After surviving the devastating 2004 tsunami, Sam de Silva says, “Despite the pain, there is still hope.”
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My name is Sam.
In 2004, I was caught in the Boxing Day Asian tsunami whilst on Koh Phi Phi island, on the west coast of Thailand.
My story of the search and rescue, what happened in the years that followed with regards to eventually being diagnosed with PTSD, and dealing with the aftermath of trauma was featured in a BBC World documentary.
Also featured in the documentary are Vietnam War veteran Tom Burger, Professor Simon Wessley, and Dr. Jennifer Wild.
I was lucky enough to be personally treated for PTSD by Dr. Jennifer Wild, an Oxford University clinical psychologist and media expert in the field of psychology.
After seeing Dr. Wild on BBC news talking about PTSD, I contacted her. After which I was fortunate enough to participate in an internationally funded clinical trial at Oxford University for the latest treatment for PTSD.
After the BBC documentary was aired, several UK-based TV production companies were interested in producing a follow-up video documentary on my story and return to Koh Phi Phi, Thailand.
There was considerable interest in my PTSD treatment, as all my treatment sessions with Dr. Wild were filmed, and my progress was independently monitored in detail for the benefit of the clinical trial.
A key aspect of my PTSD treatment was writing my trauma narrative, where I could work through the self-destructive thought patterns I had developed.
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Additionally, a key aspect of my PTSD treatment was writing my trauma narrative. Being supported and guided to write my trauma narrative helped me get to the point where we could work through the trigger points of the trauma, and alter some the self-destructive thought patterns that I had developed. I have no writing background, but all 40,000 words of my writing are from my heart and were written initially for therapy three years ago.
The reason so many TV production companies were interested was due to the prestigious BBC documentary I was involved in, the detailed writing of my trauma narrative and PTSD treatment process from a patient’s perspective, and the level of documentation regarding my PTSD treatment in terms of the monitoring due to the clinical trial.
After having contact with several TV production companies, I met with the director and producer of Chimerica Media. Because of their empathy, vision, and enthusiasm for my writing, I decided to let them pitch their documentary concept.
In April 2013, Chimerica Media, Nial Ferguson’s TV production company, filmed a 10-minute documentary pitch video, which was internationally pitched to broadcasters as a feature-length, 10-year anniversary documentary.
They pitched a 3-month shoot filming in Thailand, Sri Lanka, Japan, London and California, with the idea of integrating footage from my treatment sessions at Oxford University. They would follow me around the world as I planned to confront and face up to aspects of my past. At the time, they were also extremely interested in getting my trauma narrative published. Despite many broadcasters expressing interests in the documentary concept, it was rejected.
The rejection personally was a huge relief. I agreed to the documentary pitch because I knew it could help raise awareness for mental health and those who suffer from trauma in silence. However, I was always in two minds about it and honestly felt uncomfortable at my personal journey of recovery being the subject of a feature-length documentary, especially as my story was just one of millions of survivors in one of the biggest natural disasters in recorded history which killed more than 400,000. I really thought it could help and wanted to help others, but I was unsure whether the documentary was the best thing for my own recovery.
Once I received word of the rejection, I booked my flights and left for at least the one-year trip that I had planned well before any TV production involvement.
Things were going well, until…
In December 2013, six months after leaving London and approximately a month after returning to Koh Phi Phi for the first time since the tsunami, I was almost killed in a self-destructive, alcohol-fueled motorbike accident.
I hope my blog can help others realise that they’re not alone—that despite the pain, there is still hope.
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The shock of being hospitalised and narrowly escaping a serious head injury triggered a lot of self-reflection and was the triggering event which made me decide to start writting for the public.
I hope by reading this you better understand where I’m at with my journey. Things are a lot better since receiving the PTSD treatment. My life is far from perfect, but I feel I’m progressing.
I hope my words can help others realise that they’re not alone, and despite, the pain there is still hope.
Originally published on PTSDJedi. Reprinted with permission.
Photos provided by author.