Maya was dozing off on her bed, gazing into space.
She analyzed every moment of her love life.
To be specific, she thought of all the heartbreaks, betrayals, and toxic relationships. She was wondering why she was struggling to keep a relationship.
That is not what she wants.
Though she’s not asking for too much but an amazing, fulfilling, and satisfying love life. But it just seems unattainable to her.
Now, as the curious creature that she is, she sought explanations for the outcomes of her dating and love life.
She examined all of her actions. She discovered that a lot of them led to bad experiences. Yet, all she wanted was the opposite.
And she couldn’t help but wonder why she is finding it hard to have an amazing forever love with her, Mr. Right.
In case you’re also wondering why you struggle to have a “forever” love relationship, here are a few reasons:
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You’re thinking that love alone is enough
This is one of the worst mistakes and also the reason many people struggle to have an amazing relationship with the right partner.
When you believe that “Love conquers all”. And that everything will be fine as long as you and your partner love each other enough. Your relationship and happiness will suffer. Even after years of being single, you have found the one.
Because love does not conquer all, it cannot sustain a strong and healthy relationship. For a relationship to last, we must build it on mutual trust, respect, open and effective communication, authenticity, compromise, and shared values.
Andone of the most important mindsets you should have included in your toolbox is love can’t fix all the hardships, imbalances, and incompatibilities in any relationship. For a relationship to stand the test of time, it needs to be rooted in the earlier-mentioned fundamental pillars of healthy relationships.
That’s why you shouldn’t even think of marrying someone or getting into a relationship because you’re in love. There is more than love in a relationship.
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You equate a good person with a great relationship.
One thing I’ve noticed over the years with relationships is, we equate a good person with a good relationship, which is one of the main reasons many of us have bad love lives.
I’m not saying it’s bad because it’s believed that a good person with a golden heart is a keeper in relationships.
And a relationship with a good person may bring more delight, excitement, and satisfaction into one’s life than a relationship with a bad person.
What I mean is that. Being in a relationship with a wonderful person is incredible. But also possible to be incompatible or have different relationship expectations with a wonderful person.
So, instead of looking for a relationship with a good person. Aim for a relationship with an amazing person who shares the same or compatible long-term goals.
Because It’s not worth the satisfaction, and fulfillment of being with someone who isn’t just great but also compatible with you and otherwise.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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Photo credit: Victoria Roman on Unsplash