A ‘typical’, beer drinking, hetero guy saw Michael Sam’s Draft Day kiss. Here’s his honest reaction.
The Kiss Heard ‘Round The World freaked me out when I saw it. I can’t lie, it did.
But…
I also know social progress when I see it.
I’m mostly what you call a “typical” guy. Yeah, I’ll fight for everyone’s basic human rights, but I like to drink a beer and fart. Yeah, I’ll battle for anyone’s right to marry, but I love strip clubs.
Like I said, a typical man.
But, I do understand that we (America) are in a new age now. An age where young gay people are coming out with “oomph”. Today’s young, gay, and famous people are stomping out of the closet and daring you to say anything negative to and about them. And that’s pretty fucking cool. And, what’s really important is that they have America’s millennial youth behind them. If you know anything about American history, you know that most movements that are backed by the young almost always win, and if they don’t, they still make a hell of a lot of noise.
My initial un-ease with Sam’s smooch can be chalked up to my inner-city, East Cleveland upbringing. When I was a kid, if someone called me gay, it was pretty much law that I had to say something derogatory to that person, or throw hands. Being seen as gay or effeminate in the Midwest in the 1980’s was honestly, dangerous. That kind of “teaching” was pretty much branded on to my DNA as a youth.
Which is why in the past decade I’ve had to (sometimes awkwardly) grow in unexpected ways. I had to learn that calling someone gay in a hurtful way is a total no-go. I learned that voicing my frat boy, beer influenced girl on girl fantasies could be seen as an insult to longtime lesbian couples who may have had to go through hell just to be together. I learned about not putting my foot in my mouth when I unintentionally insulted a bi-sexual family member with horrible attempt at humor.
So, Sam’s smooch, while initially shocking, is something that I soon realized would be a historical document. Yup, I’m betting Michael Sam’s draft day lip lock pic will be immortalized right along with the photos of Tommie Smith and John Carlos, and the Y.A. Tittle “defeat” picture. And that’s just sports lore. In some households, I can imagine the Sam pic sitting right next to a President Obama piece.
I’m still learning, and still growing in this exciting time we’re living in. Neither learning nor growing is easy, but it’s essential. And so is Michael Sam, and his epic kiss.
I think I’ll drink a beer to that 😉
Photo LanceScurv Flickr
Kissing and loving is universal and has no “societal rules.” If anyone s uncomfortable with men kissing (or any other combination they consider not “normal” or against their “beliefs”) it is their problem. The need to classify loving, positive and caring behavior based on prejudice is the issue here. No one should care if two consenting adults of any gender and orientation kiss and love each other. Although everyone is entitled to their opinion and views, they are not all acceptable. We need more loving and stable relationships in our culture not less and certainly not more ignorance, prejudice and… Read more »
“The West Wing” addresses the Bible’s take on homosexuality and many other archaic practices very beautifully in this clip. It really starts around 1:38: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1-ip47WYWc
I disagree on one major point, lauren. The typical guy is in fact hetero, since being gay comprises about 15% of the population. Also being raised as males, the typical guy will have many of the expressed traits as the author suggests, and that includes the gay fellows too. I think you’re viewing guys from a female perspective and not from the male experience. Which is understandable but only tells half the story you want to say.
When I saw all the references to it the following day on Tumblr and whatnot, I clicked a Youtube link expecting something a little spicier than that. Like many women today, Tumblr has taught me, I think men kissing is completely adorable. Yay! Romance triumphs over obstacles (obstacles being in this case institutional homophobia)! I braced myself, though; my fiancee is a progressive guy, but I knew he was going to flinch seeing this and steel himself to be the man he wants to be, not the man he was raised to be in 1980s Alaska. The kiss turned out… Read more »
Everyone knows that two men kissing is not normal & that’s why it’s getting National headlines. Men always kiss their wives or girlfriends in situations like this & nobody cares, so if this is so “normal” nowadays then why so much attention? Exactly
I’m excited to be living in this age of social progress. Thanks for this great article! And also, you taught me something-or at least made me learn something. You mentioned Y.A. Tittle. I live near LSU and a nearby street is named for him, but I had no idea who he was until today!
LOL! Awesome! And Geaux Tigers!
Ya know, I bet his boyfriend drinks beer and watches sports, too. There’s no reason anyone should contrast “gay” with “beer drinking, football watching, manly man.” Not sure if Sam drinks beer, because of all the training he has to do.
I understand this so dubbed “gay kiss” is breaking new ground and stereotypes. It’s proactive for sure. I understand all of that! Here’s where my problem is with this situation. It violates what Scripture says when it tells us clearly, a man is not to lay with another man, nor beast, nor another man’s wife, etc. Sure, it’s revolutionary in our modern culture but the problem is that as a society we move farther and farther away from God’s principles put in place to protect His children, politically correctness be damned. The farther we move away from God’s protective principles,… Read more »
Thanks Jeremy for being very respectful and even polite as you voice your opinion. I will try and do the same. I understand why you feel the way you did about the kiss. However, I do not agree with it. This is not a Christian world we live in. It is a human world, and that was a natural human expression of love and devotion. We cannot mix religion into what should and should not be aired, anymore then we should be mixing religion with politics. Not all people believe we are born of sin, not all people believe in… Read more »
In response to CHRISTY:BETTER! MEN WOULD BE BETTER!-This from an Out-Proud & EQUAL BLACK GAY MAN!BY NO MEANS …TYPICAL! Thankyou Very Much.
No violations of Scripture going on, as long as we take a totally literal approach. A truly word-for-word fundamentalist approach would see nothing wrong here. The passage says they’re not supposed to lay with each other. They’re not lying down. Take it literally, and as long as two men don’t have sex lying down then they’re not violating those rules. Same thing with “not lying with a man as with a woman.” A man cannot literally have sex with a man in exactly the same was as with a woman, so there’s no violation there, either. Unless you’re suggesting that… Read more »
Your last point is a great one wellokaythen. The Scripture says not to lay with another man as with a woman, which, as a gay man, I haven’t done, either physically, emotionally, or spiritually. I’m not exactly sure how one is supposed to do that.
This is of course is besides the fact that it was detestable to eat shellfish just a few chapters before in the same book!
There are six places in the Bible generally thought to address homosexuality. Two are in Leviticus, which Christians are not required to follow. Three male-on-male rape and prostitution. In the sixth, a specific type of homosexuality is visited upon some people as a punishment–but importantly, it is not the sin. **There is absolutely no reason to believe the Bible, as it applies to Christians and to the branches of Judaism that do not follow Leviticus to the letter, condemns homosexuality or classifies it as a sin.** See section 3 of the following for specifics: http://open.salon.com/blog/real_live_preacher/2008/12/19/what_the_bible_really_says_about_homosexuality . There are no words… Read more »
There are six places in the Bible generally thought to address homosexuality. Two are in Leviticus, which Christians are not required to follow. Three are about male-on-male rape and prostitution, not homosexuality as a whole; rape and prostitution are sins regardless of the genders involved. In the sixth, a specific type of homosexuality is visited upon some people as a punishment–but importantly, it is not the sin. **There is absolutely no reason to believe the Bible, as it applies to Christians and to the branches of Judaism that do not follow Leviticus to the letter, condemns homosexuality or classifies it… Read more »
Agree Jeremy and Edmund. Do’nt need it exposed in this way as the great majority I am sure actually believe also.
You got my like, Greg. This is honest. I’ve got no problem with honest. I would rather 1,000 news/sports personalities go, “Ok, yeah, it made me uncomfortable, but this is the the way it is now so I need to deal with my own feelings, might take me a while to get used to it but ok, and cool for this guy, he’s going to PLAY FOR THE NFL! LIVING THE DREAM!”
Thanks JJ 🙂
Greg,
Thanks for this. As a gay man who is mid 40’s and came of age and out in the 80’s I had the homophobia baked into my DNA also. I still have moments of my own homophobia, and I date men.
It’s definitely been a long battle to root out my own fears but it sure is nice to see it happening in the “youts”
How awesome is it that we get to live through this? pretty damn awesome.
Good article and thanks for sharing.
David Pisarra, Esq.
Thank YOU David for liking the article 🙂
I found this article to actually be incredibly small-minded – almost the epitome of the kinds of things Good Men Project usually fights against. ‘A typical man’ ? I didn’t realize there was such a thing…much less that this so called typical man is identified by the love of beer, farting, and naked women. Maybe the author didn’t even realize it, but this is an incredibly small box to put all of mankind in…and it brings to mind the countless stereotyped images of sitcom dads. You know, the inept, disgusting, always slightly overweight ones who seem to only care about… Read more »
I agree, Lauren. Why the need to define a “typical” man? I think the only thing typical about it is the assumption that all men are like him and he is performing his gender in line with the dictated way to be a “man”. I often wonder who men would be, if they weren’t so attached to the gender expectations they emulate.
the typical man IS hetero. most men are hetero. if you pick a man out of a crowd, chances are you picked a hetero.
I have to agree. I am a gay man and I also like to drink, fart and go to strip clubs. i also have kids. there was nothing shocking at all about two people kissing.
It’s also an amazing mark of progress that people talk about this as a “gay kiss” and not an “inter-racial kiss.” Black person and white person kissing and that hardly registers at all — definitely come a long way since the 1960’s.
Holy crap…I had not even thought about that.
Guess homophobia trumps racism?
I don’t think it is, or ought to be, a competition.