Quit Treating Compromise Like a Dirty Word!

Like all things in life, when we start to pay attention to something it shows up in everything we see. Lately this has been around the advice and comments of people who treat compromise like the “C” word.

Post after post, comment after comment, I read comments like the one that finally put me over the top today. Something along the lines of “if you have to compromise you are with the wrong person”.

First things first: When I talk about compromise I’m talking about the process of sharing life with someone and making decisions that incorporate both of your wants, needs and desires.

I am not and will not recommend or endorse compromising your core values or who you are to be in a relationship, that means not changing who you are at your core.

One of my favorite relational quotes:

“If two people agree on everything, one of them is unnecessary”

— Winston Churchill

If two people could ever really agree on EVERYTHING one of them would indeed be unnecessary, or in more realistic relationship terms, one parter would grow bored of the other because they bring nothing to the relationship.

So what does this really mean for our long-term relationships?

It means that we will be with someone who is different from us, which inherently means that if we want to do life WITH them then there will be a constant need for compromise.

So how do we embrace compromise in our relationships without feeling like we are giving up, giving in, or being taken advantage of?

Its simple, the term compromise means that we share in the decisions, we share in the power, and share in the ownership. It means that some of the time we get exactly what we want, in other times our partner does, and mostly it means finding a place where each partner gets a little of what they want and gives up a little bit of what they wanted to find a common ground.

If you are reading this and find that you are triggered I challenge you to evaluate your readiness and willingness to be in a partnership and invite you to do some personal work to determine why it is you think that you should be the one to get everything you want!

Stop treating compromise like a dirty word!

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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