How to heal a broken relationship in a week
That’s right. In a week. Pick one. Any one.
Before you get to the point where you have to say the words, ‘My marriage might be over.’ Read this piece. Even if you simply anticipate being at the threshold of a break up or a divorce, read this piece. This piece is full of help, real life scenarios and super, straight forward advice. If you seek it.
I decided to write this because my marriage was on the rocks. My marriage might have been over. Every where I turned, the help was so scripted and fake, it was no use to me.
My wife and I went to marriage counselor after marriage counselor for months. I studied online marriage ‘fitness’ programs. I tried to mimic the successfully married TV couples. Still., nothing.
I always felt that in order to come to a solution to my problem, I had to solve it myself. By that, I mean:
- Without the help of a therapist or a counselor.
- Without the help of a stranger telling me how I should do things for me and my wife.
- Without the help of any outsider, totally looking in, from out, and figuring they can fix what I broke. No.
See, I know my marriage. I like hot and spicy foods, she likes seafood. What I like, she doesn’t like. What she likes, I don’t like. So, why does the therapist think I should agree with him because he loves a particular restaurant that ultimately saved his marriage. This would be the ideal place to take my wife for a dinner date to start the making up. However, none of her favorite foods are there. He doesn’t know that. I do.
One man’s trash is another man’s treasure, so why would anyone think that marriage counseling is the answer to their problems? Probably because it works on TV and looks so interesting. Probably because we are constantly told that in order to right a wrong, we need intervention of an outsider. Probably because there is big business in sickness. If a rocky marriage is causing me to feel sick, then call a doctor, call somebody.
I even tried going to church. Even though I’m not the religious type. My wife thought it would help us. So, you know what they say? A happy wife is a happy life. Yeah, right.
The more I tried to make my wife happy, the more happier she wanted to be. It just was never enough. Until, one day. I read this article. ‘Every way to say I love you.’
I read the article and went right to working on my marriage. I was so excited at the possibility of a happy wife, again.
The tips in it were kind of corny, but with a little imagination and motivation I was able to personalize them. That’s the key. Just because they work for Lame Jones. Does not guarantee the same results for you. Take the tips and twist them. Make it personable. Relatable to your partner.
First, start sending sext messages. Nothing raunchy, you know your partner best, though. Start out slow. Get to know their sexting taste. It is 2016, so no need to explain what sexting is, right?
I will send something like, ‘What R U wearing?’ An innocent question. However, you can have so much fun with the answer. I still send this to my wife every now and then. Keep that flame lit. Never a dull moment with me. Blame it on the comedian in me, or the lover I am. Either way, with these two qualities you never know what you’re gonna get.
I send the ‘What R U wearing?’ text. She responds with, ‘gray slacks and an orange shirt.’ I say, ‘Whoa, I’d like to peel that orange.’ Perfect set up for after work. When she walks in the door, I’m all over the shirt. Let the games begin.
Hey, Beautiful. What R U having 4 lunch?
I am still sending her spur of the moment text messages that closely relate to her day. Lunch, a perfect topic. She responds with her answer and then I flip it.
I respond, ‘That’s nice. I didn’t eat yet.’
Her response, something like this. ‘Aw, would you like me to pick something up for you?’
Perfect. Just what I’m looking for. Segway into my response.
‘I’d rather you pick up them legs and drop it on my plate.’
Now, the party’s started, right.
By the time she gets home, she’s more than ready. She’s probably reading that text message over and over on the way home.
What allure makes your partner respond?
I will send a random email to her at work that says, ‘I can never stay mad at you. Simply, because I have way too much to talk to you about.’ You don’t even have to be fighting, that’s actually the best time to send it.
Catch your partner completely off guard and make them smile.
I will spend the whole day with my wife, from morning to night. Preferably a Saturday. We start with breakfast, then a walk in the park. We go to her favorite place and have afternoon tea. You could finish off with a romantic dinner at your partner’s favorite restaurant. Be sure to call ahead, say it’s a special day, and request the chef to visit your table.
If it is close to your anniversary or not, you could buy two champagne glasses and have them engraved with your names and your anniversary date. Now, it’s day five. If you have followed the rules, you are already two days ahead of the game.
Winding down, now. Memorize one of Shakespeare’s love sonnets and recite it to your partner when you both are in a romantic setting. Like a beach at sunset. Maybe you partner is not a Shakespeare fan, you could find another poet of love.
The final day of your relationship healing. Your marriage should be better by now. Relax at home with your partner with a glass of their favorite wine, or other beverage, and light two candles. Relax and enjoy.
Once you personalize this method, it should breathe life back into any dead or dying relationship by day three. If you make it to day seven, write your own hall pass, my fine student and see you at graduation.