…and the answer is different from what you’d expect.
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I’m not necessarily angered by the state of the world, the greed, the slavery, the genocide or the deliberate actions to control history for the current future.
I think I’m angered the most by a simple thought that runs through my mind…
…you fell for it again.
Looking back, I remember not understanding the world, but knowing something was fundamentally wrong… planned almost… feeling edgy and offended… but by what I don’t know.
“That’s not right” or “that’s mean” is something I remember as well.
Then it got to be the time where I was acting like all the things I now despise. I regurgitated words and actions I thought would be acceptable to my peers. I needed to fit in to the TV world surrounding me…
I needed to be a character like those who are praised.
An emotion would crop up every now and again, the emotion contradicted all I saw, but I’d ignore it.
I still remember a very profound moment when a good friend slapped my logic with simple fact. I was stating how Mexicans (one part of my indigenous bloodline) were stealing jobs from us good American folks. (Please note, I used the term “Mexican” in the most venomous way. Mexican was dirty, stupid and lazy… oh how this embarrasses me today)
He looked at me and said:
- How many politicians pick oranges?
- For that matter, how Americans actually work the fields?
- How many white Americans are there fighting for those slave wage Jobs?
BAM! That was the very first time in my life I couldn’t answer with a smart ass TV defined remark.
I had to face the truth at that moment.
But what was the truth? I had to find out on my own. I had to think. I had to evaluate something for the first time in my life. The thought that came across was…
…you fell for it again.
Those weren’t the actual words that went through my mind, but I still get the feeling to this day, especially while I unlearn something.
Now that I’ve come to this point in life, I accept everything I ever learned is a lie. Am I angry that’s its all a lie for an agenda? No, I’m angry because deep inside I feel, before I was born to this very life, I was fooled and tricked.
…You fell for it again…
I ate the forbidden fruit and realized much too late the promises were in fact false. Before rebirth, I truly understood the illusion and brought it with me to my new body.
…you fell for it again…
And this new body at some point forgot again what the soul knew before completing its journey…
And in this life when I was little, I may have remembered the injustice and later taught myself to forget yet again.
I am angered because at some point between being a child and an adult(?) I allowed it to happen one more time.
So if I seem angry to you, maybe you should ask yourself if you fell for it? If the answer feels like a yes, I suggest you look to see what it is you fell for…
…then hopefully you have compassion for my anger.
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