Yes. This pandemic that is COVID-19 (Coronavirus) has ruined a lot of things for people. It’s ruined trips, dates, bar hopping, and standing on top of couches at your favorite club (S/O to my guys Mike & T-Hill). Some of us have been confined to our homes, and in my experience so far, it hasn’t been THAT bad. The only thing about this post, however, is that it has nothing to do with me but more-so of you all! Good timing, right? I say this because although this virus has ruined a lot of things for us all, it’s a huge silver lining, especially in the dating/relationship department. This time in your life should also give you time to reflect on dating mishaps and to also focus on yourself a little more than usual. If you have time, I’ll go a little more into depth with it.
We’ve all had our ups and downs when it comes to dating/relationships. Sometimes we don’t give ourselves much time to sit down and say “why does this keep happening?”, or the famous “is it me?”. Since we have all this free time from other humans (I’m assuming everyone reading this is social distancing), it’s time to reflect on these mishaps and become analytical. It’s also time to be honest with yourself. It’s not always the other party’s fault. Take advantage of this pandemic to become accountable. Here are THREE essential questions you can ask yourself during this reflection phase.
AM I REALLY READY?
This should be the very first question you should ask, especially if you really haven’t taken a break from dating. Sometimes we’re infamous for serial dating in order to take our minds off of the things we should be working on. We’re forever wanting someone else to complete us instead of loving yourself instead. Once you take time to be alone, you’ll know if you’re ready or not; most importantly, you won’t be searching day & night for someone that may not be the one for you.
DO I LOVE MYSELF?
Great follow-up right? Loving yourself before you love someone else is something a lot of people will not admit. It can be embarrassing to realize that through all of your experiences, not one includes celebrating yourself. Maybe that is why we search high & low for someone; because we think someone else’s love will take precedence of how LITTLE we love ourselves. If you’re the reader that answered “no” in your mind, now is the time to become analytical and find out WHY. Reflect on all your actions that have led you to this point, and I guarantee you that you’ll find your answer and build from there.
WHAT DO I WANT?
This is a pretty good question. I say this because we can fool ourselves thinking we want another relationship, then turn around and decide we only want friendship and just make things sour with the person you (once) pursued. PLEASE and I mean PLEASE know what you want before you approach someone. If you haven’t learned by now, a lot of people actually value their time, and they don’t have enough time in the day to entertain your uncertainties. Let’s take our time and figure things out so you don’t get cussed out by the next person you run into, alright? If you’re looking for a friend, say that. Don’t date & make it seem you want more with that person when that was never your plan. If you’re looking for something serious, speak up. Take action. If that other person doesn’t feel the same, at least you made intentions clear instead of wasting time.
Now that you’ve read this, go ahead and start the process. It’s not like you’re flying out to Jamaica in the morning or anything.
This post was previously published on Hello, Love and is republished here with permission from the author.
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