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Throughout history, the archetype of a male in society has been tied to a number of prevailing archetypes. Most importantly, in order to succeed (in aspects such as leadership and mating) within a social hierarchy, a man has had to prove himself as more desirable than his competition. Consequently, history shows us countless examples in which the male, determined to perpetuate his legacy and lineage, equips himself with position and power to attract a partner and exert influence within the social herd.
As members of modern Western society, we have witnessed the eradication of time-tested stereotypes about gender. With seemingly unbridled access to information and education, and with laws that protect against gender discrimination in the workplace, one would think that freed from the social obligation of choosing an impressive profession to secure social legitimacy, men would pursue avenues of greater personal fulfillment.
On the contrary, we are still living within the social constructs of our primitive ancestors, and our desire to be accepted – intimately as well as societally – has simply been adapted to the pressures of modernity. A study by the US Bureau of Statistics determined that men are still engaged in more risky professions at a staggeringly higher rate than their female counterparts. Yet, when the social advantages of such choices are stripped away, what remains of the evolutionary notion that man’s path to social success lies in what he does, not who he is?
Perhaps the biggest issue facing men of the modern age is that, without the evolutionary and historical justifications to predetermine our place in society, who are we even supposed to be? We may still get up everyday and settle into the time-tested role of a stressful career to provide for a family, while society becomes less amenable to rewarding such efforts with higher positions on the community ladder.
It is perhaps in this moment that we should realize the sobering truth of our contemporary existence: the modern man is precisely whomever he chooses to be.
Now before you dismiss this as simply millennial justification to do whatever you want, whenever you want, I readily admit that one of the greatest issues in our contemporary culture is the lack of discussion around the consequences of pursuing your unique calling. While a common tendency in our educational system is to reward participation over results, it goes without saying that, at some point, we all come face to face with the trials and tribulations linked to our individual path.
Nevertheless, rarely, if ever, have we been afforded the ability to truly pursue our passions – irrespective of the unknown consequences – and not fear that the larger social herd we are part of will leave us behind. In fact, it has commonly been shown that, where we tend to seek out success in conjunction with happiness, we are far more likely to invite the opposite of happiness into our lives. Alternatively, when we pursue a meaningful life, it is much more likely that we will be better equipped to take on the challenges that come with living our human experience.
As men, we may have historically found ourselves in a cycle of gender-influenced competition, in order that we may assert our place in society. Yet, it is perhaps high time to rid ourselves of the notion that we need to risk our personal safety and well being for the sake of passing down a family name. Modern western society has largely eradicated the barriers that highlighted the importance of gender in perpetuating our species; it may certainly benefit us all if we are able to commit to doing the same thing in our personal lives.
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Have you read the original anthology that was the catalyst for The Good Men Project? Buy here: The Good Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood
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