What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever done on New Year’s Eve? Were you sipping 5 Alive and making resolutions you’d forget by February, or were you like me—actively seeking out a midnight kiss because, apparently, that’s what cool people do?
Yes, I said it. Midnight kisses are the currency of New Year’s Eve, or so I’d been told. Everyone talks about how magical it is to lock lips as the clock strikes twelve, so I figured, “Why not?”
As someone who has lived through the chaos of a midnight kiss gone too far, trust me, I’ve got stories. Oh, and one particular story? That one’s all me. “Make I give you better gist”.
By the time December 2023 rolled around, I was determined to finally get mine. So instead of crossing over into the new year at church like a good Nigerian girl, I decided to attend a party thrown by none other than DJ Chicken. Don’t laugh—if you know, you know.
I went alone, no distractions, no judgments. I was there to unapologetically experience the vibes. I slipped into a little black shiny dress (because you can never go wrong with that), tossed my hair back, and paraded in.
I arrived at the party to a sea of people—couples coupling up and single pringles mingling like their lives depended on it. Nobody wanted to cross into the new year single, abeg.
So, I grabbed a drink, found a spot on the dance floor, and danced by myself. That’s when it happened. I felt someone grab me from behind. Slightly surprised, I turned around, praying it wasn’t some overly ambitious guy with bad breath. But, oh my God!!, my village people had finally stopped blocking my blessings.
There he was. Perfect face. Delicious body. And he smelled forbidden mixed with expensive cologne. We talked. We danced. We vibed. And boy I couldn’t take my eyes off him. The man was hunky—capital H-U-N-K-Y
Five minutes to the new year, he leaned in and whispered, “Are we gonna do this or what?” And as the clock hit midnight, he went in for the kiss.
Let’s just say, we exchanged saliva for over five minutes. Yes, five whole minutes. He grabbed my ass, kissed my neck, and I didn’t even care because, well, everybody else was doing the same thing. The world didn’t exist in that moment—just us.
And then, in a true Jade fashion, we slipped away to the bathroom. Yes, the bathroom. What happened there? Let’s just say it’s not for public consumption, but I will tell you this—he blocked me two days later because I wouldn’t stop texting him. Classic!!
My story might sound spicy, but let me tell you. Midnight kisses are messy and fleeting and often leave you with more questions than answers. Why do we even put so much pressure on them?
For one, society romanticizes the idea. Movies, social media, and even your favourite celebrities make you feel like you’re failing at life if you don’t kiss someone at midnight. But babes, listen —many of those kisses don’t end in love stories.
Take Tems, for instance. Sis was too busy winning awards, dropping soulful tracks and shaking her bum yacht to care about random midnight hookups. Wizkid? Baba was probably tweeting about Davido and sipping champagne on a private jet heading to New York instead of chasing any “new year, new me” romance. Meanwhile, the rest of us are out here acting like kissing someone at midnight will magically fix our love lives.
The truth is, a lot of people who chase midnight kisses aren’t looking for love. Some are looking for validation, others just want a good story to tell, and a few are hoping to avoid the embarrassment of being the only single person in their squad.
Many midnight kisses turn into messy situations. One minute you’re swapping spit in the middle of a crowded dance floor, and the next, you’re blocked on WhatsApp because you caught feelings
Don’t get me wrong ooh, I’m not saying you should avoid midnight kisses altogether. Life is short—live it. Abeg oh! But maybe don’t go into it expecting fireworks and a marriage proposal. Go for the experience, not the outcome.
If you get ghosted after, laugh about it, cry if you need to, but don’t let it define your year. And if you end up in a bathroom with a stranger, just make sure your phone is fully charged—you’ll need it for therapy later.
Enough about me, now, tell me—what’s your wildest New Year’s hookup story? Or are you one of those “new year, new me” saints who stays home praying at midnight? Either way, I’m listening. Spill the tea!
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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