During the childhood years when I was bullied, I constantly fled to my mom. She was the one person I knew I could count on whenever the world sucked and I needed help. At the time, I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know how to fight back. So I ran to my mom, looked up at her, and asked for help.
Soon enough I heard the chant of mamitis from my classmates. Mamitis is what we call being a momma’s boy in Mexico; it sounds like a disease, and it’s treated like one by the school kids. The teasing was worse than before. I had not only shown that I was a “wimp,” but that I was a wimp with mamitis.
Being a momma’s boy is never a good thing. At least that is not how most people view it. For most, it symbolizes weakness, insufficiency, and, dare I say it, being less than a complete man. You can’t govern yourself and need to check-in with your mommy. This is social suicide. As society tells us by millions of signals, a man, if nothing else, must be self-sufficient.
Are we insinuating caring too much about what your mom thinks is worse than caring too much about what your dad thinks? Have you ever heard of someone being labeled a daddy’s boy? Neither have I. I don’t spend too much time hung up on language, but there’s something more here. Have dads cornered the market on being the “right” person to teach a boy how to become a man. Making fun of anyone is another form of bullying and is ridiculous altogether, but if we are only making fun of those who care too much about what their most formative female voice thinks, it sounds like we’ve taken sides.
I can’t think of my mom this way. I don’t hear faults in her voice. She didn’t teach me to become a better man, but to become a better human being. She taught me tolerance, thoughtfulness, and self-respect. She loves me, but she also challenges me. Her love is a cheerleader, but also an activist. With her love came a challenge: make mom proud and be a good person.
The world needs more momma’s boys. We bash those who show an inkling of wondering too much what their moms might think, when we need more of them.
Too many men treat women as if their mother were not one herself.
Too many men have forgotten the lessons their mothers taught them. Share your toys. Play nice. Help others. Think before you speak. Believe in yourself. You are special.
Too many men have forgotten the kindness and empathy their mothers demonstrated as an example to follow.
Too many men act as if they have no mother at all.
Too many men have forgotten the challenge of making them proud.
To be a momma’s boy does not mean you need to check in with your madrecita; it means you are afraid to disappoint her. To not disappoint the person that is your no. 1 fan…isn’t that a challenge worth having?
My mother is a rock. She is the most constantly devoted and selfless person in my life. At five years old, while I could not sleep for many nights due to my asthma, she was there, waking with me. When I started to slack off at school because I didn’t see the point of it, she was there to push me back in the right direction. When I ran to her because I was too weak to stand tall against my bullies, she heard me without any judgement nor blame. If appreciating these things and trying to repay her somehow makes me a momma’s boy, then tell me where I can buy a dozen t-shirts with “Momma’s Boy Fo Life!” emblazoned across. (Who else wants one?)
I am proud to have mamitis. I am proud to be a momma’s boy. (And I love you mom)