Question: Allana, my husband and I are constantly back and forth on sharing responsibilities around the house. We both work full time jobs that are demanding so we broke down the household responsibilities. I find time to do mine but he constantly comes up with excuses as to why he can’t do his. How can I get him to see this is a partnership and if he doesn’t do his part, he is letting me down?
Answer: I completely get how annoying and frustrating this must be… And how you’re losing respect for your husband which can’t be very supportive to your love life or intimate connections, yes? How brilliant of you to reach out sister 🙂 Thank you.
Not to say that your husband as a teenager, just to let you know that my experience with this behavior happened with me and my 15-year-old son. This was a time when I chose to take responsibility for enabling and prolonging this drama because my coach told me that I was enabling his behavior by either doing the chores for him, or overreacting as a bitchy mom that he could blame, justifying his lack of responsibility, withhold his accountability, respect for the family, and support for the household.
In life there are natural consequences to our actions or lack of actions… and when we are unwilling to allow our loved ones to endure those natural consequences, we enable their behavior and they never grow.
However that’s way way way easier said than done.
There are many fires you will have to sit in, many places of judgment that you will have to dissolve into compassion, many places of overreacting that you’ll need to navigate intense emotions and breathe so that you can respond consciously in a grounded firm yet kind way.
You may even have to take responsibility for where you do this in a different way, in a different area of your life… basically where He is You. Gross, I know 😉 But always true.
Yet oh my God when you’re on the other side and you’ve awakened his bad ass nobility! Imagine what it’s going to feel like when you respect him again and he respects himself and you were the catalyst to see him as the king that he truly is inside, his devotion will be unsurmounted, and your connection will be pure loving rapture. Amazing right?
I’d love to share more about these natural consequences and not just what they are, but how to implement them through to total resolution, healing, self responsibility and thriving in your relationship. I’d love to contribute to you thus I encourage you to register for a discounted introductory strategy session with me at www.allanapratt.com/connect. This is more than my job, this is my calling and the greatest privilege and honor to provide the key to healing your marriage. You will have the skills to navigate any conflict moving forward, talk about a return on investment 😉
Hang in there, this is the beginning of the next extraordinary phase of your marriage 🙂
Deep love and respect, Allana
PHoto: www.BigStock.com