I wish that I could say that I’m okay with what I see on social media, but I’m really not. As a writer, almost everyone in the industry has used Reddit — either for inspiration or for information on a trend they see happening.
Unfortunately, if you look like a woman or are a woman on Reddit, this leads to a totally different experience than if you’re a guy. The double standards are everywhere. Men trash women on their own forums, they harass women in the DMs, and worse.
Frankly, I lurk on Reddit all the time and it’s kind of time I express my sentiment. Obviously all the men who hate women will be happy to know they’ve fucked up my experience on this site permanently.
Reddit’s famous for being the cause of women limiting their safe spaces.
If you go on major sites like Reddit’s r/relationships, you’ll notice that women are treated on a harsher judgement scale than men. Okay, casual misogyny is bad. What’s worse is that Reddit is incentivized to share and promote stuff that hates women.
Women who admit they’re having a bad time with men often get death threats. They’re sent suicide alerts. They’re invalidated every single toss and turn of their time here.
Honestly, the fact that we see men upvoting this stuff is toxic to us. But it definitely shows their true colors.
It’s also pretty famous for making women rethink the way they talk to men — and not in a good way.
Women are not stupid. They know that the hateful rhetoric that so many men are espousing is not going to stay online. This is actually how these men feel about women. They don’t love us. They fucking hate us and want us dead.
The radicalization that Reddit causes is no better than what was on 4Chan or on FOX News or on Facebook. In fact, I’d wager it’s worse because this site gives people echo chambers that they can bounce off.
Lately, the toxicity of Reddit’s behavior and posts has got to me. I stopped being able to view men as potential friends. I started to feel more comfortable just avoiding them altogether — the opposite of what porn has done to me. I’m genuinely not okay with this.
I mean really, how am I (or anyone who presents female) supposed to trust men after seeing how they talk about women online? Sure, sure, I can unplug from Reddit, but you know what? I shouldn’t have to and frankly, this is a major eye-opener.
Reddit and sites like it are a large reason why I’d never remarry or date again if my husband and I split. After reading what men say about women, I can’t trust them anymore. I have my homeboys, and that’s all I want to have. New guys? Not trustworthy.
I’m tired of being told I’m crazy or stupid or sensitive for being angry at how Reddit treats women.
If one person says it’s a problem, it may be a matter of sensitivity. If it’s bad enough that women have to post asking how to cope with the fact that men are terrorizing them on social media, we’re not being sensitive.
It’s WAY TOO MANY MEN. And it’s messing us up. And men need to stop acting like this is okay, because when the shoe is on the other foot, they flip out.
Like the sun rises every day, I guarantee you that there will be guys online who will find a way to make this women’s fault. They might say we should be more submissive or something. It’s like clockwork. (Fuck them, it’s never enough for them.)
Men are experiencing fallout from this too.
Photo by Lon Christensen on Unsplash
I wrote about this before, but I’ll say it again. The way that men post online, be it telling women to “close their legs” and “choose the right guy” or the way they call us “difficult” for not kowtowing to them, is harming men’s chances at dating.
Personally, I’ve read enough that I lost too much faith in men as a whole. I really lucked out with my husband, but if I were to find myself single again, that’d be the end of it. Truth be told, the misogynistic shit I’ve seen on Reddit has made it hard for me to even find men attractive anymore.
I’m not the only one. When I’m at parties and we’re talking about social media, it’s a trend that I hear from a lot of girls. We never say it openly near guys. But between us? Yeah, it’s a moment that’s shared between whispers.
So if you’re wondering why women seem more afraid of dating men these days, here ya go guys. It’s this. This shit is what makes women not okay with you and what makes women give up hope on men.
Guys can tell us to not give up and to not “throw the baby with the bathwater” all they want, but the truth is, it’s not going to do jack shit. In fact, they are in no position to tell women how to react to the bullying of their gender.
How women react to men’s hatred is not something men can or should control. If it means that men go without dates because they can’t police the chodes among them, that’s what will happen.
I’d ask for Reddit to curb this, but let’s face it, it won’t happen.
Reddit and Facebook both love to hate women. And banning the Red Pill and Incel forums was only done because women were murdered and they got scared for lawsuits. If they could still keep those forums up, they would.
