As men’s roles have evolved, have their relationship with money changed too?
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Men and money have been traditionally–and intimately–connected through history.
It’s been a man’s role to make the money, even if it wasn’t true.
It has been the man’s role to be the breadwinner. He was responsible for bringing home the bacon. Traditionally, it’s been the man’s role to make the money that could support his family.
All of that is evolving, of course.
But should it?
Only a few months ago, my girlfriend and I took a day off to visit a museum.
We do that when we can. She’s studying to be a historian, and I’m studying how to be a good boyfriend. I think I’m passing, but I’m not the one administering the grade.
I got to pick which museum we visited that day, and I chose one that I hadn’t visited since I was in elementary school: The Harry S. Truman Library in Independence, Missouri. My grandmother worked with Truman on some humanitarian projects long ago. She’s got nothing but fond memories of the man, and that rubbed off on me.
My girlfriend agreed that I had reached my daily quota of one good choice per day, so we packed up and headed to the Truman Library. We saw many interesting things about the atomic bomb, the Korean War, the Cold War, and the Red Scare. All fascinating, but, oddly, those weren’t the exhibits that stood out to us.
There was one particular section of the museum that really stopped us in our tracks.
We were looking at pictures of women lined up to get meat from the grocery store.
Immediately following World War II, there was a recession. A government-controlled recession, to be more accurate. It was a way to protect against wild fluctuations in the US dollar (if I remember correctly). The immediate aftermath of WWII was an interesting time for women.
While the boys were away at war, many women were put to work in jobs traditionally manned by, well, men. These jobs included labor in factories and shipyards. You may remember Rosie the Riveter flexing her biceps. She was–and still is–an icon for women with her red bandanna atop her confident stare.
There was a glimmer of hope for the women looking for that type of freedom from traditional roles.
But that changed.
At the end of the war, many women were sent right back to where they were before the war started. For many, that meant standing in a line waiting for meat.
She and I had seen those grainy images before.
Here’s my point: our roles have evolved beyond traditional roles, but that doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy the traditional roles.
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I had studied marketing in college, so I was familiar with black and white commercials from the 1940s and 1950s. You know the ones! The man comes home wearing a suit and tie. His wife was “appropriately” in the kitchen, almost always wearing a flowered dress and an apron.
Husband sits down at the table. He’s tired because he’s been working all day. Duh!
Wife is full of glee to see him. She rushes to tend to him.
Then she tends to him.
I remember watching the infamous Folger’s instant coffee campaign in one of my classes. Here’s how each commercial usually played out.
The husband wants a nice cup of coffee. He slams his wife for not being able to make it as good as other girls. The wife feels horrible that she can’t make a good enough cup for her hardworking husband. Another woman introduces her to Folger’s instant coffee. Then her husband is happy.
No instant coffee is that tasty.
My feminist girlfriend makes me coffee all the time.
Because that’s what couples do.
I also make her coffee, because that’s what couples do.
With that said, I’m the one most likely to drink instant coffee! But that’s besides the point.
Don’t miss my point. Here’s my point: our roles have evolved beyond traditional roles, but that doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy the traditional roles.
She loves to feed me. To feed me, she cooks for me. That’s a traditional role for women. But she loves prepping food just as much as she loves feeding me.
I love to have new experiences with her. To have new experiences, I pay for them. That’s a traditional role for men. But I love making the money to pay for them almost as much as I love those experiences with her. (See what I did there?)
Is making money a man’s job?
Yes, if that’s his role.
It’s our job to fulfill our role. If we have multiple roles, then we also have multiple jobs.
If making money is not his role, then it’s not his job either. These roles are unique to each couple. We aren’t forced to abide by the traditional standards as much as past generations had to. We’ve now got more freedom to choose our roles.
To be clear, this isn’t an excuse to not make money if, indeed, making money is your role.
Actually, this is a reason to find how to best contribute to those who you care for most.
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Photo: Flickr/Jose Carlos Cortizo Perez
i like this article good shit man
I don’t see how the majority of men can make money in their jobs when their bosses have refused to give them raise, cut back on full-time permanent jobs, send the jobs overseas, or import foreign workers to replace them?