Never Say These 6 Things to a Man in a Relationship. He’ll Just Avoid You.

I don’t like telling women what to say and what not to say. But I like addressing real issues that lead to their misbehaviors, especially when they can’t have what they want from a man, or when a guy loses interest in them.

If these words can describe what you’ve done or said to your partner, that means you need to address them, because that might be the root cause of the problems in your relationship.

1. Don’t say or bring up the things you’ve forgiven him for in the past.

Don’t remind him of every wrong thing he has done in the past or use them against him whenever you’re fighting.

As long as you’ve forgiven him for certain things, and you still want the relationship to keep moving, just move past those old flaws and don’t bring them up again. Because bringing them up will make you look immature and hateful, and that won’t contribute anything positive to your relationship.

2. Don’t say ‘Don’t ever’.

When you use such words, ‘Don’t ever..’ you sound naggy and unappreciative. Men won’t relate well with you when you use such words, because it makes them resentful and they won’t function well or do the things you desire.

You can put your words like this ‘I like it when you..’ because men want to feel appreciated.

3. Don’t tell him how many guys have dumped you in the past.

There is no need to tell him how many there are, because he might start thinking that maybe you have a problem. Also, have in mind that he might not feel sorry for you upon hearing those statements.

Your intention might just be to tell him how hurtful those past experiences are. You want to share them with someone, hoping that they will pity you or stay, and not ghost you just like others.

But can I tell you that you’ve just devalued yourself by revealing those things? You now seem low valued in his present because you’ve just told him that a lot have rejected you.

4. Don’t say my ex is better than you.

Don’t compare your man with your ex or tell him how better your ex was. Think of this, how will you feel if he tries to compare you with his ex as well, or tries to tell you that they’re better than you?

When you’re fighting, there should be a way to express your anger without hurting him more or leaving him in a resentful state.

5. Don’t say ‘nothing is wrong’ all the time.

You know deep down that something is wrong and you expect him to read your mind. You must know that it is not his job to manage you or your thoughts.

I know you want him to be able to intuit your feelings or what you’re thinking. But as a mature person, you should be able to handle your feelings, or know when to express them in such a way that the other person will understand.

Don’t always leave him to guess what’s in your mind. Always carry him along.

6. Don’t say ‘Can you define this relationship’.

Guys don’t like to be pressured. They feel that as long as they’re on the same page with you, there’s no need to question where the relationship is heading.

Forcing him to have ‘the talk’ will kind of reduce the power or energy balance of the relationship, because you will find yourself in a position of waiting to see Id he will finally choose you.

Just let things flow naturally, without any pressure, unless he doesn’t want the kind of relationship you desire, then you may just walk away.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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