Newlyweds With These Personality Traits Have More Frequent Sex According To Study

The sex-starved husband stereotype has been around for as long as the existence of modern marriage.

This stereotype isn’t true for all marriages. But there is some validity to it. If the stereotype was fictitious, no married man would complain about the lack of sex in their marriages.

On average, men desire sex at a higher rate than women.

Usually, men assume the role of initiators while women become the gatekeepers. Naturally, the person doing the asking is always going to face more rejection.

Here is the thing. Not all wives are reluctant to have sex. Many women are just as horny, if not more, than their male spouses.

So what makes these women who are always eager to have sex with their spouses so different?

Research by Andrea L.Meltzer and James K. McNulty of the Florida State University discovered two personality traits in wives predicted the frequency of sex in married couples.

The findings are based on the big five personality traits. These include extroversion, agreeableness, openness, conscientiousness, and neuroticism.

The big five traits are, in a nutshell, personality characteristics that reflect how an individual feels, thinks, and behaves.

We all possess each of the five personality traits, the difference being that some will rate higher while others rate lower. So a person can score an average on conscientiousness and low on agreeableness while scoring average on the rest.

The two personality traits that predicted a higher propensity to engage in sex early and frequently during the marriage were agreeableness and openness. However, when it came to the husbands, none of the big five traits affected sexual frequency in any meaningful way.

Even though both agreeableness and openness scored high for sexual frequency compared to all other personality traits, wives with high levels of agreeableness had a slight edge over those with openness. Agreeable people tend to be altruistic, affectionate, trusting, cooperative, and generally more sociable. Those who score high on openness tend to be curious, willing to try new things, and open-minded.

Out of the big five, neuroticism fared the worst. Both husbands and wives who scored low on neuroticism experienced less anxiety and stress. And they were more likely to be satisfied with their sex lives, unlike those who scored high on neuroticism.

What this all means in the greater scheme of things

These findings perfectly reflect my personal experiences when dating. While I understand that the study focused on married couples, it doesn’t take away from the fact women who are open and agreeable tend to not only have sex faster but have more of it too. Being unmarried wouldn’t make any difference.

Perhaps none of the personality traits had any effect on husbands because there is no social baggage surrounding sex for men as for women.

It’s harder for women to express themselves sexually, especially outside the context of a committed relationship. Doing so often means being judged for being too easy.

Essentially, women have been conditioned into believing being a good girl means being prudish and sexually conservative. I highly doubt this type of thinking automatically stops just because they get married.

Open and agreeable women are less likely to give in to societal expectations. They are also more likely to go along and do whatever it takes to please their partner sexually should they ask for it.

For the men (or women) who place high importance on sex, there might be some benefit in looking for agreeableness and openness in a potential partner. Or better yet, allowing women to express their sexuality free from judgment would go a long way in ensuring an even sexual playing field for everyone involved.

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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.

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