Rage Farming Attracts More Flies Than Honey

We never seem to get together in appreciation. Have people always been driven together by dwelling on the negatives? Does the world truly have so much more bad than good? Suffering than peace? Probably. But could some of it be mob mentality? In daily life most people carry on like things are generally okay… and the world functions.

Here on Medium, it is cliché to complain about the patriarchy, misogyny, racism, dating, finances, time. And because of that I feel comfortable here as a woman who suffered sexual abuse. Medium is a haven for me. I agree that we need to speak out against these things.

Here we also notice both men and women of all ethnicities agree on so much of this. They write in comments supporting and condemning the systematic injustices. There are so many good people all around us.

Who wants to get together and praise the good things and good people with me?

“Sounds nice, but maybe when I have more time.”

Who wants to get together and complain with me?

“Amen, sister! Ooh, I do, I do. Me me me! Me too! What are we complaining about? Oh hell yeah, let me get a piece of that. I’ll make time for that.”

I am a staunch advocate of speaking up for injustice. But I now want to acknowledge all the good people who in my life and here on Medium have far outnumbered the bad.

Thank you to the many men who have given supportive comments when I wrote about my sexual abuse and who supported others brave enough to share their survivor stories. To the men who condemn dictatorship and the systematic oppression of women, racism, and abuse of power.

“Never underestimate the stupidity of people in large groups.”

The point is that most of the men I have had relationships with in the last decade, intimate or otherwise, were good men. The men I know now are good men.

I have known bad men.

In a three year abusive marriage right out of high school my dreams of the ideal marriage crashed and burned under the yoke of a narcicisstic husband who shared me with other men, and subsequent support groups have given me first hand accounts of wicked acts of many bad men. However, even in my dark times, there were good men. And in the decade since I was freed I have known exclusively wonderful men. Time after time, I have found chivalrous men who were against misogeny. Friends who helped out and shared mutual interests. Lovers who were generous in spirit and in love making.

I recently replied to a piece that crapped on chivalry. While I respect the viewpoint and its basis, I replied;

“Agree to disagre. I have known so many good men…Chivalry was an important aspect of their desire to help the world, treat everyone well, and show a special tenderness and respect to women, the way they had been taught. Not all traditions are bad, and I would prefer you not badmouth this one. Andrew Tate and misogynists are not chivalrous. Men who put women on a pedestal often are.”

Here on Medium it seems that good men are abundant. Horrendous injustices and bad men and people are still out there, and there is sex trafficking, domestic abuse, child abuse, and malevolent acts by evil people. But there are also so many wonderful men who fight against such evil, and those who do not commit any of the evils and speak out against it.

Can love be stronger than hate?

Thank you good men and women who try to make the imperfect world better and help and support those who need it.

You have my gratitude.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.