By Into More
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“This is who I am. If you have a problem with it – it’s your problem, not mine.”
Transcript provided by YouTube:
00:00
what are your thoughts on coming out
00:01
videos coming up video
00:03
coming out video have you ever seen one
00:06
before actually i haven’t
00:07
i’ve seen some on uh 2b
00:12
what’s so funny about that
00:17
he’s making fun of you bob i know i’m
00:19
going to show you some coming out videos
00:21
and get your reaction to them oh great
00:23
sound good yeah yeah yes i want to see
00:26
them great let’s get started i can’t
00:28
wait
00:32
[Music]
00:34
i just want to thank all of you for
00:35
letting me feel your love
00:37
i hope you feel of mine very good um
00:39
it’s taken me a long time to get here
00:40
i am gay i’m asked to play so many
00:44
different roles
00:45
as an actor tonight i can actually be
00:48
myself
00:48
for the first time feels incredible
00:52
oh that’s wonderful it’s very courageous
00:54
of him
00:56
in a business that is tremendously
00:58
homophobic
00:59
but it sure has changed in the last
01:02
decade
01:03
yeah great speech and his
01:06
heartfelt emotions coming out was just
01:09
incredible
01:10
you could feel the joy that he had
01:13
do you know who that is no colton haynes
01:17
he’s known by a younger generation
01:20
yes and we’re old gays
01:24
what’s happening in the video he’s
01:26
feeling his freedom
01:27
and it’s nice to feel that and get
01:30
acknowledged for being who you are
01:32
and knowing that you have support it’s a
01:34
validation
01:35
of who you are a declaration of who you
01:38
are and it’s
01:39
liberating i also get a good feeling
01:42
because i think each of us in our own
01:45
small way help make this
01:48
possible it is so natural now
01:52
and i think it has to do with
01:55
a whole lot of us just being ourselves
01:59
and letting society accept us
02:02
for who we are
02:09
so what did you think of the video it
02:11
was smooth and very
02:12
um informative without saying a word yes
02:16
totally captivating but i think that was
02:19
communicating
02:20
gayness at many different levels
02:23
queerness even
02:24
yeah what would you describe as
02:26
happening in the video
02:27
the more his gay identity
02:30
revealed itself the more elaborate the
02:34
costuming was
02:36
the more emotion there was
02:39
to the dance while that brought to him
02:43
an element of joy it also brought
02:46
an element of questioning and conflict
02:50
how did it make you feel i felt it as
02:52
being a minority it was another minority
02:55
and it’s harder for us why i’d like to
02:58
know that
02:59
why because you would think that
03:01
minorities would understand and be more
03:03
caring but it’s just the opposite in the
03:06
black community the asian community
03:08
the latin community we want to be
03:10
accepted but sometimes it’s hard and you
03:13
just have to walk away and plant your
03:15
feet strong and say this is who i am
03:17
if you have a problem with it it’s your
03:20
problem
03:21
not mine when you come out of the closet
03:24
you’re out
03:25
you have to live your life as a gay
03:27
openly gay person
03:29
there’s no way of going back in don’t
03:31
want to and each day
03:33
that you are out of the closet the
03:35
happier you will be
03:36
i lost one of my earphones and i don’t
03:40
know where it went
03:42
it’s still not sticking i have deformed
03:46
ears
03:46
i can see that oh i think i know this
03:50
one
03:50
i’d like to he’s hot when you finally
03:53
get to that point of acceptance
03:56
there’s nothing more beautiful and i
03:58
think the country is ready or
04:00
an openly gay uh basketball player
04:02
that’s right what do you think
04:04
i remember this there’s always got to be
04:06
a first and i
04:07
think he opened a lot of doors too he
04:10
was just being himself
04:11
and then he added the i’m gay and they
04:14
go oh
04:14
okay whatever there was nothing to be
04:17
scared of because they knew
04:19
him good point yeah yeah well i i went
04:22
through that
04:23
my my life i i’m just say who happens to
04:26
be black
04:28
who happens to be gay but i’m still me
04:32
but there’s a strength in knowledge
04:33
knowing that it’s not me
04:35
