For years I believed that men loved strippers and prostitutes and all kinds of seductresses in-between because those women were easy and essentially uncomplicated.
But coaching men has opened my eyes to see men and their sexual choices in a much different light – one that I feel every woman should consider, if she has an interest in loving a man and having a beautiful, fulfilling sex life.
Men love seductive women for one very specific and powerful reason.
Seductresses make men feel desired.
Many men are terrified of being rejected by a woman – even their wives. It’s up there with dropping off a cliff or being mauled by a shark.
Seductresses actually like the attention of men.
They go out of their way to express acceptance of men. They hold a “court” that is rejection-free and invite the masculine to play.
A Seductress, in her openness and unguarded body language, invites a man to exercise his prowess. Where so many men feel caged around women, being in the space of a confident, seductive woman is an invitation to be sexual – without apology. This is true whether a man is married for 20 years, or single and on the prowl.
While most women would want to be freer sexually (and invite their inner seductresses to play) many have been made wrong for their natural juiciness, or have been hit on by men who lacked integrity — so being sensually available feels risky.
At the same time, men are often made wrong for enjoying and celebrating a woman’s body and pleasure, so instead of expressing appreciation out loud or learning how seduce well and positively, they “dance” with women who pose no risk.
This leads to why so many men get hooked on porn, or sneak off to see strippers and escorts. It’s a longing to witness to female pleasure in all of its beauty, free of shame.
The sad thing is that so many of the forms men seek out are manufactured and therefore, not truly satisfying.
If the woman he loved would only give her pleasure (openly and shamelessly) it would be far superior to any seductress he pays for the opportunity — but a hungry man often takes what he can get.
Men want to celebrate and indulge in female sexuality.
The women they love have the power to give them this gift.
If a woman can learn to appreciate (really and truly) her man’s desire to celebrate her body and pleasure, she’s off to a very powerful start. Just accepting a man, sexually, is monumental and healing.
Then she can begin sharing herself more and more liberally, with greater openness and love.
It’s through the generous giving of her body and pleasure that she’ll come to know her true sexual power – to heal herself and her man’s wandering desire.
What do you think? Karen’s working on her next book and appreciates your input.