The parents of Luke and Adam Monastero are most certainly in the running for Best Parents of The Year due to this video.
In the hidden camera video, Luke and Adam, twin brothers, have decided to come out to their parents, record the conversation and let the chips fall where they may.
After viewing the video I think there are a few great comments and even some takeaways for us as men, us as parents and us a just plain old human beings.
Typical Mom, Typical Dad
I like the fact that they seem to be a very typical family. Dad’s eating, Mom’s cooking, and begging the kids to eat. Dad doesn’t even seem to break stride nibbling on his jerk chicken when the big reveal happens. He could have done a spit take or started throwing things, but he just kept on eating and let the scene play out. Either he is a cool dad, or it’s good chicken and he doesn’t want to waste it or let it get cold, or both. I’m leaning toward the latter.
First Reaction Sets The Tone
The most important part of this video is the parents immediate and first reaction. They were calm, they were accepting and they were inquisitive. Dad continues eating, and Mom takes the lead, which is wonderful. These are her boys, her children, and she loves them and this is just more information about them. They ask questions. They make statements. I think it’s great that they say something along the lines of “we knew” or “we thought” because parents, if they are connected to their kids, almost always do know. I think that if a parent starts getting that intuitive hit, they should really take the time to think carefully about how they are going to react when that hit becomes reality. By being calm, accepting and even inquisitive, the parents have set the tone for the rest of the conversation and probably the rest of their life when it comes to their sons’ sexuality.
The Twins Did It Right
From the very beginning of the video, you can tell that Adam and Luke are close, love each other and have each others back when it comes to this announcement and subsequent reaction and fallout. They have a great sense of humor, which helps lighten the mood, but you can also tell that they are scared. They might have a hint of which way the conversation is going to go, but you can never be sure. Sexuality, and our attitude towards it is very personal and very visceral. Negative reactions happen every day.
Not Every Gay Man or Woman Has It This Lucky
As we see with the link above, coming out to your family can go horribly wrong and the aftermath can be horrifying. For every positive story, there are probably twice as many negative stories. Stories that can end with abandonment, injury or even death for the child. Even though we should always highlight the positive stories, we should also bring to light the negative ones, because by viewing both we can all learn lessons. We can all learn how we might handle the same situation, and they can offer us the opportunity to take some time to talk about it with our partner, and see how they feel, see if they are on the same page. Videos like this open up a dialogue, and that’s excellent.
It’s Up To Us
As fathers, I would hope that we all would be as kind and as almost nonchalant as Mr. Monastero. He continues eating, asks a few salient questions, and then goes about his day. There’s no drama. There’s no hate, anger or sadness, only some concern about his boys relationships with their other friends, both male and female.
As men, it’s up to us to lead the way when it comes to how we relate to others. Are we extending a fist, or are we extending an open hand in friendship. Even if we fundamentally disagree with whatever that person’s lifestyle choice is, we can always choose to react with kindness.
As members of the human race, I would like to think that if there were more parents like these, we would be well on our way to healing the planet. Kids would be able to express who they truly are, every facet, and become loving, kind, accepting members of our little club that’s currently 7 billion strong.
Once we break that cycle, that population become more loving, more kind and more accepting.
Thank you, Mr and Mrs Monastero, for showing us all the way.
William Mize is a Certified Life Coach who is very good at helping men create a better life. Armed with a quick wit, a caring heart and an encyclopedic knowledge of Star Trek, Star Wars, comic books and movies, he helps his clients create a better life one step at a time, one day at a time. His free eBook is pretty awesome. You should totally get it. Find him online at BecomeABetterMan.com or on Twitter @willmize