Himay Zepeda has been called a momma’s boy, and he totally digs that. Here’s why.
During the childhood years when I was bullied, I constantly fled to my mom. She was the one person I knew I could count on whenever the world sucked and I needed help. At the time, I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know how to fight back. So I ran to my mom, looked up at her, and asked for help.
Soon enough I heard the chant of mamitis from my classmates. Mamitis is what we call being a momma’s boy in Mexico; it sounds like a disease, and it’s treated like one by the school kids. The teasing was worse than before. I had not only shown that I was a “wimp,” but that I was a wimp with mamitis.
Being a momma’s boy is never a good thing. At least that is not how most people view it. For most, it symbolizes weakness, insufficiency, and, dare I say it, being less than a complete man. You can’t govern yourself and need to check-in with your mommy. This is social suicide. As society tells us by millions of signals, a man, if nothing else, must be self-sufficient.
Are we insinuating caring too much about what your mom thinks is worse than caring too much about what your dad thinks? Have you ever heard of someone being labeled a daddy’s boy? Neither have I. I don’t spend too much time hung up on language, but there’s something more here. Have dads cornered the market on being the “right” person to teach a boy how to become a man. Making fun of anyone is another form of bullying and is ridiculous altogether, but if we are only making fun of those who care too much about what their most formative female voice thinks, it sounds like we’ve taken sides.
I can’t think of my mom this way. I don’t hear faults in her voice. She didn’t teach me to become a better man, but to become a better human being. She taught me tolerance, thoughtfulness, and self-respect. She loves me, but she also challenges me. Her love is a cheerleader, but also an activist. With her love came a challenge: make mom proud and be a good person.
The world needs more momma’s boys. We bash those who show an inkling of wondering too much what their moms might think, when we need more of them.
Too many men treat women as if their mother were not one herself.
Too many men have forgotten the lessons their mothers taught them. Share your toys. Play nice. Help others. Think before you speak. Believe in yourself. You are special.
Too many men have forgotten the kindness and empathy their mothers demonstrated as an example to follow.
Too many men act as if they have no mother at all.
Too many men have forgotten the challenge of making them proud.
To be a momma’s boy does not mean you need to check in with your madrecita; it means you are afraid to disappoint her. To not disappoint the person that is your no. 1 fan…isn’t that a challenge worth having?
My mother is a rock. She is the most constantly devoted and selfless person in my life. At five years old, while I could not sleep for many nights due to my asthma, she was there, waking with me. When I started to slack off at school because I didn’t see the point of it, she was there to push me back in the right direction. When I ran to her because I was too weak to stand tall against my bullies, she heard me without any judgement nor blame. If appreciating these things and trying to repay her somehow makes me a momma’s boy, then tell me where I can buy a dozen t-shirts with “Momma’s Boy Fo Life!” emblazoned across. (Who else wants one?)
I am proud to have mamitis. I am proud to be a momma’s boy. (And I love you mom)
Follow @theHiMay
Photo: Flickr/GabrielaP93
Mama’s boy is a boy trapped in a man’s body physically with very low self-esteem and no respect for himself. The issue here is : Is he her son or her little boy? Been married to a no backbone mama’s boy for quarter century. He gets mom approval for everything he does in his life including decade of infidelity. Planning with own family get change abruptly once his mom or sibling get involved. He is a disaster in own household, unhelpful, lazy, yet the opposite to his mom and sibling. He is married to them yet his siblings are married… Read more »
WOW! So many things in this article, to comment on,, and the biggest one is that phrase—-> “MAMA’S BOY” yecchh! I don’t care how GREAT or wholesome your relationship is with your mother, DON’T CALL YOURSELF A MAMA’S BOY! GROSS! I know you mean it to indicate something positive, and wholesome but it just doesn’t cut the mustard! Mama’s Boy. Eeeeewwwh!!! It’s DEGRADING AND MORTIFYING! SORRY, BUT IT IS, AND for BOTH PARTIES,too, THE MOM AND THE SON!!! regardless of however great a relationship is between a man (or a boy) and his mother, or how much respect and admiration… Read more »
I’ve been dating a momma’s boy for three years. His love for his mama (and his dad too) has made him the incredible man he is today, full of compassion, respect, and maturity.
Love to the mamas out there!
Right on!
You’re angry and you’re missing the point. Boys who are cared for and nurtured by their mothers grow up to be more well rounded caring individuals as opposed to the ones who have no regard whatsoever for their own mother or who’s mother had no interest in them. That’s the difference. Which one would you prefer? So simple.
This is perfect: “Boys who are cared for and nurtured by their mothers grow up to be more well rounded caring individuals as opposed to the ones who have no regard whatsoever for their own mother or who’s mother had no interest in them”
Excellent, thank you! As a mom of three boys, I hope I do as good a job as your mom at accepting and loving them fully, while holding high expectations for their choices and behavior. Accepting my kids for who they are and meeting their needs to the best of my ability is a departure from how I was raised, but it has paid off in spades, and it’s great to hear from a grown man about how it looks from his side. A separate comment: way back when I was single and dating, I was with a man who… Read more »
Thank you for sharing this story. It’s powerful and says a lot about the power the connection between mother and son can have (and how much good it can bring to everyone else in that son’s life).
Sorry, but no woman wants to marry a momma’s boy. It shows a lack of ability to grow up, and women do not want to compete against some man’s mommy. It is also the hallmark of a weak man who will “hide behind mommy” or “do everything for mommy” so he doesn’t have to give 100% to his wife or partner. After all, Mommy will never judge her “little man”. Grow the fuck up. Trust me, it has damaged many, many marriages, and if you google married to a momma’s boy you will find that women do NOT respect momma’s… Read more »
My adult son is a momma’s boy and is also pursued by many women. I’m sorry but you are wrong on this. He is a momma’s boy but that doesn’t make him a supplicating lap puppy like you are implying. All of the women in his life love me and tell me what a great young man I’ve raised. Then there are the older women who love and chase him too and call him cougar bait. So I’m sorry but you are misinformed. Many women find my momma’s boy son sexy and attractive. They basically wait in line to date… Read more »
I have been married for 24 years to a wonderful mama’s boy. Thankfully his mama is awesome but him being a mama’s boy has made him a better husband! My 16 year old son has watched his dad honor his mom and now he honors and loves me. Now he is proud to be a mama’s boy! Maybe your definition and mine are different….
Sr. Zepeda,
From one “nene de mami” to another, Excellent article.
to “Momma’s boys are damaged”
You will learn in life that the best way to know how a man will treat his wife, or even women in general, is by how he treats his mother. I think I don’t have to add anything else and leave it to your interpretation.
This is a fantastic discussion that has developed the question of “What does it mean to be a momma’s boy?” way more than I did in the article. Here are my thoughts: @Momma’s boys are damaged: I think you may be confusing the prominent definition of a momma’s boy (someone who hides behind the skirt or has no sort of self-worth) with my definition of a momma’s boy (a man who is proud of being raised and formed by his momma, and is proud of his love for her). @Marie Franklin: Thanks for sharing the story of your son. Momma’s… Read more »
To—–> “Mama’s Boys Are damaged”
AMEN TO THAT!!!!! I am In total agreement with you!!
And by the way, Your cut-to-the-chase- style of writing had me laughing my head off! Most Excellent!