

I don’t blame them. I abused the service and abused my bank account. I was fucked.

As if that wasn’t enough to teach me the lesson. Like the resourceful person that I am, I searched far and wide on how I can have my ‘fix’.

I found tarot readers on Youtube. I thought what the hell, it’s free. I’m not harming myself.

Or so I thought…

I spent the following days, weeks, and months watching every tarot readings out there for my star sign. I was hook(ed), line and sinker.

There was a month when all I did was watched endless videos on Youtube. The addiction was getting out of hand and it really affected me mentally. A small task of meeting up with a friend, I couldn’t do in case it wasn’t part of my “path”. Paranoia came out and joined this awful party too.

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I was harming myself mentally by continuing to search for answers, being in denial and not accepting what was.

…

Love can make or break us. In this case, love made me do stupid things. To say I was crazy in love was an understatement.

I lost myself in the process of wanting to know the reason why the person I gave my all to no longer wanted me.

Thank goodness for counselling. It saved my life. Without it, I would have completely lost control over my life.

I had to turn the crazy love that I had for someone else into self-love.

From this experience, I’ve learned the following:

Avoid tarot readings when you are emotional and in a vulnerable state.
Don’t overdo it! Tarot readings cannot tell you what will actually happen with your life. You can use it for guidance but remember you have free will.
Life is not dictated by tarot readings, astrology or horoscopes.
Tarot readings especially on Youtube are for entertainment purposes only. They are not medical professionals. If you are going to go for a tarot reading, use your own discernment.
Support from counselling or other professional advice can help you go through tough times like breakups.

Thank you 🤗 You’re already here so why not leave us a few 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 . If you really want to hear more, feel free to follow me for some more or simply say hello in the comments, I’d love to connect with you. 🤗

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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