Keenan Santos and Reuben Fernandez were killed trying to protect their women friends in Mumbai in 2011
Keenan Santos and Reuben Fernandez were murdered in 2011 for confronting four men who misbehaved with their women friends in Mumbai. A Special Women’s Court sentenced the four men to life imprisonment in May this year. “I was yelling for help,” writes Priyanka Fernandes, Santos’s girlfriend, in a heartbreaking piece carried by NDTV in 2012. She adds that it was the saddest thing to see no one respond to their cries. “People were standing around watching him get killed.”
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We have to realize that if we want men to be their best selves, we need to help them be that way. When it comes to standing up for women, brave men are a rarity in India. If we need to get more men involved, we have to build a more sensitive, fearless society.
It’s okay to be afraid, but it’s not okay to be insensitive.
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There are men who are disturbed by crimes against women and genuinely want to help, but are afraid of being the victims. This is because we have been conditioned—by fear—to watch, never to act.
It’s okay to be afraid, but it’s not okay to be insensitive. Insensitivity breeds indifference in society and stops men from helping out in times of need. Santos and Fernandez felt no fear perhaps, which is why they continue to motivate many men to be bold and caring human beings. However, they lost their lives to mindless violence and apathy, and we can’t afford to lose more men like them. Simple acts like dialling the police, seeking help from others, and acting in ways that do not put your own lives at risk will help everyone be more involved in guarding the dignity of women on Indian streets.
As a woman, it’s good to know that there are men who will stand up for me, for my safety and right to live. It’s good to know I am not just someone’s fantasy but a valued citizen of my country with equal rights and responsibilities. It would be nice to see men and women fighting for the same goal—to make our country a safer place to live in. Unless action is taken right now, I see no hope for this in India.
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Many times, families do not notice the views of growing boys, thus losing a very precious opportunity of correcting them as they grow. Respect, empathy and understanding must be instilled in children so they grow to form a generation that stays away from sexism or sexual violence—a generation that not only knows what’s right but also stands up to support those who fight for it.
It also needs ordinary men to stop denying what exists in Indian society
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Discourage people who trivialize eve-teasing (a word used very commonly in India; it amounts to harassment in other societies). Please speak up for us when you hear anyone blaming us for what we wear or how we live. Worship Goddesses in temples, but see us as regular human beings. We do not want to be Goddesses.
India needs a revolution. It needs great men like Mahatma Gandhi, whose principle of non-violence inspired the world. It needs brave men like Babasaheb Ambedkar, who spoke for women to be empowered and seen as equals. It needs sensitive young boys like Santos and Fernandez, who didn’t shy away from defending their friends. It also needs ordinary men to stop denying what exists in Indian society and step up to support women to create a more equal world.
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Photo Credit: Keenan and Santos, Public Group, Facebook