It has been 8 years of their relationship, and she caught him cheating for the 5th time during this time. Still, she wants to give him a chance because she thinks he loves her too much and No one can love her like he does.
And now she has a question: How can she change his cheating behavior? Is it possible?
Whenever I hear the words “cheating,” “affairs, and “infidelity,” one famous quote by Peter Lerangis always comes to mind:
“Trust is a fragile thing — difficult to build, easy to break.”
And believe me, it’s very hard to fix.
Cheating is one of the big reasons for heartbreak and breakups in both married and unmarried couples.
If we talk about the statistics of both married and unmarried couples, you’ll be surprised at how common they are.
30 to 60 percent of married people cheat at some point in their marriage, according to the LA Intelligence and Detective Agency. Furthermore, the LA Intelligence and Detective Agency reports that 74% of men and 68% of women would engage in an affair if they were confident they would remain undetected.
And where did this cheating begin? According to LA intelligence, 60 percent of affairs start with a close friend or coworker.
For example, Miya, who was married and worked as a teacher, became closer to a coworker at her school. What began as friendly chats and lunches together turned into an affair in the end. Miya never thought she would cheat on her husband, but the urge was too strong to refuse.
These kinds of situations happen all too often these days when people are always testing the limits of their relationships. Whether they are married or not.
By looking at these numbers, we can see how often this cheating happens. Infidelity is a common problem that a lot of people have trouble with.
Cheating But Why?
But why do these people cheat??
To find out why I was cheating, I went to my college psychology professor. As much as I know she is an expert in human behavior and relationships.
I asked about the Question.
“People cheat for many reasons,” she said. “Sometimes it’s the thrill of something new and exciting, failing to connect emotionally, or feeling neglected or alone. People often cheat not because they want to hurt their partner, but because they’re looking for something that’s missing in their relationship.
According to her, people cheat for the following reasons:
- No physical satisfaction
- Wanting emotional validation from others
- Ego problems and wanting to seek revenge sometimes
- Loneliness and emotional detachment
- Want to try something new?
In all of the above, I didn’t understand the second, “Wanting emotional validation and asked, for example.
She said that some people may look for emotional validation from other people because they feel ignored or unappreciated in their current relationship. This could show up as compliments, attention, or praise from someone who isn’t in the relationship.
For example, Tom might seek emotional validation from other girls because he feels insecure and wants to feel desired. He does it to feel good about himself and boost his ego.
But Do Once A cheater is always a cheater?
Before Let me go a little bit scientific.
Do you know what makes us feel guilty if we are doing something that we shouldn’t be doing?
A study that looks into the neurological reasons for lying and betrayal. it says that both actions have a strong negative effect on the amygdala, which is a brain part that helps us process our feelings. This response is linked to the guilt people feel after they lie.
But here is the catch.
It shows that the body is becoming less sensitive because the amygdala’s negative response lessens with each new lie.
This helps explain why lying starts small and gets worse over time. As time goes on, the mental barriers that keep people from lying fall away, letting bigger lies happen.
Since I learned about the above study, I find it hard to think that Cheater changes.
But that’s not true. People change.
To find the real truth, I visited social media sites and communities.
I read a few stories that say anyone can change, even if they’ve been dishonest in the past. Although these stories may show that some people have fallen very far into lies, they still have the power to grow and change.
According to one study, people who have cheated on their partners before are more likely to do it again.
30% of people who have cheated on their partners before cheat on their current partners, while only 13% of people who have never cheated before cheat.
Researchers Frank Dattilio, and others have talked about this “threshold effect,” which means that once someone cheats, they feel like doing it again won’t matter as much.
However, 70% of those who had cheated on their partners in the past stayed true in their current relationships, which shows that things could change.
From my point of view, I believe that cheating is a choice. Although it is not true.
But if someone is cheating twice or thrice. Better get rid of it.
I won’t wait for the 5th or 6th time.
People who cheat choose to do so, and it is important to take responsibility for what we do.
It could mean that someone isn’t fully committed to the relationship or their partner if they cheat on them a lot. It might be better to end the relationship now instead of waiting for the cheating to get worse.
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I hope you enjoyed the read. If you like this then subscribe to my medium Newsletter. The Blog post was based on my knowledge, opinion, and research.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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