The Relationship Quarterback Makes a Play for Women

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Sophie Scholl, 21, stood resolute as her impending future was already written. Hours earlier, Roland Freisler convicted Scholl, her brother Hans, and Christoph Probst of high treason. The guillotine would end the three young lives before most adults their age have a clue.

“How can we expect righteousness to prevail when there is hardly anyone willing to give himself up individually to a righteous cause,” said Scholl in her last words before execution. “Such a fine, sunny day, and I have to go, but what does my death matter, if through us, thousands of people are awakened and stirred to action?”

74 years ago, the three Germans led a group called The White Rose in opposition to Adolf Hitler’s rule and were killed for their stance.

While this is an extreme case, people have been fighting for just causes long before Scholl and will continue to do so long after you and I have perished. There are always things worth fighting for.

Last week, Tampa Bay Buccaneers Quarterback Jameis Winston said ladies are “supposed to be silent, polite, gentle.” Anyone who has witnessed a woman in action knows this not to be true.

He would later clarify his statement, but “the cat was out of the bag.”

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It’s up to all of us to fight these societal and gender norms that challenge the way we should perceive females. If you are a man in a relationship with a female, believe it or not, it is your job to stand with your counterpart.

It has long been believed that women are the weaker sex.  In Ephesians, Chapter 5, verse 22-24 The Bible says:

“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

I know this verse because, at my brother’s wedding, the pastor (my dad) used this as an example of how my new sister-in-law should approach the evolution of their relationship. I know this verse because as the pastor/dad said these words I could see the fire burn in the pupils of the bride’s eyes as steam rose from above her head and above the collected heads of her bride’s maids.

My dad would later walk back these claims and hold a stance similar to what I ask of you before we get to the questions of the week. There is no weaker sex. The only way relationships work is if you both realize you are in it together. One cannot walk on only one leg before falling to the ground. One cannot be productive in a relationship if you do not realize you both need each other to stand above the fray. As she supports you, you should support her and that includes rejecting these ideas of silence, politeness, and gentle behavior among women.

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On to the questions…

Dear Relationship Quarterback,

My wife hates sports. How do I get her to like sports?
Sincerely,

Sporty in Sacramento

Dear Sporty,

Easy answer. Have kids.

…just kidding.

Let’s be honest, this shouldn’t be news to you. You should have known before you got married that you and your wife had shared passions and also opposing interests. If you thought you could change her, shame on you. If you wanted to change her, maybe look within and change part of yourself. Reach out and meet her halfway. Join her in one of her interests that you don’t really care for and she shall return the favor…because she loves you.

My wife could not care less for sports. Always has. What I did was find something about sports that she found interesting. For her, it was going to a live event and getting caught up in the environment surrounding the game, the hotdogs at a baseball game, the music at a basketball game, etc.

You might not get her to like sports, but you may get her to tolerate it…and who knows what can happen from there.

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Dear Relationship Quarterback,

I never get to watch games on TV anymore. There’s always something to do, or somewhere to go. All I want to do sometimes is sit on the couch watch my game and call it a day.

How do I get my girlfriend to see things my way?

TIA,

Couch Potato in California

Dear Potato,

In baseball, the sacrifice bunt is a ploy used to advance a base runner into scoring position. The idea being you are giving yourself a better chance of putting a run on the board by giving up an out.

You can use this philosophy in your relationship as well.

If you desperately need to watch a game, you might have to sacrifice a few batters to get yourself into scoring position. Identify things going on in your relationship where you can be selfless for your girl all the while making sure you keep her aware that you really want to watch a game coming up. The more outs you rack up, the better your chance is of scoring that game on the couch. Great thing about this, the inning doesn’t change after three outs, you can keep racking up those sacrifices while continuing to iterate your desire to watch your game and sooner or later you’re going to bring that runner across.
Just remember, just like in baseball, sometimes you strike out when trying to lay down that sacrifice and you have to be prepared for that. Nothing is 100% successful.

Sincerely,

The Relationship Quarterback

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Submit your questions via email to [email protected] or in the comments, below. Watch this column weekly for answers.

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