Mourn the passing, or celebrate the life that was lived.
The funeral is a solemn occasion to commemorate the loss of your loved one. With millions of funerals held every year, they aren’t always ideal, much less enjoyable.
Some people want to commemorate life with a little more festivity, and a celebration of life allows you to do this — versus a solemn memorial at a funeral home.
A celebration of life service often confuses many people since they don’t think the occasion of someone’s death warrants a “celebration.”
Here are eight tips for creating a memorial service guests will enjoy.
1. Create an interactive experience
Most funerals limit audience interactivity. Speakers deliver remarks, but most of the audience remains in their seats and stays silent. It’s boring and usually sad.
Limited interactivity is good for audiences who are in deep grief and they receive comfort through strong readings and speeches however, performing activities helps with the grieving process.
Minor tasks allow people to do something productive with their emotions and allow a temporary reprieve from the loss. Giving small children something to do calms them and makes them feel included.
Your perfect event doesn’t have to be super involved or expensive. Small activities like lighting candles or planting flowers, work wonders. Google “celebration of life venues” in your area to find a celebration of life venue that promotes interactivity and has experience creating the right environment.
Give speeches relating to the activities and encourage your guests to stand and walk around when appropriate.
At one celebration I hosted, a man began the ceremony by playing a Spirit Flute, setting a beautiful atmosphere so guests felt comfortable approaching the microphone to share memories. It wasn’t long before the crowd was laughing together.
Provide time for guests to say something that is on their mind and give them activities they can perform at home.
Photo by Onkundi Nyabuto on Unsplash
2. Memorialize your loved one
Your loved one may no longer be here, but we do not forget them. You can dedicate something as a permanent memory to your loved one.
- If the departed loved plants, decorate a memorial tree.
- If the departed loved stars, name a star after them.
- If the departed loved tattoos, get temporary tattoos of their name for your guests.
- Start an activity in their honor, such as a book club or a pub crawl.
Create a lasting reminder renewed yearly and use the celebration of life to launch that reminder.
3. Pay it forward
Giving to others is a very productive way to handle grief, allowing you to live out the values of your loved one. It lets you channel your emotions into something positive.
Donate to their favorite charity or their alma mater or start a memorial fund in their name.
Give food and other gifts to community members. If medical professionals were caring for your loved one, write cards and send a gift to them. Gratitude is an enormous healer!
Hold a celebration walk, run, or bike ride and dedicate it to your loved one. Then give the proceeds to a community group.
4. Be communal
Celebration of life events is about community; people gathering to celebrate one person’s life.
Celebrate the communities where the deceased was involved by reaching out to alumni, professional, and personal networks and invite representatives to give speeches.
Send out celebration of life invitations to everyone the loved one knew. Brainstorm some celebration of life event ideas with them.
Talk to each person who attends the event. Ask them about their thoughts and sincerely inquire how they’re handling the passing.
Encourage people to talk to other people and network with each other, reconnecting with family members and friends you haven’t spoken to in months.
You can still be communal even under COVID-19 regulations by hosting your event through ZOOM and have breakout rooms so they can talk to each other or use a Facebook Group to share memories and coordinate the details of the event and related business.
Photo by Kimson Doan on Unsplash
5. Keep in touch
The celebration of life does not have to be the last event. If you have people flying in from other parts of the country, schedule another event they can attend. If you want a more formal event, you can schedule a funeral as well.
Keep in touch with everyone who attends. Get their contact information and offer them phone calls and emails.
Consider hosting another event on an anniversary so people who couldn’t attend your first celebration of life can attend the second.
You don’t have to advertise it as a “celebration of life.” Consider hosting a dinner or potluck where people can come and talk. Even simple events comfort and bring people together.
Photo by Lauren McConachie on Unsplash
6. Set a goal to be joyous
A celebration of life permits more creativity and frivolity than a funeral does. Share jokes and funny stories in speeches, play fun music and read silly poetry.
Encourage people to think about the joy your loved one created, focusing on the accomplishments of your loved one.
At one of our hosted celebrations, the friends displayed poster boards on easels of photographs and memories, and in only a short walk, you felt reconnected to the deceased and felt happiness for their moments.
Come to find out, the deceased person would regularly buy old flowers from grocery stores and present them to his friends. At the funeral, nearly every guest brought a gigantic bouquet wrapped in cellophane with the marked-down price tag still on them.
We placed an enormous table out, and it was FULL of the guests’ bouquets. It was sweet and comical, making the mood feel more light and enjoyable.
The deceased worked part time at a restaurant, so the restaurant agreed to cater the food to further memorialize the occasion and they invited his favorite charity, a dog rescue.
Try to be as positive as you can. You can always host another event if some people aren’t up to “celebrating.”
7. Customize the celebration of life service
Do whatever you think is appropriate during a celebration of life service, whether it be more religious ceremony or secular. We’ve seen them combined, so it gives everyone different ways to grieve and connect.
Perform speeches, read poetry, or sing songs, serve food and drinks but make it memorable.
While bringing people together during COVID-19 restrictions is challenging, it’s allowed and hosting a live event with social distancing is practical if you have the right venue.
At Church Ranch Events Center, we host remote ZOOM events, allowing guests to interact through their feeds, placing televisions and cameras throughout the grounds so people feel like they’re physically there.
Think about what your loved one would have wanted, then adapt your event accordingly.
Photo by Gemma Chua-Tran on Unsplash
8. Commemorate in the best space
Celebrations of life are becoming more popular with time as they permit more creativity and emotional connection over funeral remains
Create an interactive experience that memorializes your loved one through time. Give back to their community with a sense of joy and honor.
Find a setting that you can celebrate life in and partner with a venue that knows how to create your vision.
With a little forethought and creativity, partnering with a reputable venue, your celebration can be a truly joyous occasion where your guests feel reconnected to others and the happy memories that live on forever long after death.
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This post was previously published on Medium.
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Photo credit: Rhodi Lopez on Unsplash
