Matching Text Energy is the Cheat Code

Have you ever wondered if you are texting someone too much or too often?

When you are super in your head about it, you ask a friend or group chat for help. It’s not the right call.

Everybody’s experience is novel.

They will ask for context. Your friends will share their “One time I.” stories. Now you’re in your head and managing several chats with different people. Not great.

Let me hand you a cheat code.

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#1. Business only

Some people don’t use their phones much. Why?

It is used for the singular purpose of planning. You don’t have to learn about your partner over the phone. So, if all they want to do is plan logistics, let them. Match their energy and save your talking points for the date to have an active conversation.

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#2. Honor your feelings.

Hour-long waits to get a reply are not great. It is understandable if it’s not for the sake of games. But days? No. Respect your feelings and tell the person to continue enjoying their life without you.

If someone cannot spare a second, they care more for their needs than yours. Think about yourself, your pride, and your self-respect, too.

Being the one to say goodbye and walk away is like no other feeling. You have power over how relationships progress and end. Use it. If this behavior doesn’t come naturally to you, match someone’s energy.

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#3. Pace yourself

How much is too much to send when excited?

It is best to send as many messages as you receive. You don’t want to over share or overwhelm the person on the other side of the phone.

They aren’t sending as many texts as you. But if the responses are prompt, you can go two to one with your replies. Three seems a bit much to me.

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#4. Show you’re listening.

People love to use voice notes and messages to trap others in lies and negative situations. Keep your intentions positive. Show you have read and understand your partner’s views. Use their words and phrases in your replies.

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#5. Rookie mistake

Don’t begin the date via online apps. People will tell you their entire life stories over calls and texts. Then wonder why they have nothing to say when their crush sits across from them.

Digital contact is for arranging meetings. Only use it to share personal details if you are in a long-distance relationship. It is a conversation, not an interrogation. Ask questions. But every now and again, make a statement.

Statements can carry an interaction. It is more challenging, though. Don’t let ease make you an interviewer.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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