
They try to control your mind.
“You will never find someone who will love you the way I love you.”
This is exactly how kidnappers groom their victims.
Do you know about the placebo effect? It’s the reason why people act drunk when they are given a non-alcoholic beverage.
The game is over once you start believing.
I remember watching a documentary a few years back about a woman who was abducted as a young girl. She spent many days in the predator’s backyard. It had a low fence. She could have easily climbed over.
In the documentary, the interviewer asked her, “Why didn’t you just leave?”
At that point, the woman’s brain was already rewired.
She believed the things her kidnapper told her. In her mind, she thought everyone outside that backyard was going to get her. That’s why she didn’t leave. She thought it was now the man and her versus the world.
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They badmouth their exes.
“All my exes were crazy.”
First off, if we are on a date, I don’t want to talk about exes. I want to talk about us. I want to understand your hobbies, philosophies, and dreams. I want us to banter and laugh the night away.
All that changes once we start talking about exes.
There are two possibilities if someone says, “All my exes were crazy.”
1. They do a terrible job screening their partners.
They are blinded by infatuation and give their partners too many chances. They become attached. They are reluctant to leave the relationship even though doing so will be great for their mental health.
2. They are the crazy ones.
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They are combative with family.
Foreshadowing is a common literary device used by fiction writers. The author gives the reader hints on what is going to happen. They do this through a combination of dialogue and action.
Pay attention to how your partner treats their family.
Their behavior foreshadows what they will do to you. Run far away if you see any verbal or physical abuse.
It will be your turn next. It is not a matter of if but when.
The honeymoon period will end. We all enjoy the initial butterflies we get when we start seeing someone new. We also know that maintaining a relationship takes a lot of work. More likely than not, there will be disagreements and arguments. The way couples handle these moments will test the strength of their relationship.
If someone handles stressful moments by lashing out at others, then they do not healthily resolve problems. Leave while you can.
…
They suddenly want an open relationship.
I have nothing against open relationships if that has been the premise of the connection from the very beginning. However, your partner has something sinister planned if they suddenly want to transition from an exclusive relationship to an open one.
You are no longer their primary love interest.
They are bored. You are now their backup plan. Your partner wants to see who else is out there. They want you to keep them company before committing to someone else.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism |
Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box |
The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer |
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Photo credit: Alexander Mils on Unsplash
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism
Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box
The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer