No Worries

My dear friend, my Brother, the late Chuck Judge often said, “No worries.” He said that with a smile, when things went completely sideways, when the unexpected challenges arose. Chuck said, “No worries,” when he got brain cancer about 10 years ago. He passed away in April 2021. Chuck was the kindest, most decent Man I knew on Planet Earth. Rest in Peace Chuck, “… and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.”

Years ago, when Chuck said, “No worries”, I thought, “Are you fucking kidding?” Yet, Chuck was a far, far wiser man. Over the years, I learned from him. I became a better man because of Chuck.

As the frightened boy growing up at home, I worried about everything. Dad scared the hell out of me. I never knew what made him so angry with me. I worried about what I did, what I didn’t do. My childhood was the no win scenario. From the time that I was little, I could never relax. I was constantly on guard, always on edge. I was so exhausted.

My late Mom got that Dad made me fear deep inside myself. She said, “Slow down, Jonny.” “Take a deep breath.” Just breathe. Things have a way of working out. As I grew older, I got the meaningfulness of Mom’s words. Nothing, but mad love and respect to Mom.

Much of my fear inside sources from my expectations of what might happen. That things might go so wrong, might be very bad. That I will suffer. Yeah, I could worry about that. Yet, worry and $4 get me a small latte. In the bigger picture, worrying makes no difference at all. What I worry about hasn’t happened yet. As Chuck said, “No worries.”

In my own trials and tribulations, I did transformational training; I’ve trained in Aikido. I worked on myself, not on others. NBA GOAT (Greatest of All-Time) Michael Jordan said, “Why should I think about missing a shot that I haven’t taken yet?” Exactly. I’ve spent a shit load of time worrying about what hasn’t happened yet. In my 59 years on Planet Earth with all that’s happened, I’m still okay. Just saying.

Werner Erhard said that we choose who we are going to be in any given moment. My fear resides in either the reminders of fear from the past or the fear of what may happen. In Aikido, I train to release my fear within. A lot of that fear sources from my experiences as an 8-year-old boy, powerless to stand up to Dad.

In Aikido, the bigger, stronger man attacks me. The late Mizukami Sensei instructed, “Wait it out. It’s one time.” I wait out the attack. I enter the attack and die with honor. I get under my fear, under the attack. I’m present. Not stuck in the past. Not thinking about what might happen. Present.

It’s only me against me. Ishibashi Sensei instructs, “Apply the (Aikido) technique to yourself.” The attacker, the attack doesn’t matter. O-Sensei said, “True victory is victory over oneself.” I’m my GOAT (Greatest of All-Time) opponent. I overcome me.

Under the attack, I choose who I’m going to be, what I’m going to do. I can let the attacker pass or end the attack. I choose. The attacker chooses whether to continue the attack or stand down. I could win or lose. What happens, happens. I choose what to do, who to be. No worries.

Yeah, I still worry sometimes. Although, I worry a whole lot less than before. I enter my fear. I release my fear. My fear inside may never completely dissolve in my lifetime. So, I keep letting my fear go. Just train.

In the bigger picture, I don’t control the infinite number of circumstances or occurrences. I can control whatever fractional subset that I do have a say in. For the remainder, that I have absolutely no control over: I don’t give a fuck. Chuck said, “No worries.” Throughout our 30 year friendship, I heard Chuck use the f-word only twice. Maybe three times. Chuck was the most decent human being I knew on Planet Earth. No shit. Nothing but mad love and respect to Chuck.

Yeah, I could worry about a whole lot of shit, about shit that hasn’t happened yet. I control the things that I can, which nearly approaches zero. Regarding all shit that I have absolutely no control over or have nothing to do with, I just don’t care. Give that no mind. Mushin.

Life is way too short to worry about anything. Keep it simple. I work on myself, not others. I work on the greater-than versions of me. I do my best to make a difference for others. I have as much fun as I can, for as long as I can. No worries. Just saying.

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