For Mexican citizens wishing to enter the US, once scanned, branded and processed they meet with none other than Mr. Tony Robbins.
It is time to take a satirical look at the future and see what the 2016 election results will produce regarding a wall on the United States-Mexico border. Let’s see, the couple of thousand mile stretch is estimated to cost $10’s of billions to construct. Don’t count on any gas tax increases to fund our failing bridges, roads, and tunnels for quite a long time. Instead just stay and work at home.
For me, this is just the beginning of what will likely be the largest pomp and circumstance period of our collective lifetimes.
Here is how I see it.
The Donald will construct the wall in two pieces, simultaneously. He will employ world-class architecture, construction, labor and technology on the US side, and Mexican day laborers on the other. I see a wall that arches towards Mexico to the South and a second wall with an opposite arch to the North towards the US. That way no one will ever be able to scale the wall and make it in here. At this time, it is unknown what filler will be used to bridge the gap between the walls.
In the future, there will be only one way to enter Mexico. By design, there will be only one way to come to the United States, too.
Future border passages will be amply titled “In” and “Out” with each crossing sponsored by the burger franchise with former singer Adele as the spokeswoman. To exit the US and cross the border, people will pass through the golden, pearly gates from newly established, Trump Town, with the zip code $10.B+, in Texas. It will be here where the hats are tall, and guns and cattle are free.
Americans who qualify to leave the US for Mexico meet at the gates with Rockette dancers who raise and lower their yams in unison. Fortunately, they are exact replicas of one another and Mr. Trumps daughter, Ivanka. Just drop your token in the slot machine, tune your radio to Sirius Radio Trump 16, and queue up for the show as you enter Mexico.
For Mexican citizens wishing to enter the US, once scanned, branded and processed they greet with none other than Mr. Tony Robbins. He will teach them how to walk on burning coals with bare feet, before accessing the drawbridge that only opens once a month. As Hombres approach the bridge to cross Trump Guantomino Moat, they are encouraged to drop their knives and guns into the Trump Incinerator. Here the steel melts into a liquid and is then funneled underground for 2000 miles to become the foundation for the Trump Canuck Wall, also called the Northern Wall, with Canada. Ironically, this is scheduled for completion simultaneously with The Donald’s second inauguration in 2021.
The future promises American safety; with protection from both north and south by walls with no possible attack by sea. In another decade, it will be virtually impossible to enter US shores from the Atlantic or Pacific with all the plastic and debris washing up on them.
By that time, The Donald’s current spat with Elon Musk will likely have been repaired. Only then, will Messrs. Musk and Trump figure out, after the success of the “F-NAFTA” self-anointed campaign, how to rule the skies during his third term in the highest office in our land.
My best, Chris
This article originally appeared on Linked In
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