One of Aretha Franklin’s most famous songs is her smash 60s hit ‘Respect.’ And one of the most well-known stanzas is this one:
“R-E-S-P-E-C-T [spelled out],
Find out what it means to me.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T,
Take care of TCB.”
[‘TCB’ means taking care of business — I had to double-check.]
In this essay, I’m going to use Aretha Franklin’s (actually, Otis Redding’s) lyrics as a jumping-off point, to explore the vital need for ‘respect’ in today’s world — and also, the dire consequences that flow from the lack of interpersonal respect.
What IS respect, really?
If you’re a sentient, aware human being, you’ve probably noticed there’s a profound lack of respect that permeates our societies. I’m not talking about gangsta-style or Trumpian ‘respect,’ which is based on cruel intimidation and fear — and there’s plenty of that — but actual, deep interpersonal respect and tolerance.
I’m talking about an intentional honoring of other peoples’ humanity, choices, and beliefs — something akin to the meaning of the Hindu greeting ‘Namaste,’ which literally means ‘I bow to you,’ but is often understood more expansively as ‘the God in me honors the God in you.’
The essential act here, to me, is the direct honoring of another person — whether it flows from religious belief or not.
Sadly, religious beliefs and conceptions of ‘God’ have often been used to divide and separate us — Christian from Hindu, Jew from Muslim, etc. — far more than to unite and heal. So, to my mind, ‘belief in God’ is NOT an essential ingredient of respect — but an open heart and a deep acceptance of others’ life choices are essential.
We don’t have to like everything that other people do — but short of blindly accepting people hurting or abusing others, interpersonal respect demands that we DO accept their choices and embrace their freedom to speak and act as they wish.
Many right-wing laws and attitudes are highly disrespectful
That’s why I have a lot of trouble with, and strongly take issue with, most current GOP attempts to limit and restrict the rights and freedoms of women, Blacks, immigrants, workers, LGBTQ+ folks, and many others.
These ‘moralistic’ or ‘Christian’ approaches to controlling and limiting others are not ‘moral’ at all — OR Christian — and stem from fear, heartlessness, and judgmental cruelty. Often, these and similar controlling, disapproving attitudes lead to harsh, demeaning, or even abusive laws — and are highly DISrespectful of others’ freedom and autonomy.
I can think of many current laws or GOP initiatives that are flagrantly offensive and disrespectful, including laws severely limiting abortions, undercutting family planning, harassing transgender kids and their families, and shaming and controlling gays, lesbians, and many others whose sexual choices or proclivities are ‘different’ or non-heterosexual.
When are ‘pro-life’ activists actually anti-life?
No matter how much abortion foes call themselves ‘pro-life,’ I remain unconvinced — since they treat women horribly, and also couldn’t care less about a baby’s fate once it’s born! While it’s in the womb, they’re all SO ‘pro-life’ — but that ‘deep concern’ vanishes once it’s a living, breathing child.
Suddenly, at that point, it’s all up to the parents, no matter how unprepared or indifferent they are — and yet, any help from their city or the state is labelled ‘Socialist interference.’
Uh, NO — I’m sorry, but that’s a crock of very stinky shit. If you’re truly ‘pro-life,’ you stand up for all lives, not just unborn fetuses, and act in a loving, respectful manner toward ALL people — including women who want or need an abortion.
Remember: no one wants an abortion like they want a new car or a raise; it’s always a painful, difficult choice — and one that women should NOT be punished for.
Respect is love-in-action
Respect is built around acceptance, love, and appreciation: not sappy, sentimental ‘love,’ but a deep commitment to direct love-in-action. It feeds on itself, so over time, respect inevitably creates more respect.
Respect begets respect, just as hate begets more hate.
I think it’s demonstrably true: Respect grows from a deep commitment to love-in-action. Impersonal, open-minded love — in action, moment to moment.
And honestly — what the hell is so hard about that?!
Looking around at today’s world, we see scared people everywhere — collapsing into a moral abyss of fear, racism, misogyny, and homophobia. Anxiety and depression are at epidemic levels, and more and more, people are at each other’s throats.
To call this trend ‘worrisome’ is a vast understatement.
It’s not rocket science. It’s simple R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Yet the ‘cure’ isn’t terribly difficult. It’s not some outlandish, impossible-to-achieve moral or religious imperative. In fact, it’s incredibly simple (though not always easy):
Just ‘love your neighbor(s).’
Just respect and accept your neighbors — and their choices.
Just ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you.’
It’s totally straightforward: If you don’t wish to be restricted or oppressed … well, don’t try to impose oppressive, restrictive limits on others.
Even further, you can go the extra mile and try hard to be loving, accepting, or even ‘nice’ to people.
It’s NOT rocket science, people. It’s simple R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
Just choose to learn and grow. Choose to embody love-in-action — and to learn to treat everyone with compassion and respect.
In truth, anyone can do it. Anyone. It just takes sincere willingness, an open heart — and lots of practice.
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
From The Good Men Project on Medium
 |
 |
 |
 |
***
Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—–
Photo credit: Domo . on Unsplash