with the problem it’s the other guy
04:37
who’s got the problem yes
04:39
exactly that’s what it’s about i’ve
04:41
never come out i’ve just been me if
04:43
somebody asked
04:44
i’d say i’m gay but i don’t put it out
04:46
there and publicize it
04:48
because i’m just me and if you have a
04:50
problem with that
04:51
i’ve gotten at the age now i’m an old
04:53
gay it’s like you got a problem deal
04:55
with a baby
04:56
i don’t have time and it’s finally time
04:58
for me to share something with you guys
05:01
i am transgendered oh pretty too i just
05:04
want there to be a time where mona has
05:06
to hide who they are
05:07
but now it’s my turn to step up good for
05:10
you girl
05:11
great great dissertation on her part it
05:14
seems to me that she has
05:16
enough ambitions and feelings of her own
05:18
self-worth
05:19
that at such an early age she can go do
05:22
this
05:23
i think the most profound
05:26
words she said nobody else is
05:30
gonna believe you unless you believe
05:32
yourself
05:33
i can’t i can’t even imagine going
05:35
through what she’s gone through she
05:36
hasn’t worn a dress since she was 12
05:38
years old she said
05:40
i really applaud her for her rationale
05:43
and how she presented everything she’s
05:46
being herself
05:47
yes i’m i’m gay and
05:50
austin awesomeness too
05:58
they’re blessed to have had each other
05:59
and they’re extremely blessed to have a
06:02
very
06:03
understanding father i felt his warmth
06:06
can you explain what’s happening in the
06:07
video they’re calling their dad because
06:09
they want to come out to him
06:10
because they want to be themselves with
06:12
him but they want
06:14
their dad to hear it from them before
06:17
he hears it on
06:20
i was remarking about the little ticks
06:24
that they would do the way they would
06:25
touch their face and things like that
06:27
how nervous they were
06:28
did it feel relatable i could understand
06:32
their nervousness and and apprehension
06:36
but i’ve never experienced telling
06:39
my parents that i was gay so
06:43
i’ve never been there my dad died
06:47
in my first year of college and so there
06:50
really never
06:51
was much of a chance you know what i did
06:54
what my dad died the first year of
06:56
college i hadn’t come out to him
06:58
in that coffin i came out to him and it
07:01
was
07:02
a freeing moment because i got to say it
07:05
to him
07:05
but i knew too that if i’d said it when
07:08
he was alive that
07:09
i would probably be dead yeah
07:13
and that was like when i when i said
07:14
that it’s like
07:16
everything lifted in my world it’s like
07:18
i feel like i
07:19
i can breathe i am me now and i started
07:23
to live for the first time
07:25
is there anything all these videos have
07:27
in common fear
07:28
it’s a strength and it’s a very
07:31
emotional
07:32
experience do you think these videos are
07:34
helping people
07:35
i hope oh yeah i would think so i i
07:38
think the greatest thing that all these
07:40
videos showed
07:41
was the relief of what happens after
07:44
someone
07:45
says it just lifting those weights off
07:48
their shoulders they can feel
07:50
at peace with themselves it’s a form of
07:54
liberation
07:54
what did you think of this experience
07:56
moving it was
07:58
did you learn anything new that there’s
08:00
more than one way of telling your story
08:02
did you have anything comparable to
08:04
coming out videos back when you were
08:05
looking for resources
08:06
no way absolutely dream
08:10
on we didn’t have any peers we could
08:12
even talk to
08:13
we didn’t even have the internet we
08:16
didn’t even have
08:17
role models do you wish you did yeah
08:20
yeah
08:20
it would have made it would have
08:21
happened yes why is coming out
08:23
so important the purpose of coming out
08:26
and coming out to each other and being
08:27
important for each other is for other
08:29
gay people
08:30
who may still be in the closet to say
08:33
yeah i can do this too
08:34
because the more we keep coming out
08:37
the more we can’t be denied that’s right
08:41
and it’s important to come out so that
08:42
everybody around us
08:45
and each other understands who we are
08:57
you
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Photo credit: Screenshot from video