In Japanese, Mushin means no mind or the empty mind. Mushin is fundamental in Aikido and in mastery of any discipline. I can only create from mushin, from nothing. I invent myself from mushin, too. Present in the moment. Everything quiet. I create who I am and what I do.
The late Mizukami Sensei taught me the koan: Mushin. Mushin. That translates as: If you think about having an empty mind, then you don’t have one. In Top Gun Maverick (2022), Tom Cruise as Captain Pete “Maverick” Mitchell tells his Top Gun protege Lt. Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw, played by Miles Teller, “Don’t think. Just do.” That’s about half right. Just don’t think. Have no preconceived notions from the past. Invent myself from nothing.
In Aikido I train in jyuwaza, where multiple attackers attack in rapid succession. Attackers strike or grab me. If I think, freeze, and do nothing, then I’m done. I create my Aikido technique from mushin. No mind. I stand straight and tall. Well, I stand as tall as I can. I invite the attack. I don’t defend against the attack. Don’t aggress against aggression.
No mind. Everything is quiet inside. I wait out the attack. I enter the attack and die with honor. I match the attack with mine. If I defend, I can be defeated. I take a glancing blow if I have to. I’m not getting away unscathed. It’s one time.
I draw the attacker to my center. I apply the technique to myself, not to the attacker. O-Sensei Morihei Ueshiba said, “True victory is victory over oneself.” I’m my GOAT (Greatest of All-Time) opponent. It’s me against me. I overcome me, not the attacker. I let the attacker pass or end the attack with iriminage (clothesline technique to the head) or kotegaeshi (wristlock). The attacker takes the fall or stands down from their attack. We both choose. Still, I move on to the next attacker. Start again from zero. Wait it out.
In the center of the attack, in what I fear, I do what’s inside me. No mind. Strong heart. That’s Mushin, Mushin, what Mizukami Sensei taught me. I invent the best version of myself in the presence of what I fear. I’m present in the moment, present in life. I empty my mind and have a strong heart. I do that in the attack and in life. At least, I try to.
In my own trials and tribulations in finding someone in a romantic relationship and dating on Match dot com, I get that I’m not what women want. I’m 5’3”. I’m not handsome. I am not exactly rich. I give up being right that I’m not good enough for a woman I love. I don’t make her or myself wrong. There’s always someone who’s better than I am. That’s just life. I’m good with I’m not good enough. Just saying.
In Aikido training, I get that I have to let everything go in life. I open up. Keep my heart open. Ishibashi Sensei said putting his hand to heart, “It’s what’s here.” What I need is already inside me. No mind. Strong heart.
I loved someone. I said, “I love you.” I said what was inside me, what was in my heart. She loved me, but wasn’t in love with me. I got it. I dared bravely, dared to be me. I failed bravely, too. I let go. I have nothing to do with goes inside someone else. I have a lot to do with what goes on inside me. I love myself for who I am and forgive myself for who I’m not.
I may not fall madly and deeply in love with a woman who will love me back the same way. I keep trying. Keep moving forward. Keep my heart open. I work on myself, not on others. No mind. Strong heart. I’m good with that. I’m good with me, too. Just saying.
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Photo by Cathal Mac an Bheatha on Unsplash
