Guys, don’t you deserve to be swept off your feet?
I remember the first time I saw Christopher Reeve as Superman. I was young, but he was my mom’s favorite. She would feign a swoon every time he came on the screen. Those dimples! That chin! He really did make an awesome Man of Steel, always swooping in to help the damsel in distress.
Whether it’s in pop culture, folklore, or on the nightly news, a hero is marked by his or her ability and willingness to protect and save women and children. Spiderman swings across the city with Mary Jane in his arms. She’s terrified, but eventually relaxes into his powerful partially-arachnid arms. Cops, firefighters, and life guards and generally considered the sexiest men around. Why? Because they’re always saving people! Being a hero is the ultimate sign of male goodness, right?
But what about when guys need saving? Because guess what, they do sometimes. And we – the people who love them – are the ones for the job. When I read this list by James M. Sama on how men can be a woman’s real-life superhero, I was reminded of all the ways those of us who love guys can be superheroes to men, too. Here are seven of those ways:
1. We will make you feel safe.
Guys, society has about a hundred different ways it teaches you not to cry, starting when you’re babies. “What a big strong boy!” people declared when they saw your drooling smile. “Brush it off, son” they told you when you skinned your knee. “Just punch him in the nose,” someone recommended when they find out you were being bullied in school.
But sometimes you don’t feel big and strong. Sometimes you can’t brush it off, and punching someone in the nose probably led to a bigger fight and maybe a suspension. Sometimes, what you need is your own personal superhero. Someone with heroic listening skills, strong arms and a compassionate heart.
If the person you love most isn’t there to hold you when you cry, they’re not worth your time. Because you deserve a sounding board and safe place to share your hurts.
2. We’ll be there when you need us.
A superhero is always swooping in at the opportune moment to grab the damsel in distress and whisk her away from the bad guy.
Well, we should be doing that for you, too. Okay, maybe we can’t punch through brick walls (or possibly even sheet rock), but we can watch your face across a party and put ourselves in the line of fire with your pushy aunt or obnoxious coworker when you’re really starting to sweat. Give us the signal (double eyebrows up or maybe a wink combined with straightening your tie?) and we’ll come in out of nowhere and whisk you way somewhere better… preferably the bar.
And when it comes to funerals, the loss of your job, or even just doing gross chores at home, your superhero partner should be by your side when we can, helping you survive the worst.
3. We will make you feel like a superhero, too.
Heroic partners never talk bad about our guys. You aren’t the butt of our jokes or our ol’ ball-and-chain. Sure, we may need to vent to our closest friends sometimes (so do you!), but what we really want is for our friends to see you as the great guy you are. And we will never, ever humiliate you or make you feel unworthy.
4. We will save your life when you’re in danger.
Because guess what? We’re firefighters, lifeguards and cops, too!
I once watched a lifeguard (who happened to be a woman) run into the ocean and pull one man and two children out of a rip tide. She got them onto the beach, then swam out to pull in two more men who were being carried out to sea. Total lives saved that afternoon: 5.
Not all of us are going to be as strong and heroic as a first responder, but know that we will do everything we can to save your life if the need arises. We can tie a tourniquet, perform CPR and more. Keeping one another safe isn’t just on you, you know.
5. We will pick up the check.
Of course we will! Why should you always pay? If I ask you out, I’m going to pay. If we’re dining together often, I’m going to do my best to pay half time time. Why? Because I can, and because we both deserve to be taken care of sometimes.
On that note, I’ll also get the door for you. Because I’m helpful like that, and I’m capable of opening a door. In fact, I’ve been opening doors my whole life. Got an arm full of groceries, suitcases, babies, puppies, gift-wrapped boxes of Jimmy Choo shoes (for me?), a chainsaw and a nail gun, potted plants or anything else? Let me get that for you. In fact, I’ll probably do it sometimes for no reason at all. That’s just the kind of person I am. Your superhero partner likes to help.
6. We won’t expect less of you than we do of ourselves.
No matter what anybody tries to tell you, guys are not inherently jerks, brutes, or sex-crazed maniacs. You don’t all lie, you aren’t all cheats and you’re not more of an animal than we are. Because of that, we’re going to hold you to a high standard, and not want you in our lives if you are a jerk, a brute, act like an animal or a sex-crazed maniac (separate, of course, from being a sexy and sexual person, which is awesome).
Expecting a lot from you is a great thing. After all, doesn’t a superhero deserve a partner who treats them well?
7. We will be inspiring.
Your own personal superhero should be a person you look up to. Don’t waste your time on somebody who emotionally exhausts you or treats you like crap. Choose someone who makes you feel like anything is possible – for both of you.
We will do our best to be someone you admire, whether it’s by kicking ass at work, diving into a hobby, or being a great parent, a superhero partner wants to be someone you can look to for inspiration.
Superhero behavior isn’t reserved just for guys, and that’s a great thing. That means sometimes you get to be rescued, too.
RSVP for Love Sex Etc. Calls
What’s Next? Talk with others. Take action.
We are proud of our SOCIAL INTEREST GROUPS—WEEKLY PHONE CALLS to discuss, gain insights, build communities— and help solve some of the most difficult challenges the world has today. Calls are for Members Only (although you can join the first call for free). Not yet a member of The Good Men Project? Join now!
Join The Good Men Project Community
All levels get to view The Good Men Project site AD-FREE. The $50 Platinum Level is an ALL-ACCESS PASS—join as many groups and classes as you want for the entire year. The $25 Gold Level gives you access to any ONE Social Interest Group and ONE Class–and other benefits listed below the form. Or…for $12, join as a Bronze Member and support our mission, and have a great ad-free viewing experience.
Register New Account
Please note: If you are already a writer/contributor at The Good Men Project, log in here before registering. (Request new password if needed).
ANNUAL PLATINUM membership ($50 per year) includes:
1. AN ALL ACCESS PASS — Join ANY and ALL of our weekly calls, Social Interest Groups, classes, workshops and private Facebook groups. We have at least one group phone call or online class every day of the week.
2. See the website with no ads when logged in!
3. MEMBER commenting badge.
ANNUAL GOLD membership ($25 per year) includes all the benefits above — but only ONE Weekly Social Interest Group and ONE class.
ANNUAL BRONZE membership ($12 per year) is great if you are not ready to join the full conversation but want to support our mission anyway. You’ll still get a BRONZE commenting badge, and you can pop into any of our weekly Friday Calls with the Publisher when you have time. This is for people who believe—like we do—that this conversation about men and changing roles and goodness in the 21st century is one of the most important conversations you can have today.
We have pioneered the largest worldwide conversation about what it means to be a good man in the 21st century. Your support of our work is inspiring and invaluable.
“Here’s the thing about The Good Men Project. We are trying to create big, sweeping, societal changes—–overturn stereotypes, eliminate racism, sexism, homophobia, be a positive force for good for things like education reform and the environment. And we’re also giving individuals the tools they need to make individual change—-with their own relationships, with the way they parent, with their ability to be more conscious, more mindful, and more insightful. For some people, that could get overwhelming. But for those of us here at The Good Men Project, it is not overwhelming. It is simply something we do—–every day. We do it with teamwork, with compassion, with an understanding of systems and how they work, and with shared insights from a diversity of viewpoints.” —– Lisa Hickey, Publisher of The Good Men Project and CEO of Good Men Media Inc.