In 2003, my friend Rick called to see if I wanted to attend a fundraiser for some guy named Barack Obama, who was running for the U.S. Senate seat in Illinois.
Republican Peter Fitzgerald retired after just serving one term, which left the seat open with no incumbent running.
I was living in St. Louis, where the Mississippi River separates the two states.
“Supposedly, this guy Obama is the real deal,” Rick told me, trying to convince me to attend.
I had long ago decided I wanted to be an independent and not support either political party, but I decided to go anyway.
For just $250 I could meet the “real deal.” Seemed like a potentially good investment, especially since there we had been only a grand total of two Black senators since 1875.
Up until this time, Obama was a state Senator in Illinois, virtually unknown outside of Illinois state politics. I certainly had never heard of him.
I arrived at the Westin St. Louis hotel in downtown to hear from State Senator Obama.
What came next would change my way of thinking for the rest of my life.
Obama started with a few jokes and shared his infectious, charming smile. He was disarming, especially for a politician.
His speech that day didn’t focus on many political issues. It was about American civility and respect.
It was an almost all-Black audience, except for me and two others, and I was definitely the only non-Democrat in the room.
“When Republicans have an idea, it isn’t wrong just because they came up with it,” Obama started.
“When George Bush talks about personal responsibility, I agree with him. People ought to take care of their communities regardless of what the government is doing. I just happen to disagree with him that it’s only about that. I think we as the government can build up communities.” He went on to talk about business enterprise zones.
Obama even confronted party differences on abortion and guns. Not on the substance of these issues, but on respecting others’ views.
He pleaded with the Democratic room to not view people with different views as awful humans.
“If someone genuinely thinks abortion is murder, we have to at least understand why, then, they would want them to be illegal. I disagree with them and don’t think it is the same as murder, but I understand how they arrived at their opinions given their religious view of when human life starts.”
“I’ve met families who have hunted for generations where guns are a part of how fathers, sons and daughters often bond. They don’t want you to take their guns because they’re so important to them. I’d just tell them you don’t need an AK-47. Give the deer a chance,” Obama smiled.
“I’m not going to take your guns,” he reminded the crowd.
His entire talk that day was about understanding and respecting people with differences of opinion. How important it is, when we can, to incorporate good ideas from all persuasions.
“We have to get back to civility in politics. It doesn’t mean we will come together on everything. But we can discuss things differently.”
Now we all know the rest of the story. Republicans admitted after his presidency that many of them deliberately opposed Obama on every issue, regardless of whether Obama was right or wrong. We know that Obama faced tremendous unfair and unbalanced criticism, despite Obama’s pledge to cooperate.
After his talk, I got what I’d years later understand was a once in a lifetime opportunity. To talk to Obama alone for 10 to 15 minutes.
We chatted about racism. About the Middle East. And even about life for a few minutes.
What was clear from my talk was that Obama, pardon the pun, wasn’t a black and white person. He saw nuances. He saw the gray areas. He understood that to reach good decisions, he needed to consider not just his worldview, but the facts on the ground. And others’ opinions.
When we talked about Israel, for example, it was clear Obama cared about Israel and understood the deep connection the Jewish people have to the land, all while having compassion for Palestinians who don’t have their own country. He shared that he knew Israel lives in a dangerous neighborhood but also wasn’t willing to give up trying to solve the dispute.
He believed you could be pro-Israel and pro-Palestine. His book, “A Promised Land,” underscores the depth of President Obama’s decision-making process.
When we talked about the state of racism in America, Obama took a deep breath.
He knew government couldn’t solve the entire mess, but he also shared it could still make a difference. By investing in communities and ensuring people had more opportunities. It’s why he saved the auto industry from collapse.
I didn’t always agree with every policy of later President Obama, especially on topics like Iran, but I always knew that this was a man who toiled in his decisions. Who was thoughtful. Who weighed the sometimes extremely difficult balancing factors. And who wasn’t willing to give up on the dignity and goodness of all humans. Black, white, Straight, Gay, Jew or Muslim.
The best way we can truly honor one of America’s classiest and impactful presidents is to heed Obama’s call to return to civility and respect in politics.
There are some issues where there’s no compromise. But if we proceed with our ears before our voices, and then decide thoughtfully, we can create an America where we value each other.
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
From The Good Men Project on Medium
 |
 |
 |
 |
***
Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—–
Photo credit: Mathew Browne on Unspalsh
