
Look, guys… I get it. Your little princess is growing up and isn’t the same person she was last month or last year or when you held her in your loving arms after she was born.
She’s going through stuff. Puberty’s just as rough for her as it was for you. Worse, probably, because she’s got the endless joys of feeling like she’s bleeding like a wounded gazelle on the Serengeti while trying to deal with falling apart inside.
She’s hearing one side telling her she’s a woman now and cringing internally about what the frick that even means. Expectations are high. She’s part of a system of peers who judge her based not only on the clothes she wears and who she hangs with, but whether she’s “gotten her first” or not.
On the other side of the coin, she sees you freaking out about her growing up and not wanting to hear anything about “that time of the month.” The mere thought of having to walk down Aisle 8A is horrifying and sends you wailing into the night, looking for the nearest coyote to shriek at.
Does she really need that, though? Are you in any way helpful for her mental state as she’s going through all the changes?
How much better would it be for her to know you’re still going to love her regardless of if she’s changing or not? Even when she hits that terrifying age of 16 and becomes an even bigger hormonal mess, she’s still going to need you around to tell her everything’s going to be okay.
Teach her here and now she’s not some kind of freak for going through what she is. She needs to hear that, because everything inside her is roaring that a freak is exactly what she is.
I know. I know! It’s scary. It’s the last thing you wanted to deal with, even though you knew it was on its way. Aunt Flo waits for no one. Her day will always come, and you’re helpless in the face of it.
But you know what? So’s your kid. She’s going through hell, and the best thing you could do for her is take her hand, stride with pride down Aisle 8A and grab that pack of tampons (GASP! Yes, that horrible word), and slam them suckers down on the conveyor belt.
Do anything other than freak out about something half the planet experiences. It’s really not that big of a deal at all.
You know, unless you make it into one.
Thank you for being you.
Keep striving to “be the best you that you can be” at this moment. Remember, no matter who you are or what you’re going through, you are worthy of being loved. Don’t let anyone teach you anything different.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism |
Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box |
The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer |
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Photo credit: iStockPhoto.com
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism
Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box
The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer
