INTERNAL WORLD
No insult. No lie. No word. No unfair treatment. No miscarriage of justice. No external factor can assault the inner citadel of a psychological fortification. When we observe what another’s’ actions really tell us their external behavior does not bother us.
AGE OF MATERIALISM
Some people worship this concept. Others plan their careers around this concept. Few plan their lives around anything but achievement. We were misled to believe goals of materialism substantiated all life goals. Little thought has been given to deep philosophy on purpose in the 21st century.
We trend towards science, which claimed to unveil all truths. And science did unveil some truths. Just not the ones they claimed. GPS has been great for taking cross country trips, BUT it’s been useless to people who don’t know why they should live somewhere. Cell phone towers have been excellent for instantly messaging our spouses, BUT it creates anxiety in those who lack self-worth. Microchips replaced laborious tasks with instantaneous results BUT extra time to the undeveloped mind resulted in dead scrolling on social media.
The age of materialism promised much and delivered a lot. It just skipped over some consequences which have contributed to weak states of mind.
MATERIALLY WEAK MENTALITIES
Humans lost appreciation for the things manual processes taught. Patience is a virtue. We know this saying. Despite our knowledge of its common usage few opportunities exist to sharpen it. Everything in modern western society is designed around convenience.
Mobile applications, Alexa and Siri are some examples that come to mind. Each one eliminates time requirements, cuts down on physical actions and increases efficiency.
I am not advocating for the dismissal of these technologies. I am arguing that we must make time to conduct manual processes. The mind is like the body. Failure to exercise its capacity weakens it.
Over time the mind becomes fragile without manual process training. Lack of comfort pains it. Waiting for processes to complete tortures it. Failure to instantly respond offends it.
These are all signs of a frail mind which lacks mental fortitude. This mind has no walls to defend itself. It is harmed by even the smallest of pain. Be it an ant bite or a hurtful word.
TRANSITIONING TO RELATIONSHIP DESTRUCTION
It is no surprise lack of mental fortitude correlates with increased marriage failures. My mother always told me marriage was hard. No one ever told me growing up marriage would consistently maintain the happiest moments of my life.
Quite the contrary.
My parents taught me commitment required sacrifice, hard work, discipline and faith. The reward for marriage was complete trust and support during impossible times. My parents are from the baby boomer generation. They are from the last generation which was required to do everything manually.
It is no secret they are the wealthiest generation in American History. Although a large part of it can be credited to the generation which served in World War II (WWII) — we can never forget WWII wealth was dramatically increased through subsequent competition, hardship, sacrifice, discipline and faith.
Somehow marriage morphed into another thing. Marriage today is a situation which is always supposed to make you “happy”. If marriage is defined solely by a constant state of happiness I argue it’s a rational conclusion all marriages should end in divorce. Nothing can make you happy all the time. As a matter of fact, happiness is an extreme emotion. It’s like saying I want to be excited all the time. That’s plain impossible. It’s logical to say that a person shouldn’t get married at all if there goal is to feel any extreme emotion all the time. My argument is not that happiness shouldn’t exist in marriage. I’m arguing constant states of being should not be the benchmark we measure for marriage (be it happiness, content, peace, et cetera).
There is a sad thing about a conclusion which requires constant happiness. Podcasts like Fresh & Fit Podcast promote never marrying (with exception to religious marriages). The feminist version of Fresh & Fit is Single Mothers By Choice — which says the same thing. My last article delved into the heavy repercussions of this thinking. Read it for the citations to support these statements. This frame of thinking has been catastrophic for our last two generations (millennials and generation z).
My previous article documented how children who recently became adults are: less emotionally stable, more impulsive, have lower emotional quotient (official term for emotional intelligence), are less empathetic, and are less ethical (following through with their words).
One new citation I have for you is Generation Z is the least sought-after type of employee and reportedly worst to manage.
PROTECTING PEACE IS AN INTERNAL EXERCISE
You read me advocate about virtue a lot. Probably it is the most reiterating concept you will see available on the mediums I publish. I do this because we cannot control the external world around us. No matter how much we try it is not possible.
In my international best selling book, “I Made It Then I Didn’t”, I document some of my circumstances which were quite daunting. My daughter wrote me a letter the other day asking how in the world I stay sane. In her eyes it appears that everyone is out to get me. To her I am her hero. In her eyes I am generous, kind, empathetic, forgiving, strong and a host of other attributes. If I were to succumb to the notion that everything in my life must go well to be at peace — I would be at constant war instead.
There is truth to some of it. My life is highly controversial. It has been full of: false accusations, betrayals, insults, theft, corruption, process abuse, physical violence and prideful people seeking revenge.
Quite a tall order, isn’t it?
Despite this reality I maintain internal peace. I know none of the things of the external world reside inside of me. None of those things are my burden to carry. Every single one of these actions tells me about others. It says nothing about me. It is simply other words used to describe what some think about me based on their perceptions. Simply meet me and ask questions.
Facts often say different things than narratives.
THE SECRET TO PSYCHOLOGICAL FORTIFICATION
Practicing acceptance is difficult for most. As many want to believe, they can change things. Accepting things as they are, without fighting for desired results, seems like a loser’s mentality.
It’s not.
It’s reframing perspective to recognize controlling others is impossible.
What matters is: intentions (always being good & ethical), purpose and effort.
If the above three things line up with excellent values — it doesn’t matter if others misinterpret my actions. Someone saying something doesn’t make it true. It just means someone’s saying something. This is the secret to Psychological Fortification. This same principle should apply to you as well.
VALUES & VIRTUES WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE?
For your inner peace to be undisturbed it requires you to adopt excellent values. Values are principles you accept as good. These values will only remain during stress if you develop virtues. That’s why I advocate virtue. Virtues are assets you call upon to preserve integrity. Virtues also translate to character traits.
I forgave my arrestors in person who purposefully misled my judge to issue a subsequent arrest warrant in error. It wasn’t about me acting high and mighty. It was about me realizing I cannot control another person. More importantly I have a desire to maintain the virtue of forgiveness. Me undergoing temporary detention at the hands of nefarious actors to punish me, in an effort to pressure me to make a mistake (in an effort to possibly catch an evading arrest charge or resisting arrest), is not my burden. These actions say nothing about me but say everything about them.
It’s easy to not steal food when you have just finished dinner. Could you not steal a loaf of bread when you lack money and haven’t eaten for three days?
Your values may dictate stealing is wrong but without the virtue of resilience your integrity to hold unto this value during hardship will be undermined.
I practice forgiveness as a virtue.
Hard times serve to expose the hypocrites. Never forget that. As you can see from the above, I mean what I say. I am not a keyboard warrior.
Three Ways To Develop Virtue (Use Them)
1. Set Firm Schedules & Keep Them. Consistency is the cornerstone to everything. You cannot have virtue if it is conditional. Period. Set consistent schedules and keep them. Your first virtue must be consistency.
2. Box Breathe. If you don’t know what this is it’s when you take a deep breath, hold it and slowly let it out. Some trainers in the military teach this technique to people during fire fights. It’s measured in intervals of 4s. This is how I breathe during extreme stress, violent situations or blind-siding events. It allows clear decisive action over impulse knee jerk reactions. Your second virtue is self-composure.
3. Exercise To Discomfort. I know this seems simple. You cannot develop virtue if you do not seek discomfort. Exhibiting virtue under no stress means very little. Exhibiting virtue under stress means everything. Exercising with weights to the point of lactic acid release (burning sensation) or doing cardio to the point where you want to take a break (but continuing anyways) does wonders for your next virtue which is resilience.
The Value of This Philosophy
· A firm bedtime routine for instance is associated with increased family functioning and improved sleep habits. (2)
· This will lower your stress level instantly when you do this. It is well researched and proven. (3)
· Sustained physical activity is associated with decreased markers of inflammation, improved metabolic health, decreased risk of heart failure, and improved overall survival. (4)
IN CLOSING
Sign up for free to listen free of charge to my chapter in “Many Paths To Profit” to read about how I look at things. This dynamic form of observing and reframing will help you. I have a free podcast called Hustle Kick as well which teaches you my concepts for free.
You can pick up a copy of my international best-selling and award winning book, “I Made It Then I Didn’t” as well for a deeper insight on some of the psychology I use to take me through difficult circumstances.
The concept I teach in this article is free. Some of my personal stories are not free of charge as everything costs something. I use the techniques I discuss in this article. The purpose of reading this is to help people develop psychological fortification.
If you are not aware how lack of psychological fortification is degrading lifelong relationships, it’s critical you read this. Marriage like any relationship is rocky. If both parties are grounded in strong ethical values and both take time to develop virtue the reward is integrity. Technology has eroded what previous generations developed naturally. We must consciously do what our parents and grandparents took for granted. Read above and let me know what you think.
To Your Knowledge Success!
Sources
1) The life of Christopher Knight Lopez a Professional Hustler turned International Best Seller and Published Author of “I Made It Then I Didn’t”.
2) Mindell JA, Leichman ES, Lee C, Williamson AA, Walters RM. Implementation of a nightly bedtime routine: how quickly do things improve? Infant Behav Dev. 2017;49:220–227. doi: 10.1016/j.infbeh.2017.09.013
3) Mellis Yilmaz Blban, et al. “Brief structured respiration practices enhance mood and reduce physiological arousal”. Cell Rep Med. 2023 Jan 10;4(1):100895. doi: 10.1016/j.xcrm.2022.100895
4) Che L, Li D. The effects of exercise on cardiovascular biomarkers: new Insights, recent data, and applications. Adv Exp Med Biol. (2017) 999:43–53. 10.1007/978–981–10–4307–9_3
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Not a form of investment advice. Please consult a professional registered to give you advice about your individual circumstance. This article is for educational purposes and entertainment purposes only. Please do not email the author about advice on investing or strategies on making investments.
About Christopher: Christopher Knight Lopez is a Professional Hustler turned International Best Seller, Award Winner of the December 2024 prestigious International Impact Book Awards — a premier award program dedicated to celebrating and recognizing the exceptional work of authors around the globe and Published Author of “I Made It Then I Didn’t”. He is also a Co-Author with Kevin “The Shark” Harrington “Many Paths To Profit”. See more at www.christopherklopez.com.
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