It’s a shame. It shouldn’t be this way. You’d think men would appreciate women considering that we’re their moms, sisters, and daughters. But, hey, I guess it was #maskoff time for too many men.
Like real talk, how are women supposed to believe in men when they see them post shit like this online? How are we supposed to sit there and find men attractive after reading this shit? It’s not all men, but fuck this, it’s too many!
Either way, men shouldn’t be shocked when they find the dating scene increasingly difficult to navigate. Reddit is just one of many things that have made myself (and others) lose their trust in the male gender. Y’all did this shit to yourselves.
Edit: If you are a guy who’s about to wail about how this is anti-male, I’ll block you on this. Men who say this are exactly what this article is about.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Brett Jordan on Unsplash
I am so glad many of these comments prove the authors point. Also men do not realize females are afraid of getting raped and/or murdered…not just having their feelings hurt. I have no idea why they cannot process this. Too many men usually think females are overdramatic about it, which shows their own character. The comment about hormones and pressure causing men to commit crimes is absolute peak pathetic. Men need to stop blaming external factors for their entitlement and impulse control issues. Unless a man is on trenbolone, etc with 1000+ levels your testosterone is not the problem. Yes… Read more »
The distribution of upvotes and downvotes across these comments just further supports the point of this article lol
Can’t see this post doing much to build bridges between the TWO sexes and this is the exact problem with discussions about male/female relations . . . . the most unhealthy and resentful people on both sides are always the loudest.
So true. Reddit men are crazy. They think they’re oppressed because women don’t compliment them or have sex with them. I’m serious.
The reason men hate women is because they were likely treated poorly by them. Feelings of rejection, ridicule, betrayal, and isolation build up over time, and this is the result.
deal with your emotions better. the real reason men hate women is because they were conditioned to since the beginning of fucking time. they STILL don’t know how to be respectful and not objectify women. if you’re isolated it’s probably because you have major red flags that no one wants to get near
Women don’t even see men, especially those they regard as less than as human beings, but human doings at best. Throw in how the state abused and oppressed men at the behest of women and what do you expect? That is why the Manosphere is only expanding. Therefore there’s plenty of abuse and disrespect hurled by both sexes at each other.
Yeah, on one hand I can totally understand why the author feels this way. On the other hand, I’m pretty certain a lot of people, men and women, feel the same way after reading internet hatred. I’ve experienced quite a bit of angry misandry when positing the most mild of challenges to an issue. I’ve continually seen wholesale hatred of men on social justice posts, and I could see this article as just that. But the internet is a sad reflection of our society, because it allows people to be their worst selves without consequence, and irresponsible people do exactly… Read more »
Good god, what a load of horse crap. Middle aged purple hair complains that TEENAGE boys are mean to women on the most shut in forum of weirdos the internet has ever seen. More news at 5.
These aren’t teenaged boys, they’re grown men. And it’s not meanness, it’s misogyny. These are mainstream platforms mistly used by average grown men.
Perhaps the title of this article should be “Reading on Reddit Made Me Realize How Much Men ON REDDIT Hate Women”
All cows are animals; not all animals are cows.
Men maybe bitter about women, but the bitterness in not formed in a vacuum. They may be bitter because women have cheated on them or used them like an ATM. Let’s face it people are lousy and women are people. They may have drinking problems, or a gambling addiction. They can also murder — even their own children. So you can condemn all men, but you should also look in the mirror.
She don’t want to hear that big bruh
Yeah, but statically, men do the most murdering of both women and men. You also statistically rape the most. You statistically do the most horrible shit in the world, so I’d back off on your whataboutism.
How blatantly hypocritical of you. First of all, the use of the word “you” instead of “men” in your accusatory statements belies your sexist anger. We all know that men are responsible for the most violent crimes. There are many factors behind this, but none of them are that men are inherently less moral than women. Men endure certain pressures and frustrations, caused by society (including women), along with hormonal differences, which all contribute to these statistics. We should examine these factors to find better ways to lessen their impact, rather than just saying “men are bad: be better.”
There is no point trying to reason with misogynists. Misogynists convince themselves that men are a historically oppressed group in the same way women, African Americans or gay people are. They live in these manosphere bubbles where they pretend to care about men’s “rights” when really these are just forums for the same old misogyny we’ve always seen.
Even less reason to attempt reasoning with misandrists.